Glad to see you have a journal to document your journey. I imagine it's very hard to get back into riding and start progressing on a journey. But we all have bad days and days where we're mentally not 100% I'll say yoga and meditation help a lot and being mindful of your breathing. Deep breaths. Quite a few horses react very badly to tension in the chest, it's sort of interesting but being mindful of opening your chest, focusing on your breathing through the worst of your mind and pushing it out is helpful in all aspects. Or compartmentalizing when I'm on the horse, this is where I am, when I'm off the horse that's where I am. Hard I know, all of us do it but don't be too hard on yourself. It happens.