[dreamrideredc]

Hi guys, hope you're ready for my rant...here it goes:

I have been so irritated lightly! I go to the barn to have fun and be happy, right? Well, you would think so. The people at my barn (well the people my age anyway) are horrid. They beat their horses around, don't want to do anything nice with them, and don't want anything to do with me, at least that's how it seems. Apparently, there is NOBODY at my barn who believes in bonding with their horse. My fav quote from one of my "friends" is "horses don't have reasoning, so they won't catch on that everytime they get tacked up they have to work." This was stated after I said something along the lines of, "I just want to have fun, I don't want him to associate me with work." I don't care if horses don't have reasoning, regardless, they don't want to work everytime. All anyone cares about is winning a pretty ribbon at the show so they can brag.

Aside from the nauseating people, the past couple rides have been HORRBILE! I have gotten so easily mad, and have become one of "them." I have been getting upset and take it out on my horse, then break down afterwards for being so mean. Ugh! I am so sick of arena work. Round and round the ring, collection, oh, shoulders back. I'm not saying I don't like English, I'm just saying it would be nice if we could go crazy and have a fun relaxing trail ride. A trail ride is definitely in our future, perhaps spring break :wink:

I have two fears with my frustration: 1) I am damaging my horse's mouth in the event of pulling, although he only uses a d-ring snaffle and I'm not totally yanking on his mouth. But my point is, I need to stop. 2) I have an "irrational" fear that I'm wrecking our bond. My mom says I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help it, he means the world to me. After every ride I always end up grooming him til he glistens, I give him extra extra treats, and give him many hugs, kisses, and scratches. Oh, and of course apologize.

This irritation is not a routine, just something that happens occasionaly. My horse is a saint, I'll tell you that. It's a good thing he's cute, because when I get mad at him for a reason, he stares at me and I melt He has a certain power :wink:

After all of this, cookies by the way if you got through this, if and when you get these horsey break downs what you do to get over them. I'm thinking trail ride, bath, and major grazing time. I don't need my fellow horse forumers yelling at me, but giving me input.

Soo, my questions for you are, what do you guys do to relax and make it up to your horse and just have fun? And, medical related question here, is there any obvious signs as to if your horse's mouth is damaged? I'm pretty sure I'm over-reacting, but either way it would be useful. Keep in mind this is not something that happens regularly, and it's no where near as hard as you are thinking.

Thanks! =]

 

[ridergirl23]

This post made me shudder... when i got my first horse, who was and still is a saint and im so glad hes with a nice family i used to get frusterated because he didnt know how to collect or anything like the other horses at the barn (my mom wanted me to train my own dressage horse, it taught me a LOT!) I still remember how i would get frusterated and just yank on his mouth. One day i saw my friend doing it and a broke down and started crying, i realized what i was doing and never NEVER did it again.
I wanted to slit my wrists after i realized what i was doing! my poor horse! haha i couldnt look him in the eye for a least a week i felt so bad.
I think its great youve at least realized what your doing, one of my favourite qoutes ever is: "only two emotions belong in the saddle: happyness and a good sense of humour!" i cant remember where i heard it.
Dont take riding so seriously! i have a compotition this weekend and i couldnt even get rena to canter to the right... haha my instructor told me to laugh, then ask for the canter,I laughed smiled a bit, took the pressure off, and guess what? i got the best canter transition ive ever had -_- haha stupid horse, making me riding correctly.... pfffffffffft. lol
just relax and laugh when it goes wrong, It makes riding more enjoyable when you take all the pressure off! haha sorry, im rambling on.... haha this has just been the most sensitive topic for me ever since i figured out that i was yanking on my horses mouth

 

[charlicata]

I didn't like the way the horses were being treated by their riders at the barn I used to work with. I didn't like all the training "tools" used on them. When I left that place, I rode english for a couple more years. Not showing or anything, just sticking with the saddle I had. Now, I am so relaxed when I ride. If I don't start out that way, it doesn't take me long to get that way. All I do now is trail ride western. No pressure what-so-ever.

I agree with ridergirl. It's good that you realized what you're doing. Now you can work on dealing with it properly. I don't take things out on Rosie, she just has that loveable disposition...along with the big innocent eyes. I can be PO'd beyond belief. I go to the barn, and it's instant calming. I've actually started getting up earlier in the morning so that I can actually spend more time with her when I feed. I work with taxes and it tends to calm me down before I start my day dealing with all the numbers and the people they belong to.

Have you thought of trying to go out when there aren't many people there? It may help to not be around them when you do go to the barn. And I really don't agree with your "friend" at all. Horses can be and usually are very smart. I know the one's that I've owned myself associate certain things with working. The first saddlebred I owned knew that if the saddle was on the ground that he was going to be ridden...which made him harder to catch in a 10 acre field. On the other hand, if I went out there just to play, it would be more like a game of tag. He would run if I acted like I was going to catch him. If I turned around and started walking away though, he would come up behind me. If I still didn't look at him, he'd speed up and get right in front of me, stop and put his nose right in my face. It was as if he was saying, "I will not be ignored...you WILL acknowledge me!!" I'd pet him give him a hug, then the game was on again. With the last saddlebred, his idea of fun was running around the riding ring with husband. It was kind of comical seeing him running side by side with him with no lead rope at all.

Good luck, I hope things settle down and get better for you.

 

[Citrus]

I like handgrazing to bond with my horse.... just the two of us hanging out while he does his favorite thing- eat more. I also talk to my guy alot when on the ground. I find his favorite place to be rubbed and go to town, especially after a hard lesson/work out.

 

[HooverH]

Since Hoover can't be ridden anymore, we spent time grazing on a lead rope outside of the pasture (he thinks the grass is better). I spend a lot of time grooming and talking to him, we go for walks down the road to the end of the property. Sometimes I read to him. (We're reading Seabiscuit lol) I forgot! He loves massages, whether with a nubby rubber curry or my hands, so he gets those a lot too.

This summer I have a picnic planned, possibly more than once. He always loved the trail, so we're going to walk out to the first clearing. I'm packing some grain and special (like bermuda or orchard) hay for him, and a sandwich for me.

As for the bit, that's a one-to-one ratio...in other words, the exact amount of pressure you put on the reins is how much is going to his mouth. Shanks multiply the pressure through leverage. If he's still taking the bit fine, and not fussing having it in, I would think his mouth should be fine. If you're really worried, have a vet or an equine dentist check him out.

 

[dreamrideredc]

Ah thank God he's still taking the bit! He has NEVER fussed, and sometimes at the very least he will clench his teeth and have to poke your finger in, but most horses do that sometimes. This spring break we are going to chill. Neither one of us is having fun, so we might even trailer off the property for a trail ride.

I need to learn to control my frustration, but when everyone else around me is yelling things at me or getting mad too, it makes it WAY worse.

 

[ridergirl23]

i know how you feel, Oh goodness my instructor was great for me, she could always calm me down and keep me in a good mood, and when i have a mental breakdown she has more patience then an angel, im not sure its healthy for her to have that much patience.....
but she used to tell me to go back to a walk on a loose rein and think about how you could get what you want in a nicer way, I find it calms the horse down and lets me think about what im doing.

 

[Jessabel]

You sound a lot like me. When Vic misbehaved, it was almost always my fault and I would get so angry at myself that I would start taking it out on him. If that made sense... I would always brush him and spoil him afterward, though. It makes you feel like a huge jerk when you do that.

A good way to bond with your horse is to just take a whole day once in a while and devote it to things your horse likes to do. Grooming, hand grazing, going for a roll in the arena. I also like to sit in the pasture with him and he'll usually come over and graze next to me. I don't think you'll ruin your relationship with your horse. They usually forgive you after a few cookies and scratches.

 

[dreamrideredc]

Jessabel, thank you so much for your words, they made me feel a lot better! I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I think it's human nature, just some deal with it better than others. I noticed I start getting frustrated if I ask him to do something like slow down and he doesn't listen after a few tries, so I end up pulling. I have been beating myself up about this ALL DAY on the verge of tears. He is such a sweetie, I never do this intentionally, it's almost like some monster is taking me over. I ALWAYS regret it after!

 

[HooverH]

My instructor always told me horses don't hold grudges.

 

[justsambam08]

My instructor always told me horses don't hold grudges.

While I don't believe they hold grudges, they do remember past experiences. They may not get mad at you per se for yanking on their mouths, but they;ll remember that everytime they don't do something, they get smacked in the butt with a crop.

 

[SaddleUp158]

I feel your pain. I am just coming out of a funk like you are in. What helps me most of the time is to go back to ground work, work the horse bitted up, lunging or long lining for several workouts. From my experience the horse typically performs better after ground work anyways so by the time I get back in the saddle, thing are better performance wise and with my own mentallity regarding riding. Sometimes just getting on your horse bareback and playing, even if it is in the arena, helps.