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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
okay so most of you know me from the Critique on the Texas Rollback or My Crazy Barrels Run On My Friends Horse.
I have a MAJOR problem right now and i just about worked myself sick about it. I dont know what to do and I need serious advice/help.
Ok here it goes......
So i have been boarding Phantom at my friend's (the one who yells at me in the videos) for 4.5 years now and they let me board for free as long as i pay farrier, worming, and treats once in a while. Everything has been fine until recently. Their landlord has been being a real @$$**** the passed 2 -3 years about everything. They now have the money to move which is great im happy for them. So the passed year they have been looking at houses in their area and today i went with them to see one...i was thinking oh it will be like the others i went with them to see. Well we got there and they fell in love with it.......LITERALLY HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE with the place. So they are really considering it. Im happy they found a place but the thing is Phantom is already 40 mins away from me which sucks but this place that they are most likely gonna get is AN HOUR AND A HALF AWAY!!!! Now to some people this is like oh no big deal but i cry nonstop if i dont see Phantom for a week (he's my emotional rock). Also since Phantom is getting a little up there in age if something God0forbid happened*knocks on wood* i would like to be able to get there asap. Well i consider them sort of family and them me--apparently-- but recently its been different. But anyway when we got back to their house i was really upset like borderline crying but i was holding it in so i packed my stuff up to go home(i sleep over almost every weekend) and then ran outto see Phantom(like i said emotional rock and he always lets me hug him and cry**bless that old boy he's heard so many of my problems**) so i was crying them i heard someone on the railing. It was my friend and i thought she was just coming to check on her horse's foot (it was really hot yesterday)so i asked how Tobi's foot was doing and she's like " im coming to ask what you think of the house" well i couldnt hold it in i started crying and i asked her to please dont make me answer the question(as i mentioned before i am sensitive) and i started crying harder because i couldnt picture having phantom so far away when he is too far now. She walked over and literally asked"what my problem was" so i told her and she basically said "well if your gonna be unhappy about it you can move him" but it wasnt in a nice tone it was kind of snappy. Now i have never known her to be like this and she has never raised her voice to me or made me unhappy but this tone was harsh and almost mean. So that made me cry more and she kept going on about me moving him and stuff and saying if i couldnt move him he would saty with her forever. Also i am friends with her daughter and her daughter texted me after i left and said "my mom is such a backstabber" so naturally i asked why? then she replied (this is the actual text) " She is talking s*** about you she said she couldn't believe you were crying over something so stupid and that you are too insecure about a horse and that you are over exaggerating the situation when nothing is actually wrong or gonna change" she continued to say "Those are my moms words not mine...i know it is a big change" It makes me wonder if my "friend" has ever talked about me before. I feel like she doesn't want me there anymore :-(. I dont know what to do. I dont have a trailer and my parents and i are in a bad money situation so i can't pay board for him anywhere. I would totally work at a barn to pay off his board but idk of any places to do it and i still lack a trailer to get him and me to shows. I just don't know what to do anymore. I dont know why she changed like this i always considered them family her daughter doesnt know why she said those things and her husband who considers me a second daughter doesn't know. ugh

sorry it was so long im just really really upset and dont know what to do.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
the weird thing is she was never like this to me before we always had fun riding and now recently things have changed. I can't think of anything i did because i always follow the rules and watch what i say. I will be keeping Phantom i need him in my life right now(he's my rock) but i do need to move him i emailed three places close to me and one replied saying they were full but im still looking. I have been applying everywhere for jobs and no one is hiring me i even had one woman say "to tell you the truth a lot of people aren't hiring teens right now so my manager will probably look at your age and throw your application away" it's horrible that it takes one teen to give us all a bad name. I am a very hard worker and i do not like money being handed to me...i like to work for it. Also i have been saving up some money because i clean for my mommom once a week for $30 but ten goes to gas a week and anything i need then the rest gets saved. My dad said he would pay for showing for me(its only 12 dollars a week). and tomorrow i am going to my friends barn with her to see if her barn owner would be willing to neg. work for board i have met him before and he is very nice and takes awesome care of his horses and the best thing is .....they're not mindless robot lesson horses they all have a different personality. I live in NJ(south jersey) and i have been thinking ever since this happened yesterday as to how i am going to make this work....... My dad said he could get me a trailer as a graduation present.....im willing to do that all i need is a simple two horse. IM just so upset because she has never been that way towards me in the 4 and a half yrs i've been there but i now get the feeling she doesn't want me there. :( and i am definately willing to give up luxuries for phantom he has given me so much it's the least i could do for him. thanks so much for replying. and thanks for saying Phantom was adorable it made me smile for seriously like the first time today. : )
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
i dont think i could fit it in my schedule.....im trying to find a job right now...so i dont have the gas money and my mom (even though im 1 8 wont let me be down there after dark. i only see him once every week and sometimes only every other week. And now that i look back i guess there were some other things that i might have shrugged off about her and she does seem mean now. and yeah im glad the daughter told me she and i are good friends and she has been having problems with her mom for years and at first i didnt believe her but now i do. I am currently looking for new barns near me that could possibly let me work off board. Im visiting my firen'd barn tonight i hope it goes well i want Phantom out of there.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Congratulations Im gone............as of tomorrow i am closing my account i am tired of everyone on here saying i am selfish and a little ***** or whatever you frigging think i am this is not fair. i said i was happy for them i got excited for them i even told her i was trying to not be frigging selfish and she knew it and said so this is ridiculous i know how this world works and i told them i was not being selfish and i told her right to her face that i was VERY happy for them AND EXCITED for them because i know what the landlord has done he's even messed with me. and i work around the barn and house to gelp out as much as i can...you think i liked having my horse live somewhere for free no i hated it i felt worthless and horrible and got upset every time another bill came up because i knew i couldnt contribute. they always said it was fine and i also try giving them small amounts when i could......i started selling my good clothes and buying from Good frigging Will to give them money and I AM BEING SELFISH!!!! I have nothing because i have to buy my horse weight builder and oat bran every other week, treats, my own clothes, and gas. Nothing i have is new it is all used because i try to give what i can to them. i wouldnt have it any other way because i love my horse more than anything else i could possibly have. I watched their daughter all the time for them to give back. I have done what i could because i felt like such a stupid little idiot because that is what everyone tells me i am.....no one helps me i do it all myself my parents dont help me as they arent horse people so NO ONE HELPS ME i do what i can myself so please stop being rude and making me feel like a crappier person than i already feel....it sucks i really like this forum but if people arent going to give me advice but bash me then i've got to leave...i've got enough problems with my emotionally abusive mother, a father i never see, lack of job, and fighting throughout my family and i dont need to add a place that i felt happy with to that list. and i dont frigging whine or cry for no good reason i AM a sensitive person believe that or not but i am i am not a crazy little selfish teenager i actually know what the adult world is like and have been involved in it for a few years now.....when you grow up in my family you need to grow up quick...you know what i dont even know why i am wasting my time u guys obviously arent going to change your mind about me...which is sad because u are judging me from one post....nvm you wont hear from me anymore bacause i don't want to be a burden on anyone else anymore......sorry if i messed up your day or week or anything i really didnt intend for it........
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
well im sorry if i was writing that through tears and i was ****ed off because no one is hearing me through.....im sure there are times when you spelled a few words wrong nobody is perfect but apparently i have too much wrong with me ....maybe i should just crawl in a hole somewhere and never come out.....everyone in this life needs to feel better about themselves and in order to do that they put others down....i came to this forum for advice but i guess no one wants to give me any......they just want to bash me because they know they can and they know it will upset me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #21 ·
Okay so i am going to take a deep breath........the only thing that got me really upset was Speed Racer's first post that really set me off because I am not that kind of person......I'm sorry I took my feelings out on everyone else........ I've just been really stressed...but I have been taking what has been said into consideration.

"All these years I've given you all of this... and you really just used me, never really cared about ME."

Now your side of the story is more like "I'm really happy for you my friend but at the same time my heart is broken because my horse will be even further from me and there is nothing I can do about it. I feel trapped in a situation I can't get out of".
You might be right here because I am VERY happy for them I hate seeing their landlord push them around like they are nothing more than a ball rolling through life......I didn't want/choose for my BO to see me cry but it just kind of happened when she came outside to talk to me when I'm upset it's hard for me to not cry. I told her I was happy but I guess that wasn't really enough to her but I don't know how to show it to her that I am happy. I want to talk to her but I don't know how to start off. I really didn't want to sound like a selfish brat on here because I'm not I even told my BO while I was crying that I wasn't being selfish just kind of confused and worried but HAPPY and EXCITED for them. And I really do consider them my family and I want them to be as happy as they can be and if moving semi-far away is going to do that then so be it. I'll just have to figure everything out and life will just have to be a bit different for a little while.

Again I'm sorry I kind of lost my cool or "flipped" just a lot of things are going on and I'm trying to figure them all out at once.:oops:
 
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