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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Mike's (administrator) Christmas party. It was RusticWildFire who spiked the punch with too much wine. I can't help it if I drank 23 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like horse poo with a mysterious flavour in it.

I thought it was funny when I put Appylover's size 54 bra on my head and it slipped all the way to the floor while dancing the Jive on the computer chair and singing `Listen to you Heart'. I didn't mean to break JustDressageit's water bra errr ballons- she said I could borrow them and don't know how it ended down on 3Neighs shirt. I certainly shouldn't have been sued for it.

I don't remember calling Kentucky's wife a large horse---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and baby blue lipstick! Good buttocks though.

And when I threw up on Iride's neck, it was only because I ate too much of that turkey that his wife cooked. Note to self..have someone taste test it first.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Audi through Farmpony's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for Farmpony to call me a scared dog and have me arrested for speeding! I was hoping to see Percy..in some sort of state.

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all dirty and cold. And I'm really not to blame for any of this stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and patiently yours,
Spyder (Really a nice girl!...sometimes)

P.S. It's only 6 bucks!
 

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Falling of a chair laughing *rips and knocks*.
 

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Dear Spyder,

Santa may forgive you for the chaos that ensued at the Horse Forum Christmas Party, but I'm afraid it's going to take me some time.

My arms are exhausted from scrubbing the carpet, and I have much more to go. Who'd of thought one Spyder could produce such a mess!?

Unfortunately I spent the last of my money on cleaning products. Know that I did try trading in carrots for your bail, but they wouldn't have it.

I hope you at least have some good company there. Luckily for them you don't have access to wine.

Next year we will pull a plastic basin beside the table for you to sit in and take your keys.

Happy Holidays,
Mike

PS: Madlib? I remember those!
 

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Discussion Starter #4
So lets hear from the other members of HF about their "Dear Santa" version.:p
 

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Ok, well.....

Dear Santa,

I really didn't mean it when I hit my brother and almost hurt him about a million times this year. Something told me to do it.....

And should I REALLY be blamed for smashing my hand in the car door? It was Daniel who did the smashing, and all of the sudden it's my fault?

And I'm really sorry I stoll all those carrotts, but man, they looked so good, how could I not!

So what I really want for Christmas is no little brother, a nonhurt hand, and carrots. (perferibly Spyder's because they are more fun to steal :D)

Awaiting your arivle,
SB
 

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Dear Santa,

I don't think it's fair that people accuse me of STEALING their carrots when they've left them unattended! I mean, doesn't everyone have a right to climb up on a pedastool and play the self-righteous do-gooder? It was for the carrots that I snuck out into the forum in the middle of the night all those times, stealing, I mean saving all those poor pitiful NEGLECTED carrots! It means I'm a good girl.

I am such a kind and caring person that I would be proud to send bail money to the Spyder but I spent it all on the ingredients I will need to make the most delicious carrot cake ever created. I love these tiny little shrivled orange trinkets that I've stol-saved throughout the year.

Santa, I've been a good girl. A pretty pretty little princess riding through the forum saving the community one carrot at a time...

OH! And I really really didn't mean to put that vodka in Vidaloco's egg nog. I had no idea the loco in her name really stood for WOWSERS! Who'd have thought it would make her clothes come off so quickly like that! And Barbarosa... WHOA BABY! He really takes control of a situation doesn't he? And can he 2-step or what?

I did NOT MEAN to knock My2Geldings over into the punch bowl the way I did. It wasn't my fault really. I mean, she's so nimble that I forget that she has so much bailing twine and all those screws and plates from all the frankenstein surgeries she's had over the years. You know, to put humpty dumpty back together again... and when she got out on the dance floor with her man and did that dancing with the stars routine, I'd never have known what she's been through. And besides, the guys seemed to like her in that wet t-shirt... Especially after Spyder took her water bra.

I'm not sure why Administrator was being such a Fuddy duddy about all that puke, I have to admit, I've never had a turkey that tasted quite like that before, it was quite interesting. When Stormyblues and Gotxhorses snuck in, I know I should have reported them but we were having so much fun and how was I supposed to know the punch was spiked? I did NOT do that... and I didn't know they'd drink it... Or that they'd puke so much. Who would have thought a person could puke that much?

And I'm sorry I didn't help with the clean up. But I was too busy being selfish- I mean, caring for the well being of others.

Will you bring me a new living quarters trailer for Christmas please? I've been really really good!
 

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^hahahaha! You made me laugh and scare the people sitting around me! :D

keep 'em coming guys!
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Come on guys ...I started it for all to have fun.

Lets be creative with your own "special" "Dear Santa" letter.

Good one Farmpony...you still owe me a big big big carrot to TRY to replace Percy.
 

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Okay... Here we come! I just made this out of blue :lol:.

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Dear Santa,

Forgive me and that night. I'm a teetotaller but my mom didn't told me that she had mixed booze with that juice in a fridge. So actually I'm not responsible for the things I did. Except the stolen Christmas tree, but no one forest owner long for one, just one spruce, do they?

So well, after I had stolen my Christmas tree in a forest near our house I started to feel thirsty. I carried the tree home and decided to take a great sip of that delicious strawberry juice. Dad warmed up our little sauna and tell I'd have great time to bath just with myself because he and mom were participating a Christmas party in the neigbor town. So they left and I continued drinking that strawberry juice.

Finally I thought the sauna was warm enough, took my clothes off and climbed on the benches. I don't know how long I sat there when I found it was actually the hottest sauna I've ever sat in. I could bet there was over 300*C in that little room. Or perhaps it was 200. Or 100. Or 80. Anyway, at the very moment I remembered there was snowy outside. So, I thought, I could go outside and roll on snow. It'd cool me down a bit and there would be nothing wrong with it, I remember also my dad did it once when I was a little child and we were at our summer cottage among nothing. Oh Dear Santa, I was just... umm... a bit out of that world when I decided to do it so I didn't remember we live at a rowhouse. So that's why I didn't wear my bikini, swimsuit or actually nothing when I walked out of the sauna, during the shower room to the kitchen, took the last sip of that delicious juice and finally staggered out of our backdoor in our little backyard.

Dear Santa, I'm sorry if our neigbors saw something obscene during that night. I heard the old lady living in the next door caught a heart attack and was taken into a hospital. I hope she's doing well. Other neigbors looked me badly when I arrived at home after they had released me out of a local police's jail in the next day.

Well, back to the night. Finally, when I was rolled enough I found I actually felt cold so I decided to go to back in the sauna. There was only one problem; I was locked the backdoor after me when I went out and now I couldn't get in. So the very last memory I have is that I started to walk away. I don't know where was I going to or what was I thinking about but in the next morning I woke up in a local police's jail with terrible headache. They told me they had caught me wearing a Finnish flag (where I caught it?!? I can't remember) and singing 'O Holy Night' outside of a local old people's home. Someone there had called the cops and they had taken me to their jail. Luckily it wasn't very cold outside during that night since I had perhaps frozen myself then. Actually I found I already had some frostbites on my butt and soles.

Ps. Dear Santa, please forgot that Christmas tree, really. The police told I was very social during that night and told about my little theft very willingly and without they even askeda about it. They and the forest owner charged me around 200 euro for that. So I think it's indemnified.
 

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^^^LOL!!

Dear Santa,
I have been a bad girl alll year, like when I puched my brother or kicked him, or when I forgot to clean my room or when I got a 50 in math. So I was wondering, how much coal do you give away?

I was hoping to start a coal energy business and I need 500 tons of coal to start it up. Could you send it to Wala Wala, Washington? Maybe you cold get all of your reindeer and maybe Rodolph too to dump it on the warehouse for me.

Yours trully,
Bad Girl
 
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