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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Its not easy.

Feel like my arm has been removed. Dad's mare has gone to be a pasture puff in the most amazing place due to continual lameness from her navicular.

My boy is with my trainer, and also has an amazing life home.

But I find although I have more money, I am having no fun. Feels like a big part of me is gone and I need to find something to give that love to.

Finally put his saddle up for sale so I can get my driving started. Have someone to look at it tonight and still feel sick and that he is going to come here any minute.

Daft, eh?

How has everyone else coped? I am trying to persuade my dad looking at something suitable for us both would be a good idea early next year.. but it may be knee jerk reaction to having no horse. How I wish Dubai had been bigger and older so he could carry my dad too :(
 

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I know what you mean.

Without a horse I have enough money to get by, I am more flexible but it's like my life just bland. Nothing to think and dream about. I've been a horse rider and owner for so long that it's not just a hobby, but part of my identity. Since having a horse again I am permanently broke but I go out everyday, think and dream about things I am going to do. I just feel more like me.

I hope you can work something out to make you happy.
 

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When I was horseless, I had to focus on my other goals. Fortunately, I had three adorable "goals" (my daughters), who by their existence reminded me that they were my priority at that time.

I did stay involved in agriculture and horse-related issues as a volunteer, doing education and outreach on legislative issues and such. I also kept a few bits of tack that I could touch as something concrete (a crummy headstall with bit, a halter, and an extra leather curb strap!).

I sold my ranch saddle and gear first for the rent one month, and a year later sold my hunter tack and the rest to pay for a semester of tuition. Those were tough to do. The memories we can have attached to objects! I understand.

Best wishes at getting back into and around horses.
 

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I don't know how things work in Germany but would it be possible for you and your father to get something low maintenance, maybe older, not in need of so much consistent training like a youngster, that you guys could share and keep in a pasture board set up? Obviously that wouldn't further your dressage goals, but there's a lot to be said for trail riding and general pottering about.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Littrella, we don't have that sort of thing out here unfortunately. I have previously helped with therapy and additional needs riding and thoroughly enjoyed it! The only volunteer work you'll get around here is free labour skipping out boxes for others ;)

TSS I have tried, and to be honest there are some reasonably priced 7-14YO horses that hack and plod in the school that I could easily train up and enjoy, and dad could pootle in the school and hack with. Its just persuading.

They say money is happiness.. don't feel the happy right now!

I am sure where there is a will there is a way.

I wish I had something to focus on (But currently not gearing up to have kids haha) but apart from my driving (which is turning in to a complete nause trying to find a school that speaks English and do it under 14 months!) and a course I am doing, there is nothing to keep me out of mischief.. trust me.. I have looked!

Where there is a will there is a way..
 

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Cant realy give you any advice because when I was horseless I didnt cope at all. I lasted 2 weeks after stan died before I caved and bought Reeco.

Mum was pushing me into it as well because according to her I was a jittery mess that had no way of ridding myself of stress and energy (I dont do Gyms and never will).
 

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Urgh, I'm not coping either. My mental health has gone down the toilet since leasing out Brock. I'm going to volunteer at a therapy barn 10 minutes down the road, but need to wait til next year as they are only open during work hours and my neck is on the chopping block as it is, so can't afford to take Friday afternoons off :-(
 

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DD, sorry I missed it somewhere, but why don't you ride your boy? I remember you were so excited.

P.S. "money is happiness" is truly wrong statement IMHO.
 

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Been there. What works for me is finding another project and throwing myself into it, something physical. It can be as simple as going to a gym or start running. As much as we lover our time in the barn, it's also a very active hobby/sport and your body will miss that activity. Keep active and you'll find that the time away from your horse won't be as bad.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Val, before the big move (old military camp was closing, everyone relocated two hours up the road) I made the decision to put Dubai up for sale. My dad's mare wasn't looking great, but Dubai isn't big enough for him, or far enough on in his education. I tried finding a loan but couldn't. I am looking at leaving Germany in two years (maybe less, maybe more.. but only by months) and joining the British army as an officer; 48 weeks intensive training and then could be posted anywhere. Also, first year as a 2Lt is full of courses away from your posting. To me, that wasn't fair for such a young talented horse to be ridden once, maybe twice a week.

Found an amazing person for him in less than a week, PPE was flawless. Due to previous issues with her old horse she wanted Xrays of the legs- no problems. He has a compact injury from foal/young horse age in his right hock. Three different vets have said the leg could go tomorrow, two years, twenty years.

My trainer offered him a home for life as I was very reluctant to send him somewhere I didn't know for 'free'. She didn't pay me a dime for him, and I am so happy he is where he is.

But it doesn't stop me wanting to go and load him up and bring him here. I have cried over my little horse more than I did when my ex did the dirty on me and broke my heart!

Wetrain, I am already doing fitness! But as I am becoming fitter I am feeling better and my mind is alert and wanting more now. Building on it slowly as I have a suspect feeling I may be in hospital for tests soon. Double edged sword!

Faye, my mum is pushing me in to looking at another for myself and dad. But financially and time wise, I can't take on something without my dad's support.
 

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How sad you let him go, DD! He is AWESOME! But I do understand your reasoning. Can't really advice anything, but best of luck in whatever you do!
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I know, and now he can be awesome in the best home.

I miss him so much, been back once already and going back end of Aug to see him again. Should be very thankful that it is only 2 1/2 hours by train!

Thanks Val, just feeling sorry for myself and down in the dumps... first world problems, eh!

If anyone wishes to send me a ponio, I promise it will have the most awesome life ever haha!
 

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Duffy, I'd send you splodgey pony but he is needed here, although I've managed to break my wrist falling down the stairs so god only knows how I'm going to get him to my next show or to CHAPS Champs at the end of the month. I've ridden with a broken wrist before but it isnt fun!
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Urgh you poor thing! Stairs! I hyper flexed my wrist.. Picking up a plate of chicken! Ended up getting X-rays and missed a ride... Nearly cried! Sending healing jingles your way!

And thank you for the offer of the Splodgey one :)
 

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I can fall off horses at 30mph head first into walls or on to tarmac etc and not get hurt, but I cant fall down 1 flight of carpeted stairs without breaking something. Ironic isnt it!
 

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You are an experienced rider, is there anyone who needs horses exercised or even leased so you can have a temporary connection while you figure out what you want to do longer term for your own riding horse?
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Sorry Faye, I just burst out laughing in the office... Cue funny stares! You and I should never be allowed out together.. We'd just end up tripping over each other! Too alike. I typically trip over my own feet on a daily basis!

I have a loan for the moment, but the horse is often ill due to a previous illness. She is also loaned by two other riders who...well, I will be nice enough to say they could do what I am and use the very good trainer for lessons!

So far, I have found no other horses.. All haflingers or isi horses... Isi are the Iceland horses? Not sure in English oops! Or people wanting their nutter horses ridden.. Been there, done that.. I like that my bones don't wobble too much
 

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If anyone wishes to send me a ponio, I promise it will have the most awesome life ever haha!
Hehe... Just move over here to Maryland - you can ride both mine. :)
 
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