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I just watched a show where mothers were either for or against spanking as a punishment. What do you think?

I was spanked as a kid. I know how to compose myself and I know discipline. I would never talk back to my parents and I respect my elders. Nor do I look back and say, "I hate my parents for spanking me, that was abuse." Frankly, I think alot of kids these days should have been spanked. I hate seeing kids out in public throw a fit. I understand that toddlers and young kids will do that, and I don't care. But the worst is when I go to the mall and see a TEENAGE girl or boy on their nice cell phone screaming at their parents because they won't let them stay at their friends house or won't buy them something. My parents would beat me with anything that wasn't tied down and I was horrible at talking back but after a few washes with bar soap I learned my lesson.
 

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I'd never consider using soap (but that's mostly because I absolutely cannot deal with puking kids!).

My kids have been spanked but quite rarely. Both my girls got spanked for running into the street, they were tots who couldn't be reasoned with and it HAD to stop because we lived on a busy street and they would be run over. I reserved spankings for when I NEEDED to make a point that something would not under any circumstance be tolerated.

My kids are 9 and 6 and I can't recall the last time they got spanked. There are much more effective ways of punishing them now that they are old enough to understand losing privileges and having extra chores to do for misbehaving. Want to spend your time talking back to me? Oh goody.... enjoy washing dishes, scrubbing bathrooms and folding laundry!
 

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Before I was a mother, there were so many things I swore I would and wouldn't do! So much changes when you have a child. I swore I would never spank. But I had and do, when it is necessary.

My kids are 9 and 6 and I can't recall the last time they got spanked. There are much more effective ways of punishing them now that they are old enough to understand losing privileges and having extra chores to do for misbehaving. Want to spend your time talking back to me? Oh goody.... enjoy washing dishes, scrubbing bathrooms and folding laundry!
That's my primary method as well. My son does get a swat from time to time, but it tends to be reserved for serious infractions. The best method I have found for his is taking away things he values - favorite toys, removal of TV privileges, tend to get results with him much more often.
 

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It's officially illegal here.

Anyways, I'm not sure what to think about that. On the one hand, what kind of message that gives to a child? You're allowed to hit other if they're weaker and don't obey the rules you give? Can a parent who threatens you physically be safe anymore? Does physical inviolability pertain to kids too?

On the other hand I think spanking can really make you respect your parents, without all that questioning and playing with limits and rules and it can also be a pretty straight way to teach what's wrong and what isn't. I don't either know if previous, spanked generations are more violent than the current "spankless" ones and if the child can just understand that spanking is just parents' way to set some limits, not a general way to treat other people.

Anyways I think I wouldn't go for that myself. I still don't accept spoiling and so-called uncontrolled parenting, children need rules and discipline. If you can't go physical way, then you have to find other effective ways to limit your children.
 

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Personally I agree with spanking. I had no problem with doing extra chores or getting grounded. My mother was an English teacher, so I also had to write essays. If I was mad I would still act up when I was little. I would never talk to my parents like so many other people my age do. If I did you can bet I would get slapped in the mouth, adn I would deserve it. I will say that I have never been the best at not talking back, but you couldn't have paid me enough to cuss at my parents or talk back in front of people EVER. There are plenty of times when I feel that a fast, strong discipline such as a spanking is much better than waiting until later to ground them or talk to them.
 

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I got my fair share of spankings when I was younger (and deserved every one of them). I personally think that spanking is a good method of punishment... if done correctly. Done in a loving way to correct the child is good. Done in anger, and it could quickly turn bad.... Even though I hated getting spanked way back when, now I appreciate that Mom and Dad did it.
 

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I agree with spanking, like others said, if it's done the correct way. Cause I was spanked as a kid and beaten as a kid and I understood the difference. I don't hold it against my parents because I was spanked. I think it made me more respectful towards my elders. You would never have caught me mouthing off to my teachers or my mother (or she would and did knock me into next week.). But my daughter tells me daily of episodes where she tells a teacher no..or backtalks. :( I feel that it's disrespectful and wish I had maybe spanked more so that respect towards your elders had been instilled in her.
 

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I grew up with spankings abound, even a teacher could grab you by the scruff and smack you about. Seems like things have been a lot worse since spankings became so unpopular. It needs to be brought back.
 

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It's officially illegal here.
:shock:
I only wish it was like that everywhere.
I think it's a very personal decision.

I think you can discipline children in a lot of other ways than spanking. I know my sister in law has never spanked any of her children(she has 5 under the age of 10), and they turned out as some of the best behaved kids I know.

If you children are raised properly from the beginning, as much as they will always be rully(SP??) because children are children, there shouldn't much that they do that is severe enough to require spanking. I think there is always a different way to take care of situation gone wrong than spanking.
 

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I hope you aren't saying that people who believe in spanking don't know how to properly raise their kids.
 

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I was never spanked, iive turned out fine, i love both my parents. as for the teenagers screaming at their parents for things like: you cant stay at a friends house tongiht' well, It only bugs me when parents dont have legite reasons, i have had my friends literally do NOTHING the whole weekend, but their parents wont let them go to a movie or something. My mom always lets me go to a movie or something, and she will adjust her schedule to drive me somewhere if i need it, which makes me feel bad, so i always make sure shes not doig anything or doesnt need to be somewhere, or isnt over-tired, but ive had friends that with get al ****ed at their parents for no real reason, which makes me think " wow, im glad i never argue with my parents" haha but i think im like this because my brother was sorta a 'bad' kid and so im the good kid, haha. but i think spanking is find, wouldnt call it abuse
 

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I think certain situations call for certain actions.
 

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I would think it is more mental. If they are scared of getting spanked they will mind. My aunt always got a leather strap off a saddle and snapped it making noise and scared us. We always believed that she would use it but never had to. You can mean business with out spanking but you can't threaten and not follow through.
 

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My step-dad and mom spanked me as a child. Not excessively and never with enough force to leave a mark but it got the point across fast as to what was acceptable and what was not.

My dad and step-mom never had to. My step mom had this look that would kind of steal your soul if you ever did anything wrong.

I'm ultra close with both sets of parents and I personally think I've turned out great.

I plan on spanking my children should the time come but I wouldn't depend on that as the only form of discipline.
 

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you can't threaten and not follow through.
Could someone make this a billboard? Because seriously I'm sick of hearing kids scream and squall because they want something and their parents threaten, and threaten and threaten until their blue in the face but by the child's reaction, they've never gone through with it do it doesn't even phase them.
 

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I grew up in a household that was willing to spank when necessary. My Dad spanked me once for lying and once for not feeding my dog. My Mom slapped me in the face once for talking back. My Grandma even made me get my own switch from the tree in her front yard once, then proceeded to beat me with it. I hated it then but I appreciate it now. I look at some of the people that I grew up with that never had discipline of any kind and it makes me glad that I have the family I do.

That being said, I don't think that spanking/not spanking is the only issue. It is just bad parenting in general that is creating the world we live in today. Parents who depend on tv and video games to babysit their kids. And small children watching shows like South Park and playing games like Zombie Massacre, Grand Theft Auto (where you get points for shooting cops), or whatever (I don't know much about video games but you guys get the idea). I'm not saying that the tv/v-games themselves are responsible but you combine a child growing up on things like that and a parent who is either not present or doesn't care enough to teach them that the things they see on tv are wrong, you end up with a teenager or adult that doesn't see anything wrong with theft. They look down the barrel of a gun and they just see a picture like the tv screen, they don't see a human. I worked in a prison for almost 6 years and I can tell you that the younger crop of criminals coming in are downright scary. They are willing to kill a person just for looking at them wrong and they feel absolutely no remorse for stealing or killing. Many of those that we got in where I worked came from the inner city of Houston, Austin, Dallas/Fort Worth, etc. They were surrounded by violence from every angle and their parents either didn't care enough to actually spend quality time with them or were working 4 jobs just to put food on the table. They were almost always alone and the family structure of a gang is very tempting. They offer money, security, and friendship and all you have to do is go rob this store or kill this rival. It is a vicious circle because society no longer allows anyone to actually punish a child for purposefully doing wrong. Even if the parents are not in the picture, the other adults simply turn their heads and ignore it instead of trying to make a difference. When I was growing up, the entire town had a standing order that if anyone saw me misbehaving, whoever was closest had the right to snatch me up and whip me.

I bet if the first time a man touched a child inappropriately, if the kid's whole family showed up at his house and beat the holy living **** out of him, he would think twice about looking at a kid again. But no, lets send them to prison where they get whatever they want and the guards have to be nice to them, they get free medical care and free education so that they can be smarter about doing it again after they are released from their 5 year sentence. And that's the thing, they will do it again. The state of Texas recitivism rate is more than 85% (that means that 85% of the people that get out of prison will be back inside within a year).

Most of us are part of a society that has become all too content with zero accountability: the offenders are not held accountable for their actions, the parents aren't held accountable for their children, the neighborhoods aren't held accountable for their own residents, and the government isn't held accountable for anything.

Wow, sorry for the big ol' long rant.
 

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My children get spanked if they put themselves or someone else in danger or if they are timed out for the same thing more than twice. I try my hardest not to spank. Usually I can just turn the mommy stare on them and whatever they are doing wrong stops. They know when I have to spank that means it's something serious. I haven't spanked my oldest (7) in years. He's gotten to the point where he knows better and if he doesn't then he gets his stuff taken away. He DOES NOT get the stuff back. I keep it and pass it down. That's how it is.

You can't win for losing. If you child acts up in the store people stare at you and give you dirty looks. If you put your child in a time out in the store you get looks. If you spank you get looks. So in order for me to get shopping done (because I was leaving every time one of the kids started a tantrum but now I have 4 so I'd be out of there in minutes, I'd never get anything done) I have to remember to ignore people's stares.

Trust me I get a lot of stares because I have one of those backpack "leash" things for my two year old because he is a runner. You'd think I was walking him around with a choke chain and a cattle prod.
 

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I was spanked and turned out fine. :shock: omg...
Taught me respect and put the "fear of getting spanked" in my head. I haven't been spanked in 5-6 years but I still remember almost every spanking that I did receive wether it was for lying,cursing or throwing a fit. etc

I was raised to respect and obey my parents. I never looked at spanking like I was being beaten and abused like some parents claim that spanking is. I also never had bruises from spanking, maybe a temporary red mark. But my parents never did smack me in my face. Thankfully
 
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