[Selaya]

Man oh man, is it hard.

I'm not sure of the terminology of what I'm looking for, however. In short, I'm looking for someone who will go on rides together with me (I have two horses and one pony, and one of them is really lazy at ponying) during the year, or carriage rides. And just walks with the shetlander if he/she wants to as he's always super excited to go out. He thinks ponying is the bomb. I'd always be there throughout the year though, so I'm not looking for someone who'll go "Oh I'm getting my own horse, for like, free!".
The person I'm looking for doesn't have to pay me anything at all since it'll always be in my company, unless it's during exams, then I'd love for them to maybe take over if they can. A day a week, maybe two. Whatever they could give, really. I'd still pay everything for my horses, and the only thing I'd ask for care is a brush before riding and untangling their mane. In exams, maybe feeding if they have enough time, otherwise I wouldn't mind doing it. They're on the pasture anyway, but they do get vitamin supplements.

Apparently, there are a lot of stumbling blocks here. One is that I do endurance with them, and so they need to be out and about. They're absolutely **** viceless. No rearing, bucking, no pigrooting and no freaking out. I always get compliments on my horses because they're just the sweetest and calmest ones out here, and I've been asked before if I happened to give them any chill pills.

The biggest problem so far is that no one, and I swear to god no one, except my best friend, can let go of the darn reins! They can be ridden bit or bitless. I'm lazy, however, so I always ride bitless when on training rides. I don't mind if they so want to put a bit in, so long as it's a normal bit to my choosing (preferably a straight one, I've noticed that my mare goes best with that in dressage). They do dressage as well, to keep them balanced.

But I mean.... really? Is it always this hard to find normal people? Each time so far, I'd had to fix my horse afterwards, because they were so inconsistent while giving aids and they would not let go of the reins, keeping them tight, which meant I had to also fix the back-up, because they wore out my back-up. Is it so hard to just let the reins go for even a minute? There can't all be control freaks out there...

To top it off, I've had riders promising me to go on rides of at least 20-30 km during the exams (they had none), and I heard from the neighbours that all they did was go riding, then return after half an hour with barely any sweat on my horses. Horses don't do 20 km in half an hour.

I'm just so sick of this, but I do need people to ride my other horse so he gets excercise as well....

 

[RockyMountainBaroque]

Not trying to be rude, but if you NEED to have a person to ensure the wellbeing of your stock maybe you ought to consider selling one? It doesn't sound like you're asking for much, but maybe they're just not "into it" like you are hence why they don't actually have a horse of their own.

 

[mmshiro]

It's that darn arena riding, and that philosophy that you must tell the horse how to keep its head, and where to put its feet, at all times. Did you ever see anyone go to the arena for a relaxing ride? People who are not used to going out don't know any better.

I look for excuses to give my horse more rein - which she earns through keeping speed. On the way home, once she's sweaty, she usually rides on the buckle. On the flip side, I can also anticipate where she'll probably want to speed up, so I can collect my reins in time.

So, all this to say that your only problem is to live in Belgium rather than New England. Your horses sound like a blast.

 

[farmpony84]

Not trying to be rude, but if you NEED to have a person to ensure the wellbeing of your stock maybe you ought to consider selling one? It doesn't sound like you're asking for much, but maybe they're just not "into it" like you are hence why they don't actually have a horse of their own.

I have six horses. It's more than I need but I choose not to sell for various reasons. (i.e. previous injuries, navicular, mild behavioral issues) I do not want to worry about the care my horses receive if I were to let them go. That being said. I agree, it is nearly impossible to find good riders. I went through some really miserable experiences before I found my current girls. A lot of people feel they are more experienced than they are, or they disagree with your way of doing things (which - they don't get that option when they are riding someone else's horses), or they are users. Lots of users out there. I think it took me a year before I found my "forever girls". They were in middle school when they started riding for me. One is in college and one is graduated now. The good ones are out their, just keep looking.

 

[bsms]

...Did you ever see anyone go to the arena for a relaxing ride? People who are not used to going out don't know any better...

Actually...yes. I do so, frequently. As does my daughter. Hope to in a few minutes, with Bandit. It will be my first time on him in nearly two weeks after he got a gash in his front leg. With Mia, Trooper & my daughter:

​

In fact, my daughter might take the relaxing part a bit further than I would like...:icon_rolleyes:

But yes, I find it hard to find someone to go ride with who I trust to be good with my horses.
​

 

[phantomhorse13]

Do you have any trail riding groups local to you? I agree with @mmshiro that someone used to riding in an arena is likely going to have some discipline shock riding your endurance horses on conditioning rides. Someone who already enjoys trail riding may be more willing/able to step up in distance traveled with yours horses, and may be more comfortable riding on a loose rein.

Wish you were closer, as I love being out conditioning!

 

[Woodhaven]

I know how hard it is to find someone to ride with you that will blend in with your style of riding.
I had two very good horses and had to ride each one individually ( or pony one, I did that often over the years) and to find someone who could ride well enough to come out with me or even school and prepare for showing was very difficult.
Some people who could ride would be very enthusiastic but also very undependable.

I just ended up riding alone most of the time but I didn't mind it so I guess it worked for me.

good luck on your search.

 

[DanteDressageNerd]

It can be difficult. Even as a dressage rider, there are a lot of dressage riders I'd never let sit on any of my horses (mine are pretty sensitive or quirky), several of them FEI trainers because they have no feel or empathy they're about control and not communication or partnership. I know of one whose ruined multiple horses, like horses I knew as 3-4yr olds and were perfect and went to her and came back fearful of everything and everyone. One you couldn't even get on or off of from the mounting block and I have NO idea what she did to traumatize him. Some just haul on the horse's mouth and are terribly unfair because they lack feel and skill but it's not just in dressage, you have bad eggs EVERYWHERE in every discipline. The harshest treatment Ive seen was actually at a western pleasure barn but I dont think most wp people are like that. In dressage the rein connection is supposed to be for communication and suppling, not for pulling and grabbing (our gives are meant to be less noticeable and in the fingers but some just take on the mouth ineffectively and without giving).The horse reins are so we have less gray area in our aids for half pass, shoulder in, haunches in, canter piroettes, etc it's for fine tuning but a lot of riders use it as a crutch to brace against. It drives me crazy too, every discipline has their bad eggs. The horses are supposed to meet the connection and be on the riders aids, not held down which is what I see a lot at shows:neutral: People see short reins and without understanding or feeling think we just have insane pressure and use it for control, it's supposed to be about fine tuned communication. Collection comes from the seat and leg. I can ride almost all of mine one handed and the'll still be on the aids or on a draped rein. It's not meant to be crutch or to be held onto for dear life or for micromanaging but to ride on the shorter rein requires more fine tuning and a lot of riders don't have that feel. A competent dressage rider should be able to ride their horse on a long rein and keep the rhythm, cadence, balance, throughness and connection but a lot can't even do that which is honestly something you're supposed to be able to do in the early stages. That said I hope you can find a rider who you feel confident in and enjoy riding with. Just saying you're not alone, heck even finding good trainers, let alone riders can be INCREDIBLY difficult. But just finding RELIABLE, good people who are fair but also do as they promise is HARD to find. A lot of people are all talk.

That said I don't know a lot about endurance riding, growing up on the west coast I rode up and down mountains (I was an eventer, it was for conditioning and fun) and there was a trail I went on that started thousands of feet up and went down to the beach (I think this was Florence, OR), some really narrow roads where if we moved side ways we would cascade down the mountain but we didn't ride on a draped rein. Not short but not dropped for safety purposes, especially on the close trails. Plus quite a few wild animals in the forests like cougars, bears, coyotes, etc. But I'm sure you'll be able to find someone whose happy to hack out for 20-30km to help condition your horses. Are there any eventers in your area?

 

[WhattaTroublemaker]

I wish I was close to you! I would LOVE to go riding with you. I ride mostly on a loose rein, and when I was in lessons, my biggest problem that I kept getting yelled at for was not keeping my reins tight enough :lol: "not enough contact... STILL not enough contact!" That was what I heard all day. I learned to ride on a loose rein, only tightening when I had to.

That would be a wonderful opportunity for me, and I wish I had someone around me offering this opportunity! I don't trust anyone on my horse, so I feel for you. I've had to fix quite a few issues that other riders have created.

 

[knightrider]

For most of my adult life, I have sought out other riders to ride with me. I have had good luck starting with children. I recruit neighbors, horse crazy kids in my school (I used to teach school), my children's friends, kids from church. Kids are better to start out with because you can be pretty firm with them about what you will and will not allow, and by the time they are teenagers, they are trained. I lose over half of them when they turn about 15, but that's OK. That's life. I've had an awful lot of fun putting kids and horses together over the years.

I found two marvelous riders at different times going to horseshows and asking instructors who had talented students that didn't own their own horses. I once recruited a fun elderly man who rode with me for years when I brought my TV for repairs. My husband's co-worker's wife rode with me for about 4 years--she was a great riding companion until they moved away. If you belong to any clubs, you hear about people who know how to ride but don't have a horse. My kids' homeschool group netted me a skilled mom who didn't have time or money for a horse.

One thing I've never done is advertised. It's always word of mouth. My daughter is 15 now, and I have more kids who would love to come riding than I can accommodate right now. I am currently teaching our two next door neighbor girls how to ride in hopes that as they get older, they will actually be a help. All the people over the years have not always worked out. I've had some flops from time to time. If you start with younger children, it is quite an investment of time and energy, but it is so worth it in the end, I believe. Of course, you have to like kids and like being with kids. I've had fun sharing my horses with about 10 adults in my lifetime, not nearly so many as kids, but they are out there too. Keep your ears open and your mind open. Good luck!!!

 

[tinyliny]

I'm probably that awful rider you have experienced.

Some people who insist on riding with a loose rein have horses that have no respect for the rein, and only appear to be soft to the rein because the rider never really ASKS the horse to accept it. As soon as the rider asks for horse to slow down, the horse will brace up hard against the rein.

I won't ride a horse on a loose rein if the horse won't respect a whoa or a turn signal that I ask through the rein. I mean, if I ask something with a respectful and soft rein, I want the horse to respect that. I won't just let it blaaaaah heavy on that rein and ignore me. when I ask it to slow down I don't want a tug of war, where it leans on the rein and I HAVE to get very hard for it to actually slow down. I won't just let it brace hard against me if I ask it to turn. A horse has to EARN a loose rein. Sometimes that means that I need to take up a firm rein until that horse starts to give and respect a light rein. then he 'earns' for himself that loose rein.

If someone wants me to just not have my reins do or mean anything, then they are asking me to just be a blank passenger on top of a hrose that I feel I have no real control over. That is not a ride I would enjoy.

 

[boots]

I know many good riders who keep horses in shape for competition.

They are exercise riders. Polo. Competitive roping. Cutting. Endurance racing. H/J and cross country. Fox hunting. I've done all of those in addition to flat racing and jump racers.

They get paid. They get paid well.

They are professionals.

 

[Kaifyre]

Oh boy. As I read the OP's post I pictured someone riding Dreams for me .... my initial knee-jerk reaction was to literally cringe. Lol I think one of the most awesome things about riding horses is that there's a million and one different ways to do it ... as long as the horse is comfortable and enjoying himself I don't think any of them are wrong. But nope, you can't ride my horse. You can't either. Or you. Or you over there.

I'm a western rider, so I ride on a completely loose rein. Like, the slack drapes down past the point of Dreams' shoulder in most cases. I ride mostly off of my legs and seat, with the occasional verbal cue or neck rein thrown in, but when I pick up on the reins I want him to soften and give to that pressure. I can ask Dreams to lope and he'll slide into a nice relaxed rhythmic lope, and he won't build speed or try to dart off to one side or slow down ... he will lope. Ears up, looking with interest at the things up ahead, but it is controlled. Of course most people have light contact at least part of the time, and I spent 4 months working on getting Dreams soft in the mouth (he was quite stiff and heavy in the beginning) that the thought of someone riding him with heavy hands or too much contact and potentially undoing all of my hard work just makes me cringe internally.

BUT I bought Dreams for me. I have spent a lot of time turning him into a nice trail horse that is soft and will maintain a particular gait without having to be micromanaged, but who responds to the slightest leg aid when asked and will soften his face when asked. Perhaps I'm anal ... perhaps I have a hard time trusting anyone with a creature I've worked so hard to train ... maybe I'm just a witch with a capitol B lol ... but I understand how it can be difficult to find someone who can ride your horse the way YOU do. I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable having someone else ride Dreams. Especially when I wasn't there.

-- Kai

 

[Selaya]

Oh boy. As I read the OP's post I pictured someone riding Dreams for me .... my initial knee-jerk reaction was to literally cringe. Lol I think one of the most awesome things about riding horses is that there's a million and one different ways to do it ... as long as the horse is comfortable and enjoying himself I don't think any of them are wrong. But nope, you can't ride my horse. You can't either. Or you. Or you over there.

I'm a western rider, so I ride on a completely loose rein. Like, the slack drapes down past the point of Dreams' shoulder in most cases. I ride mostly off of my legs and seat, with the occasional verbal cue or neck rein thrown in, but when I pick up on the reins I want him to soften and give to that pressure. I can ask Dreams to lope and he'll slide into a nice relaxed rhythmic lope, and he won't build speed or try to dart off to one side or slow down ... he will lope. Ears up, looking with interest at the things up ahead, but it is controlled. Of course most people have light contact at least part of the time, and I spent 4 months working on getting Dreams soft in the mouth (he was quite stiff and heavy in the beginning) that the thought of someone riding him with heavy hands or too much contact and potentially undoing all of my hard work just makes me cringe internally.

BUT I bought Dreams for me. I have spent a lot of time turning him into a nice trail horse that is soft and will maintain a particular gait without having to be micromanaged, but who responds to the slightest leg aid when asked and will soften his face when asked. Perhaps I'm anal ... perhaps I have a hard time trusting anyone with a creature I've worked so hard to train ... maybe I'm just a witch with a capitol B lol ... but I understand how it can be difficult to find someone who can ride your horse the way YOU do. I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable having someone else ride Dreams. Especially when I wasn't there.

-- Kai

Completely, that's what I mean! Yeah, I've never been into someone else taking over as well.... I was never interested in having two big horses. The gelding came, however, because I don't have to pay anything to board my horses in the pasture there so long as I keep his horse happy as well. The owner's a happy, older man, but simply doesn't have the time anymore.

I don't mind, I just see them as a big bunch of rowdy kids, but to keep them conditioned, It's easier to get help.

I mean, people call me a witch around here because I don't want the "penny" girls... I don't want them thinking they own my horse, because they most certainly don't. But these kinds of girls just get so attached that it's impossible to get rid of them, and the feed them candy, and pfft. They're too fat as it is.

I'm probably that awful rider you have experienced.

Some people who insist on riding with a loose rein have horses that have no respect for the rein, and only appear to be soft to the rein because the rider never really ASKS the horse to accept it. As soon as the rider asks for horse to slow down, the horse will brace up hard against the rein.

I won't ride a horse on a loose rein if the horse won't respect a whoa or a turn signal that I ask through the rein. I mean, if I ask something with a respectful and soft rein, I want the horse to respect that. I won't just let it blaaaaah heavy on that rein and ignore me. when I ask it to slow down I don't want a tug of war, where it leans on the rein and I HAVE to get very hard for it to actually slow down. I won't just let it brace hard against me if I ask it to turn. A horse has to EARN a loose rein. Sometimes that means that I need to take up a firm rein until that horse starts to give and respect a light rein. then he 'earns' for himself that loose rein.

If someone wants me to just not have my reins do or mean anything, then they are asking me to just be a blank passenger on top of a hrose that I feel I have no real control over. That is not a ride I would enjoy.

I understand where you're coming from. The thing is though that I can assure you that these horses are hardened trail horses and I taught them with the goal in mind to be able to ride all gaits with voice commands or leg aids to speed up (they respond to both) and to slow down off your seat. There's even an emergency stop included that means if you say anything with an "oh" in a low voice, the brakes go on and they almost perform a sliding stop as good as they can. Especially my mare loves taking that to the extremes, and sometimes people are just surprised with how quickly she responds. Words that sound like "ho" to them include and are not limited to - "Dude", "Oh no", "Ooooooh", "Ookay",....

The official word is ho, however. :lol:

They respond to neck reining (hence completely loose reins), to shifting in weight, and to direct rein on one hand. I prefer to start out with a loose rein instead of them "earning" it. They need to be able to do it in my opinion, or they aren't as safe as people say they are. They need to be able to control themselves that way. I'm not a passenger on my horse, I just taught them to handle the world as it comes instead of freaking out at every turn.

They also know contact, but it always means something. For example, if I ever reach down and touch the contact, I want them to accept it softly, and I'll give when they give me what I want. If I touch the contact for more than a second when we're riding without asking them to go on and supporting with my leg, I want them to back up, fast. So they do.

Thing is, if the person riding isn't used to horses that respond to pretty much everything, they stomp out their sensitivity. They wear out the rein aid if they keep riding at full contact through a 30 km ride.

______

The children suggestion is a good one! It's true that it gets a little better when they're younger or less experienced sometimes. I have a girl that just loves going around with me, but she can't stay away from home so long yet. She's also very sore after about 15 km, so I don't want her to overdo herself. It's a sport like any other!

It's awesome that there are so many people wanting to go with me! I'm having a bit of trouble indeed over here, but then again, our endurance folk mostly keep to themselves, which I find quite sad. Maybe putting up a post in the organization?

Thanks everyone!

 

[gottatrot]

I know exactly what you mean, but don't give up, hopefully you'll get lucky and find someone.
Many of us keep a second horse we want to keep conditioned, but don't have the time to get the miles in on both. Plus my mares loved going out together.

I've had three riders over the past few years that I got lucky and found. The first was a fifteen year old neighbor of my parents. My mom talked to her mom and found out she was "horse crazy" and wished she could ride. She'd had many lessons, and been out on trails. So I gave her a try and she was super sweet, directable and able to come along on my second horse just fine. Her mom would even drop her off way out at the barn so I didn't have to pick her up. Eventually she got her driver's license and drove herself out. She came out once a week with me for several years.

After I lost her to college, my sister had a co-worker she told me was "horse crazy." This gal was in her mid-twenties, a former pony club member, jumper and had an older, unsound horse so was without a ride. She was great also, and both of these riders were sensitive about not pulling on the bit because the mare they rode is very claustrophobic. She rode with me about two years before moving.

Then I heard of a co-worker looking for a horse to lease. So I told her I had an extra horse she could come and ride if she wanted to go out with me. Unfortunately, she was only able to ride with me for several months before my second horse had to be retired. But now she is buying her own horse, so we can still hopefully ride together.

I'd say to put feelers out around your work, family and friends, hopefully someone who is horseless but experienced will show up for you too. I always felt like it was win/win, they got to ride for free and I got my horse exercised.