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(I'll start by saying I'm sorry for my english, it's not really my main language haha)

Hello! I'm a 14 year old girl. I've never worked with horses, had one or have ridden one, but I have been learning about them and wanting riding lessons for a few years now. But around a few months/weeks my uncle, a horse person, convinced my dad to buy me a green, unbroken, 2 y/o filly (bad idea, I know). My dad isn't really a horse person either.

The first few days she was kind of shy around us, but eventually she trusted me more and more. I was the one who did all the care stuff for her. Then she would follow me around and everything was good and I thought I had a pretty good bond with her.

A few weeks later, I was next to her just fine, and when my dad walked up to her, she tried to kick him. And then another family member told us he had tried to pet her and she pinned her ears and tried to bite. She pinned her ears whenever my dad got too close, and she did the same with my mom. I was the only one who could pet her and be close/around her and nothing would happen. Whenever my uncle got in between me and her, she would try to kick him or pin her ears at him.

More time passes, I'm the one who did everything, my dad and my mom didn't want to see her so I used to go alone and feed her, groom her, ect. Until one afternoon she was following me around, but she pinned her ears and tried to bite me. I turned around and she gave me her back and tried to kick. I was thinking about selling her, all day and night. We decided to keep her and soon getting her trained. My uncle told me to keep her, and that she wouldn't try to hurt me.

Everything good, I kept her for a while. But then yesterday, I walked up to her and she pinned her ears at me. I left. I took her out in the afternoon for grooming. Everything was going well, she was relaxed, I was almost done. When I groomed her on the neck she pinned her ears and tried to bite my arm.

I love her, but Im thinking about selling her because I dont want me or anyone getting hurt, or her being put down. I talked with my parents about getting riding lessons & selling her to someone who is more experienced and can manage and care for her. It breaks my heart because I love her, I really do, but its the best for her. I feel terrible for my dad too, he hasn't been getting sleep & has been feeling incredibly guilty.

I just wanted to get this off my mind and I would love to know from anyone who has advice.
 

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I think that you already know the answer but would like to hear someone else say it. I apologize in advance because this post is going to be rather blunt, possibly borderline rude. I do not mean for it to be that way, but I am passionate about horses, as are you. The situation that you are in is a dangerous one, no doubt. I would hate for you to get hurt (an event that can kill a great, life-long passion) or worse. I would also hate for this filly to get put down for simply acting like a horse. This is not a good situation, for both parties.

I've never worked with horses, had one or have ridden one, but I have been learning about them and wanting riding lessons for a few years now. But around a few months/weeks my uncle, a horse person, convinced my dad to buy me a green, unbroken, 2 y/o filly (bad idea, I know). My dad isn't really a horse person either.
Correct.

The first few days she was kind of shy around us, but eventually she trusted me more and more. I was the one who did all the care stuff for her. Then she would follow me around and everything was good and I thought I had a pretty good bond with her.
While it is good that she became more trusting around you, horses do not think in terms of "care". Horses do not care that you care for them. Horses care whether you are higher or lower.

A few weeks later, I was next to her just fine, and when my dad walked up to her, she tried to kick him. And then another family member told us he had tried to pet her and she pinned her ears and tried to bite. She pinned her ears whenever my dad got too close, and she did the same with my mom.

Everything good, I kept her for a while. But then yesterday, I walked up to her and she pinned her ears at me. I left. I took her out in the afternoon for grooming. Everything was going well, she was relaxed, I was almost done. When I groomed her on the neck she pinned her ears and tried to bite my arm.
If she got release for ear pinning, biting, or kicking, she learns that that is the right answer. Horses do best what they do most. The longer she gets away with those behaviors, the more likely they will turn into habits - habits that will be hard to break.

Whenever my uncle got in between me and her, she would try to kick him or pin her ears at him.
That's not good, affectionate, "I love you" behavior; that is bad, possessive, "I own you" behavior.

Until one afternoon she was following me around, but she pinned her ears and tried to bite me. I turned around and she gave me her back and tried to kick. I was thinking about selling her, all day and night. We decided to keep her and soon getting her trained. My uncle told me to keep her, and that she wouldn't try to hurt me.
Horses are horses. That is the only thing they know how to be, and that is only way they know how to communicate. Whether or not horses think in terms of "I want to hurt someone" is debatable, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that they can hurt someone, especially the inexperienced.
Again, horses do best what they do most. Horses are (usually) a refection of how they are treated. Broke horses usually don't stay dead-broke with inexperienced people. Yes, she needs training, but so do you, as well as your family, if they intend to interact with horses.

I love her, but Im thinking about selling her because I dont want me or anyone getting hurt, or her being put down. I talked with my parents about getting riding lessons & selling her to someone who is more experienced and can manage and care for her. It breaks my heart because I love her, I really do, but its the best for her. I feel terrible for my dad too, he hasn't been getting sleep & has been feeling incredibly guilty.
Again, I think you already know what must be done. Unfortunately, you cannot love a horse into being a well-trained, safe, trustworthy companion, which is the type of horse an inexperienced person needs. I think it would be best to sell her and take lessons on a well-trained horse.

Best of luck.
Please stay safe and keep us updated.
 

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If you cannot work with this horse under the supervision of an experienced adult ALL THE TIME, then you are better off selling her before you get hurt and she becomes any more spoiled. She is not a bad horse, she is simply treating you as she would another horse she is bossing around. This is not how a horse should behave around people, but you are not experienced enough to teach her otherwise. Her behavior will only get worse if it is not corrected.

It is very good of you to be thinking of what is best for her, not just how much you love her. I hope you are able to find her a home with experienced people who have the skills to train her properly.
 

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I would agree that you should sell her. YOur uncle put you in a difficult position by giving you such a green horse. Thats just makes it practically impossible for you to have success on your own. Even if you get THIS bad behavior under control, there will be many, many more challenges along the way that a green newbie horse owner, on her own, will find indimidating and dangerous.


Get a different horse, or tell your uncle he must come and train this mare.
 

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Yes, you are a very mature, intelligent young person and have already figured out that it would make a lot more sense for you to sell this horse and invest in lots of riding lessons for yourself instead.

For one, a two year old should not be ridden for a long time yet. If you want to ride, this is not the right horse for you. Secondly, if she does not acquire some manners very soon, she will only become more dangerous, and someone could get seriously hurt. It is a lot harder to fix an older horse with bad habits than create good habits from the start so she would be at risk of getting put down later in life for her bad behavior. Training a horse requires a very experienced person. You have already recognized you are not that person. You must convince your parents that this horse is not appropriate for you, hard as it may be.

Good luck. I know it's hard to sell a beloved horse, I'm doing that myself right now, but sometimes it's the best thing for everyone.
 

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This sounds fixable with training (you, your family and horse) but even if yall paid for training. I don't think a green rider should be riding a green horse, especially without help.

From someone whose mom stuck them on a green 2 yo horse as a green rider. I definitely had some rough times and my horse was an angel, no mean bones just a spooky mess. I didn't enjoy riding that horse until she was 5.
 

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Well, I guess congratulations on being the most mature person in your family - at least regarding this situation.

Yes, sell her. This is nothing but trouble, both for people and the horse. As stated previously, the horse is only being a horse, she isn’t being bad. But if she gets set in her ways, she doesn’t have the best future. Sell her to someone more experienced, and sell her very soon.
 
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