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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Recently someone took a picture of my pony and I taking off long from a jump where I lost my eq. and posted it on Tumblr saying I 100% shouldn't be allowed to jump or even ride. My pony's ears were back (they're always back when being jumped, it's just her, she's had everything checked, no saddle pains perfectly okay) and they said I abused my poor horse and that I force her to take terrible and long distances and I ride dangerously and put myself and my pony at risk. They said that my eq. was dangerous and that I flail around at jumps all the time and can't be defended for hurting my horse.
All of this is not true of course. It was a bad jump and I lost my eq. over it. You won't look perfect over every single jump and she took the worst picture ever taken where I obviously didn't have a great jump and posted it on a public website.(I know the girl, she's 25, I'm 16) I don't abuse my horse, I love her to death. She's green and tends to want to take the long distances on her own. I would never ride her dangerously or put her at risk.
I don't know what to do. I got so much hurtful hate and I'm already pretty insecure. The stuff wasn't true, but I have no way to tell the 80+ people who commented it's not. I just feel like such a terrible rider.
 

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Social media is often used to hurt others and that is unfortunate. I would suggest blocking the people involved from all your sites and finding some new friends.

You could also try to get a good photographer to take some pictures of you riding your horse. A real photographer will take enough shots that you will be able to choose through the whole batch and find something that looks good.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Social media is often used to hurt others and that is unfortunate. I would suggest blocking the people involved from all your sites and finding some new friends.

You could also try to get a good photographer to take some pictures of you riding your horse. A real photographer will take enough shots that you will be able to choose through the whole batch and find something that looks good.
See, I have plenty of those but I don't put them out publicly. The girl got the pictures from my friend's Facebook. I've dealt with hate before, but not quite like this. It amazing how people think they can judge everything about you over one fail picture.
 

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We all have bad moments in our riding. At least those of us that actually ride do anyway. If you never got off balance, fell off, messed up a cue, or did anything else wrong with a horse, it is most likely because you never really rode.

I would ask the girl to take down the picture. If she won't, I would block her from my life. You don't need "friends" like that.
 

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I agree with Celeste. You know that you're treating your horse fairly and are not doing any of the things she's saying so don't let it bug you. If she doesn't stop block her and move on. People like that are just insecure imo.
 

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How well do you know this girl? If she rides at your barn then I would have a discussion with her, maybe with the barn owner present. Tell her that it's radically inappropriate, and that if she thinks you are treating your horse inappropriately then she should come and tell YOU, not try to receive validation from the internet.

I haven't ever seen any pictures of your riding, but there are folks out there that shouldn't be doing what they are doing with their horses- jumping too high for their skill level, riding incorrectly, etc. I've seen some pictures that made my jaw drop. I cannot comment on whether or not you're doing that, but it's absolutely inappropriate for someone to post a picture of a kid's riding (especially someone that she knows) for all of her friends to ridicule. ESPECIALLY since she's 25 and you're 16. She should know better- EVEN if she radically disagrees with your riding.

If you know any of the people that are commenting on the post, then I would contact them privately and explain the situation. I'd also ask your friend if she would avoid posting any less-than-flattering photos of you and your pony until this has been worked out. It shouldn't have to be that way- years ago I took a video of a friend of mine's pony refusing a jump. She lost her position, and it was pretty funny to watch. She went around to the jump again and looked perfect. Even years later we like watching and laughing at that video, but I'm sure she would be absolutely mortified if someone took a still shot from it and started picking apart her riding and said she was abusing her pony.

The damage has already been done, but one possible way to prevent it from happening again and get the picture taken down is if by posting it as her work on a public website, she was using someone else's photo without permission. If your friend makes a stink about that then it may encourage her to take the photo down, and make her think twice about posting something like that again.
 

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The best way to deal with DRAMA is to ignore it.
You do not have to defend yourself and contacting other people only keeps the drama current.
Your friends and those who know you will not believe this stupidity. Those who do not know you are not important.

I think a certain 25 yo needs a life and is a bully.
Your actions speak louder than words and holding your head up and being mature about this matter makes her look foolish.
Just because someone says your cruel and cannot ride properly does not make such claims to be true. Shalom
 

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You should contact the web site and tell them that you do not wont your picture up with you age they should take it down and this is a forum of bulling
 

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Ignoring the drama is a really great way to go, but so is sticking up for yourself. I don't think posting random broad statements on Facebook about how 'some people are so rude and have nothing better to do' as a response to this situation is a good idea. (Not implying you did this- just advising against it as a way of dealing with the situation) Nobody likes reading those rant posts.

But talking to this girl privately in person (perhaps with your BM present) is a must, as is taking the picture off of the web. This is why I don't post too many pics on social media sites in the first place- too many people that don't know much in the way of horses get awful, untrue ideas in their head.

Good luck, keep your chin up, things will get better!
 

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Ignoring the drama is a really great way to go, but so is sticking up for yourself. I don't think posting random broad statements on Facebook about how 'some people are so rude and have nothing better to do' as a response to this situation is a good idea. (Not implying you did this- just advising against it as a way of dealing with the situation) Nobody likes reading those rant posts.

But talking to this girl privately in person (perhaps with your BM present) is a must, as is taking the picture off of the web. This is why I don't post too many pics on social media sites in the first place- too many people that don't know much in the way of horses get awful, untrue ideas in their head.

Good luck, keep your chin up, things will get better!
I strongly disagree.
IMPO it will be a waste of the OPs time to engage this bully.
She wants to know she has disrupted the OPs life and uses her bullying to feel better about herself. Ignoring those comments re enforces her already negative self image
You can only control your own thoughts and emotions. So why allow this woman to rent space in your head?
I do agree this should be reported to Facebook. Let them deal with her.
She does not matter and she knows it. That is the reason she posted the photo and made the comments.
Talking to this woman allows her to think she does matter. Shalom
 

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For myself, I would get someone whose opinion I trust, like an instructor who's not my regular instructor, to evaluate my jumping or whatever to make sure I really don't have a problem. (Few people are accurate judges of their own competence.) If I was doing ok, I'd just ignore the complainers. Why should you care what they think?
 

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If you look at pretty much any video of a person riding or working with a horse on YouTube you will find negative comments. Don't let the words of random people phase you, they are not important to your life. Report the image tot he social media site, ask your trainer what her thoughts are on your riding (or better yet another trainer like James suggested) and move on. People who want to cause drama want a rise out of you. The girl has her own issues to deal with, they shouldn't be your concern.
 

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Lucky for us, people who have nothing better to do than bash other people online all day usually never go outside and get anything accomplished. And if they do, you can imagine how cowardly they probably are in real life. Then you can just kill them with kindness.
 

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Oh goodness. I am 24. A lot of the kids at the barn are in their teens. I am in charge of them, because I am an adult, and they are still minors. Unfortunately this girl is still stuck in high school by the sound of it. Don't let her drama drag you down, you are being the adult here. Even if someone is the worst rider ever making fun of them is so immature. Honestly I might expect that from someone your age who hasn't found their "adult" side yet, but seriously? Some people. IF any of the kids that age at the barn (all of who are "barn rats", working students, owners, GOOD riders etc) were doing something I would have the problem with I would go to the coach and express my concerns, not publicly harass someone genuinely trying to learn. This girl's just being a diva and a drama queen, and very immature. I agree with ignoring her, and contacting the site to get the info removed. As mentioned there are comments on EVERYTHING on the internet. Don't take them personally. She just wants attention and this is her way of getting it. Who knows maybe she's jealous or something. But ignore her, same way you would ignore someone your own age or younger who's a drama queen. Back stabbing is not cool. One thing you will learn as you get older is there are plenty of immature "adults" out there. I think it's more of a lifestyle than an age..
If she is in any "position" at your barn talk to her supervisor, that is not appropriate behavior.

If she needs something to do there is plenty of REAL abuse out there, let her go document that and see if it's as much fun as harassing one of her peers.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Well this is me. I'm just posting this to show that I don't abuse her or make her ride to ridiculous distances. I know I don't look like an eq. rider, but it's not abusive in any way. I confronted her and she gave a backhanded apology, saying I flop around on my pony's back and ride her to scary distances over every jump. I've asked my friends who ride with me and they say I don't so I'll just ignore the situation
 

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I would post that since she posted the photo without your permission and is falsely accusing your of abusing your horse that you will be reporting her the authorities for cyber bullying and defamation of character. She sounds like a jealous person who loves drama.
I didn't read through all the comments so I am sorry if I am repeating what others have said. The fact that she is 25 and you're 16 is a big problem. You are a minor and she is harassing you. I would take this advice from ladygodiva. She is an adult and should know better, there are no excuses for her actions. She's just going to do this to more people if she doesn't get put in her place ASAP.
 

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I think you'll find that that the best thing to do is to ignore this situation. People love drama, they feed off drama. However, you need two people to have drama, if you choose not to participate in this issue it's just one person running her mouth off. As soon as you engage her, at least in a public way, you're validating what she is saying.

There are two somewhat related sayings that come to mind here. The first is "throw enough mud and some of it will stick" which means if someone says enough bad things about someone people will start believing some of it. To this extent I'd probably just act the opposite, be super nice to everyone, don't talk about this girl etc. If someone asks you say something like "Well if she wants to sneak about with her camera waiting for my one screw up, that's her issue not mine, I'm sure she'll get over it". It's puts it all on her.

The other saying is "You can't throw mud without getting dirty", and it basically means that by saying all these things about you, she's getting a bad rep as well. Maybe some will believe this, but someone who does this doesn't just do it once. She'll do it again, she's probably done it before and you might think people believe her but as much as it's hurting your reputation it's hurting hers. By not getting involved in it you should be able to walk away fine when it blows over, but she won't.

What I would do is report the photo, saying that she has been taking photos and publicly posting pictures of you (a minor) without your consent. And that's where I'd leave it.
 
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