[ohmyitschelle]

So I was recently contacted by my good friend about a horse she knew that I had been admiring that was up for sale. The "owner" is a newly acquired friend in the horse world and we've pleasantly exchanged contact over our mares and experiences. I feel she is a relatively nice person over all. I will refer to her as "A". Once she found out I was interested in this mare of hers, she got very eager and contacted my friend for a time to meet up and see the horse in person etc. That was fine by me, but then the situation changed a little. I was aware that this mare was going back to the previous owner (refering to as "B") after a specific time to be sold on. The arrangement was that I would meet the mare, under the care of "A" and then when she went back to owner "B" I would go through the transaction of sale. Apparently "B" has a few horses, and doesn't want to keep the horse, but it was in their contract that the mare would return there. Whatever, it was a little confusing but I came to the sound conclusion I would be, if interested still, buying from "B" right at the beginning of this offer.

Today I received a message that "A" couldn't meet me with the mare any longer as she had to return her to "B" in a specific month and she was very upset and couldn't sell me the mare. Red flags were raised in my mind, as I was under the assumption that the horse was returning to "B" and I was buying from her, not "A". I consulted my friend who has played messenger (and perhaps is the problem to the miscommunication), and "A" thought she was the one selling her, not "B". CONFUSING I KNOW!

Normally I would go "not worth it, other horses out there, get on with life" over anything this complicated sounding. However, this mare reminds me of a very special horse to me who crossed the rainbow bridge over a year ago. The first time I saw a picture of this mare, I had to do a double take as I thought it was my lost mare. She also is what I've been looking for, and seems to be well put together. She has some issues that I think are down to ill fitting gear, and like I said I was going to be realistic and make sure it wasn't fully based on the horse she reminded me of, and ensure she was a good match in person. I can't help but feel irked that this has ended this way, when it hasn't changed, only in the eyes of "A".

In this position I have thought of turning to "B" the official owner I guess you call her and asking if the horse is for sale whether when she returns to her in the specific month, or not. As I mentioned, I'm led to believe this person is not wanting to keep the horse and is selling her on. I feel a little hesitant to make this move, as I don't want to offend "A" who has her now and is clearly under a different impression of everything.

Would you if in this position, flag it? Or contact "B" and see what's going on? Or would you wait until the horse has been returned to "B" and contact then? I was hoping that if I met the mare when I was meant to, things would be able to move along nicely, despite the weird scenario.

Sigh. If only buying horses was so straight forward all the time!

 

[DuffyDuck]

Trust your gut instinct.

Get rid of your friend as the middle man and contact B straight away, just in case she palms the horse off on someone else. You'll kick yourself if its an opportunity missed.

If however when you get there you don't feel right and the situation is more hassle than its worth etc, you can walk away- but you don't know till you try.

Also, I would take a responsible horse person with you. Finding a horse that reminds us of the 'one' some times makes us do silly things, so have a friend along to help your head rule over your heart.

Good luck though!!

 

[ohmyitschelle]

Thanks Duffy!
My gut instinct is to not give up this opportunity. She's a lovely looking mare and I wasn't even thinking of another horse - but with my mare being miserable alone, I was suddenly offered this mare, at the perfect time I guess. Seems a bit too good to be true, but my whole family (even though I'm an adult) are all for it, so I guess the hopes are already up. Might have to get the number for B tomorrow! Thanks for the message!

 

[iridehorses]

I would contact A directly and ask about the horse. I would then contact whoever has the authority to sell the horse and make the deal.

If I didn't get a clear answer from A - or it became more confusing, I would go to B directly.

Actually, it seems that A is only leasing the horse but B is the actual owner and that the lease term is ending which is why B wants to sell the horse.

 

[DuffyDuck]

Thanks Duffy!
My gut instinct is to not give up this opportunity. She's a lovely looking mare and I wasn't even thinking of another horse - but with my mare being miserable alone, I was suddenly offered this mare, at the perfect time I guess. Seems a bit too good to be true, but my whole family (even though I'm an adult) are all for it, so I guess the hopes are already up. Might have to get the number for B tomorrow! Thanks for the message!

No problems!

Still take someone with you though, you might not see problems that they do

Is the mare now back with B then, the true owner? I would contact who ever the mare is with, and go from there!

 

[franknbeans]

I am seeing a few red flags here that I would caution you about, but first-get the middle men out of the situation, and go directly to the person who OWNS the horse. Be careful how you word it, and I would not seem TOO anxious, as the price may well go up.

It makes me uncomfortable that you seem so set on this mare because of her "look" and similarity to your old mare. IMO, this is a no win situation. There is NO way this new mare will EVER be your old one, and it is not fair to you or her to get her with the mindset you have, unless of course you just want to look at her. As much as I am sure you would love her, I would think that BOTH of you would be better off moving on-her to a home who will look at her with new eyes and not constantly be trying to make her like a horse she is not, and you, because you need to also look for the specialness of another horse and not be searching for your old one. Cherish her memory, don't try to duplicate it. You can never go back. It is never the same.:wink:

 

[ohmyitschelle]

Thanks iridehorses and Duffy. The horse is with A at present and with their contract it is to return to B in about 4 months. Makes no sense to me to take care of a horse for the upcoming winter and then return it ready for spring and selling but I'm not going to question it. A apparently paid some monetary value but has a contract over the horse. It is said A is the co owner I guess at present but has been told to return the horse so I'm too assuming it's some weird lease agreement.
I want to do the right thing by the horse. I did mention to A that I was under the assumption I was always to be buying from B but received no reply - only a friendly comment on Facebook regarding another situation. I'm not sure why A is upset when her plan was to return the mare to B for selling - she just got excited I was interested I guess. Sigh I'm still no closer to understanding the big deal over why things suddenly changed.
Will aim to contact B tomorrow regarding this and have thought it right to be upfront with A that I'm contacting B.
Duffy, will definitely take a friend along!!!!
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[Mellow Mel]

Go straight to B! Things are probably being misunderstood with too many people involved...like the game telephone we played as kids.

 

[ohmyitschelle]

I am seeing a few red flags here that I would caution you about, but first-get the middle men out of the situation, and go directly to the person who OWNS the horse. Be careful how you word it, and I would not seem TOO anxious, as the price may well go up.

It makes me uncomfortable that you seem so set on this mare because of her "look" and similarity to your old mare. IMO, this is a no win situation. There is NO way this new mare will EVER be your old one, and it is not fair to you or her to get her with the mindset you have, unless of course you just want to look at her. As much as I am sure you would love her, I would think that BOTH of you would be better off moving on-her to a home who will look at her with new eyes and not constantly be trying to make her like a horse she is not, and you, because you need to also look for the specialness of another horse and not be searching for your old one. Cherish her memory, don't try to duplicate it. You can never go back. It is never the same.:wink:

Thanks for your message. I have thought this rationally myself even though my words seem like I want this mare simply for that reason. However she has been looked at a prospect for what I'm after and so far ticks all the boxes. That's not making her fit into them either - I had to sell my 'soulmate' horse because his movement was too big for me to handle after shattering my leg. Even with high emotions for an animal I can be rational and put the horse first.
Yes I admit the colour of this mare made me go 'woah she has no markings and a head like my old mare'. But that is where it stops. I don't need another mare like the one I lost as she was one of a kind and passed on enough knowledge to put into my current mare. I hope that if I meet this mare in person I get to see her own personality outshine the first impression I received.
Am I making sense?? It's bed time here haha!! Thank you for your wise words I will keep them in mind and if it gets any more confusing I will be stepping away.
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[ohmyitschelle]

UPDATE: Contacted B today, only to receive a text message from A telling me this horse was never to be sold and has a forever home with B. There are major inconsistencies in the whole situation from both A & B but have decided that it's not worth trying to figure out and cut my losses. If a new horse is meant to be, there will be others out there to look at if it's the right path for me to take.

Thanks again for the advice everyone, rather wishing I was never brought into this confusing scenario now!

 

[Samstead]

Defiantly go straight to B! But I'd be careful with emotions since the horse reminds you of your lost mare buying this horse could pull up old feelings and make you miss your mare even more. That said the complete opposite could happen to I just don't want you going to a bunch of trouble to get this horse and realize it was a mistake

 

[ohmyitschelle]

Thanks Samstead, but the mare is now apparently not up for sale, so I'm not bothering

 

[CinderEve]

Sorry it didn't work out. Sounds as though it was a lease situation.

Good luck with your search for a new horse!

 

[ohmyitschelle]

Already been offered another horse - from it's official owner. Certainly didn't think things would be like this haha! Thanks!
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