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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
so my mare absoloutly hates me she bites me and kicks me i dont know what to do ive tryed everything from lunging to tieing im begining to feel as if i cant cope anymore its makng my anxiety act up and i dont know what to do. in my contract i cant sell or trade her please read and give me advice it would mean alot.
 

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What kind of contract have you singed?

Horses don't have the mental ability to hate you or hold grudges against you, get back at you for something you did etc.
Those are human things, horses know nothing about them. Be careful not to anthropomorphize the behavior for starters.

A horse ends up this way through positive (for them) reinforcement. Being repetition learners this is the other side of the coin to training. They are learning all the time and the horse doesn't really know or care about what is good or bad, they are not capable of that. Good and bad are human ideas about what we want them to do.

When great horseman say things like "make the right thing easy and the wrong thing difficult", this simple statement is fundamental to how a horse actually learns things.

So lunging or tying up have nothing to do with correcting the behavior by itself. A tool like "lunging for respect" works when the horse learns that the easiest path is to let you control their feet, in part because when they are running around like cats on crack not listening that is really hard work.

Give some more details on what is going on and I'm sure you'll get some good responses. Hopefully this reply has at least given you a place to start looking at what to do now.
 

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I really hope you have some more experienced horse people around. If not, can you at least find some to watch? In person? At a barn?

What is your situation? Are you boarding your horse? Is it at your house? What does it eat?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I really hope you have some more experienced horse people around. If not, can you at least find some to watch? In person? At a barn?

What is your situation? Are you boarding your horse? Is it at your house? What does it eat?
my sis traines horses but shes allways busy. shes at a family friends down the road. she eats sweet feed. shes my second horse im a teenand dont know what to do personally with her but am making very little progress
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
What kind of contract have you singed?

Horses don't have the mental ability to hate you or hold grudges against you, get back at you for something you did etc.
Those are human things, horses know nothing about them. Be careful not to anthropomorphize the behavior for starters.

A horse ends up this way through positive (for them) reinforcement. Being repetition learners this is the other side of the coin to training. They are learning all the time and the horse doesn't really know or care about what is good or bad, they are not capable of that. Good and bad are human ideas about what we want them to do.

When great horseman say things like "make the right thing easy and the wrong thing difficult", this simple statement is fundamental to how a horse actually learns things.

So lunging or tying up have nothing to do with correcting the behavior by itself. A tool like "lunging for respect" works when the horse learns that the easiest path is to let you control their feet, in part because when they are running around like cats on crack not listening that is really hard work.

Give some more details on what is going on and I'm sure you'll get some good responses. Hopefully this reply has at least given you a place to start looking at what to do now.
im not sure my sis bought heer for my birthday about a year ago. i know that we cant breed, sell
 

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so my mare absoloutly hates me she bites me and kicks me i dont know what to do ive tryed everything from lunging to tieing im begining to feel as if i cant cope anymore its makng my anxiety act up and i dont know what to do. in my contract i cant sell or trade her please read and give me advice it would mean alot.
With so little info on either you & what you're doing, your experience etc, or that of the horse, can't give you anything liike specific advice. Short of 'stay safe' - do not put yourself in a position of allowing yourself to get kicked or bitten! If you have a contract that says you can't sell on, you'll have to give her back to where you got her from if you don't want her.
 

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im not sure my sis bought heer for my 11 birthday about a year ago. i know that we cant breed, sell
If you actually OWN her, then you can do whatever you want with her, contract or not. What you're describing sounds like an ADOPTION, rather than a purchase. Did she come from a rescue group? If so, you should be able to return her to the same group.

I would tell the person / group you (or your sister) got her from that she's not working out. Describe the problems you are having. Tell them you want to return her unless they are willing to come out and help you with her. If they won't take her back, tell them you're going to sell her to someone else. See what they say. Again, if you actually outright own her, they can't tell you what you can and can't do with her.
 

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A couple of other things.

1. I'd stop feeding the sweet feed.
2. What she's doing, it sounds to me, is expressing dominance over you. In my experience, horses like to know who is the boss of whom. For most horses, if you don't make it clear that you are the boss, they will assume they are the boss and act accordingly. You'd have to change your behavior to make it clear to her that you are the boss. There are absolutely ways to do this. However, it sounds like you're already in a place where things are getting dangerous, and you don't have a lot of outside help. I don't think this is something you can do on your own, even with people online trying to help. I think the risk of getting hurt is too high. Not to mention, you could end up making her behavior worse, and it's hard to find a home for a dangerous horse. That's why I suggested returning or selling her, now.

Sorry, one last thing. I agree with what @jgnmoose said. She doesn't hate you. Again, I think she's just expressing dominance. Let me give you the example of two of my horses, Pony and Moonshine. Pony is a naturally dominant guy, and he's clearly dominant over Moonshine. So he pushes her around when he wants (threatens to bite or kick her, and sometimes actually does, but not enough to really hurt) because he can. But he adores her. She is their herd leader and there have been many times where he's protected her from horses in the other herd. And when he had to be on stall rest for a week, the first thing he did when he got back out there was go up to her and nuzzle her really gently. He thinks she's the best. But he also knows he's the boss of her, and he likes being the boss, so he pushes her around whenever he feels like it. Sounds to me like that's what your horse is doing to you.
 
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If you're a teen, you can't sign any binding contracts. You need to be an adult to do that. If there is a contract, either an adult signed it (in which case THEY are the one with the contract, not you), or you signed a meaningless piece of paper.

You absolutely need experienced help or you are going to get hurt. Either find that help or leave that horse strictly alone.
 

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The best advice is to get a trainer to help you and sister may not be the best choice. No offense to your sister, its just sometimes working with family can get dicey! If it were me and it's a dominance issue then I would try the following. If she tries to bite you while she has a halter (rope halter is best) and lead rope on, jerk her lead once and say NO. Then immediately make her back up. And I mean make her move her feet and if you need to slap (not beat the snot out of her) her chest with the lead rope or whip, do it. The idea is to make her work (I mean make her sweaty and tired) and feel uncomfortable! But be safe and don't do it alone, have another adult with you for support. You can get all sorts of advice on a forum, but if you are having problems that put your self at risk of injury then seek out a professional that can help you take control of the situation and learn so you can advance in your horsemanship.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
If you actually OWN her, then you can do whatever you want with her, contract or not. What you're describing sounds like an ADOPTION, rather than a purchase. Did she come from a rescue group? If so, you should be able to return her to the same group.

I would tell the person / group you (or your sister) got her from that she's not working out. Describe the problems you are having. Tell them you want to return her unless they are willing to come out and help you with her. If they won't take her back, tell them you're going to sell her to someone else. See what they say. Again, if you actually outright own her, they can't tell you what you can and can't do with her.
im gonna try to get my sis to help me but if i were to sell her i would be fined for 2,000 dollars
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
The best advice is to get a trainer to help you and sister may not be the best choice. No offense to your sister, its just sometimes working with family can get dicey! If it were me and it's a dominance issue then I would try the following. If she tries to bite you while she has a halter (rope halter is best) and lead rope on, jerk her lead once and say NO. Then immediately make her back up. And I mean make her move her feet and if you need to slap (not beat the snot out of her) her chest with the lead rope or whip, do it. The idea is to make her work (I mean make her sweaty and tired) and feel uncomfortable! But be safe and don't do it alone, have another adult with you for support. You can get all sorts of advice on a forum, but if you are having problems that put your self at risk of injury then seek out a professional that can help you take control of the situation and learn so you can advance in your horsemanship.
well my sis originally trained the horse so they have good respect for one another thanks for the advice
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
If you are a teen, you can't sign any binding contracts. You need to be an adult to do that. If there is a contract, either an adult signed it (in which case THEY are the one with the contract, not you), or you signed a meaningless piece of paper.

You absolutely need experienced help or you are going to get hurt. Either find that help or leave that horse strictly alone.
my sis sighned and bought her for me
 

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If you are a teen, you can't sign any binding contracts. You need to be an adult to do that. If there is a contract, either an adult signed it (in which case THEY are the one with the contract, not you), or you signed a meaningless piece of paper.

You absolutely need experienced help or you are going to get hurt. Either find that help or leave that horse strictly alone.
^^^^^^THIS:)

1. You are a teen with little to no horse experience.

2. Contract or not, you have zero, zip, legal rights regarding the horse.

3. As @Avna stated, if you can’t find someone experienced to help you, since your older sister that bought the horse for you is too busy, stay away from it.

The horse may have been a great and well trained horse at first but over time it has caught on to your inexperience. Leave it alone before you get hurt and the horse becomes so incorrigibl, someone decides it should go to a kill auction:)
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
^^^^^^THIS:)

1. You are 12 years old with little to no horse experience.

2. Contract or not, you have zero, zip, legal rights regarding the horse.

3. As @Avna stated, if you can’t find someone experienced to help you, since your older sister that bought the horse for you is too busy, stay away from it.

The horse may have been a great and well trained horse at first but over time it has caught on to your inexperience. Leave it alone before you get hurt and the horse becomes so incorrigibl, someone decides it should go to a kill auction:)
its not of my inexperience its that we went into quarentine and was not able to go to were we were boarding her so she bonded with others
 
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