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Do you try to change things up while riding in the arena to prevent her from getting bored?

 

Since I started riding, I never expected to become fond of two things: "Thoroughbreds" and "mares". I have now some experience with three of those, one a tomboy, one a b*tch, one nervous and reluctant. I love riding all three. I think I have the perfect personality for those mares: I hate conflict, which is why I don't sweat the little stuff, and I hate being BS-ed, which is why I don't let them get away with that. The result is three mares that not only do as I ask them (sometimes after some encouragement, like passing a scary spot), but that also show me affection when I show up.

I don't give them Clinton Anderson Type-A leadership - "When I say jump, you ask, 'How high and when can I come down?'", but I still tell them where to go and how fast. Since I escalate slowly and use the least amount of pressure to get the job done, I don't overload them into throwing a (potentially dangerous) tantrum. Sometimes all I do to show "leadership" is use my leg to keep them in a straight line on a field when they want to meander; it can be very subtle.

To build trust, you have to know what you want her to do and communicate it to the horse clearly. It also helps to overcome challenging situations together. You can't be a passenger when you are out there!

If you pick a fight, you have to see it through to its conclusion, so you must only pick fights you can win. Otherwise, you'll desensitize her to your cues. It doesn't matter whether you are timid or not, that's just what's going to happen. If you tell her to speed up, you must hold her accountable for maintaining that speed until you decide on the next transition. But don't overdo it either: Always give her a chance to respond to the lightest cue, so she learns what the light cue means.

There are probably a lot of things I'm forgetting. I strongly suspect you may benefit from hands-on guidance on the ground. Do find a good instructor until you get an understanding of the basic principles, so you can generalize those and apply them to situations in which you are on your own with your horse. I do not think anything we can say here will suffice to make you successful.

 

What's the saying:

Negotiate with a mare, tell a gelding, ask a stallion - politely.


So far, our mare, Gina, is always willing to go and do and never gets rude with US. With others, especially Trigger if he tries to get his nose up her butt on the trail, she may fire off a shot across the bow, then pop someone with the old one hoof cow kick technique, but that's about the worst of it. She's had a few I don't wannna aaaa aaa *hear that like a fit throwing toddler* fits and some crow hopping, but nothing terribly scary.

Nope, Oop's mom though. Holy mother of god. We had to have some Coming to Jesus moments just to move out with her sometimes. Sweet, sweet, sweet on the ground, but she was the high horse and that extended to all of us.

And let me tell you OP - THEY KNOW when you're nervous, apprehensive, or flat out scared. I think ours even know when we're stressed or worried and trying to fake relaxation. I've been there, where you are, I'll be there again, but it's less and less as time goes by.

 

You need a trainer who will help you get control over your horse and teach you how to assert yourself. Your horse is simply doing whatever she feels like, and you are lucky -- she doesn't sound like a truly dominant horse, but just taking advantage the way any horse would in the absence of leadership.

I don't have a very good answer for you, because leadership is not about technique, it is about centeredness and resolve. Practice walking with your shoulders back and your chin high, like the world has to make way for you. If you feel uncomfortable and awkward doing that -- that is your challenge right there.

 

^^^This is worth repeating

 

She sounds like a good horse for a rider that isn't experienced. The ideal horse for a beginner is kick to go, and slows down by itself to a slower pace. If you ask for a running walk and she slows, keep asking. Kick, squeeze, click and tell her to keep going. Carry a crop if you need to.

I think you could benefit from some riding lessons. What i find is that a good rider can ride any horse regardless of how lazy the horse is. Many riders lack leg strength and the ability to push the horse forward with leg. You need to encourage her to move forward. She is bored with the arena because you are letting her get bored. Perhaps go to some clinics or lessons and just watch. See what other riders do to avoid boredom.

 

Yup @Avna has summed it up nicely, especially this

I don't have a very good answer for you, because leadership is not about technique, it is about centeredness and resolve. Practice walking with your shoulders back and your chin high, like the world has to make way for you. If you feel uncomfortable and awkward doing that -- that is your challenge right there.

The belief that you are the boss, and projecting that it comes from the core, did deep and believe.

 

Hello everyone,

I've owned my Walking Horse Sierra for four years now. She's been an angel: Sweet, happy, and very loving. But while she's gentle, she's also a very bossy mare. I don't mean aggressive, but I do mean, well, bossy.
I'm guessing she is an angel when you go along with HER program. That's a good start, but . . .
To elaborate, Sierra is calm under saddle, but she takes matters into her own hands...or hooves, if you like. In the arena, she performs everything in halves: I ask her to walk, she dawdles. that's a very easy place to focus on; getting her to walk out nicely. Expect it, and get it. Do NOT allow her to dawdle. If she is dawdling, then it means that you are ok with that. are you? I ask her to move into a flat-walk, she moves barely any faster. Running-walk? She does it for a few strides before returning to her meandering pace. She's obviously very bored, and she continues to get more bored as time goes on. Make yourself so interesting that she is not bored.

On the trail, she is far more lively and happy, but she still wants to do things 'her' way. She wants to take her own path, go at her own pace (often faster or slower than what I want), and if something spooks her, it's one thing if she stops due to a spook, but another if she attempts to bolt back to the barn. I feel that if she behaves this way, it means that she was NEVER ok about leaving the barn, even if she went along for a bit. she was literally waiting for the thing that would 'scare' her enough to give her a reason to whirl and head for home. she stops dead in her tracks before attempting to bolt back to the barn. And there isn't much hope in stopping her or calming her, either. can you not stop her? I mean, can you turn her into small circle? or a One Rein Stop? do you know how to do that?

As for myself, I am a very nervous person in general. I have never had a bad fall, and Sierra has never kicked, bitten, or otherwise intentionally hurt me. I am simply a timid person. This, I believe, is where our problem comes from. I am not a 'leader', and Sierra is compensating for this by taking charge. I'd be worried , too, if the horse I rode had a habit of turning to bolt for home!

Now, I have tried groundwork, but this hasn't worked for us. Sierra is usually perfectly behaved on the ground, and is willing to back up, turn, and lunge whenever she is asked. The only problems that occur are, again, when she decides she's bored with our work. She starts ignoring me, returning to the center when lunging, and even pulling me while I'm leading her. Again, she is well behaved because you are probably going along with HER program and not doing anything that puts her in a position where there is pressure or anything new, that might make her have to think about things a bit. You probably aren't pushing her into the place where she does react with fright, and so you aren't able to help her learn how to deal with it in ways that don't involve bolting.
I think that a trainer might be able to help with that. but, keeping her all happy and relaxed will not help her get past the place where she cannot deal with anxiety except by bolting.

So, to summarize, I believe our problems are grounded in our personalities and relationships with one another. I understand that horses need 'leaders', and I have failed (miserably, in some cases) to fill this position. I pity my poor patient mare. She's put up with a lot over the years (the dreaded green-rider pulling, kicking, and misunderstanding), and I fear that her 'misbehavior' may be due to my early mistakes.

Does anyone have any advice for a nervous rider who is trying to overcome fear and become a 'leader' for her bossy mare? What if she starts acting out against my attempts to 'take charge'? Is there anything I can do to build our trust?

my comments above in red.

First of all, don't be too down on yourself. If no one has ever taught you how to project authority, then you won't just 'know ' how to do it, like breathing. It's something you sort of learn by emulating another person, who has experience and that kind of authority that horses recognize.
So, blaming yourself for not knowing it is not going to help at all.


and, most of us, well . .. . all of us, have a level of authority that will be surpassed by someone else. We have limits, so we have to learn to work within those.

I try very hard not to push a horse into the place where he/she will buck, 'cause I'm no bronc rider. So, I work in smaller increments, and try to keep a horse busy and avoid going to all out war (I will lose). But, If I can get them believing my authority from the beginning (when you start asking her to just walk, and you insist she walk out energetically), then whatever follows is usually easier.

I guess that's where I'd start. with the walk. you'll have to change her idea of what is 'right', though. get on, ask for a walk and if she dawdles, smack her! right away, so it has a bit of the surprise, wake up factor. use this to your advantage.

 

You bave the perfect mare for your personality.
She’s not dangerous, she just gets gently bored. Ideal.

I was in the same situation. I fixed it in the arena.

For me, once I resolved to fix it, it was fixed easily. Very simple: transitions between gaits. You have to ride every single step and start off by changing gait every few meters. In the beginning I kept the rides short, 20 minutes, because the rider gets tired when actually riding all the time.

This was my lesson plan:

- warm up with walk in hand (to avoid any dawdling in the saddle)
- mount, take up contact, walk down the short side of the arena, trott half the long side, walk the rest, canter down the short side...for 20 minutes. You don’t have to canter all the time but make it very unpredictable.
- Do changes often, but avoid “small” changes in the beginning of the lesson, do diagonals and increase tempo during the change. A “lazy” horse uses “small” changes to slow down.
- Throw in some ground poles and tiny jumps if you can. Don’t make it predictable.
- tiny, 30 second breaks every 5 minutes.
- Do not ask for any bend before the horse is moving forward energetically. This is very important because a “lazy” horse will use bending as an avoidance and try to over-bend and throw shoulders out.
- dismount and cool down in hand - again, to avoid dawdling.

Your horse will start responding within minutes but you have to keep riding throughout and insist on the transitions exactly when and where you want them. Once you ask for something, insist on it until you get it.

This way avoids conflict so you don’t need too much confidence to pull it off.

 

Thank you everyone,
I've been looking to find a trainer, though I know that won't do any good if I can't put on my big-girl boots. That'll be something I have to work at on my own.
@ChestnutPony4Life & Horsef, that is something I will definitely look into. I feel like it would also be something to bring up with my trainer when I find one.