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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We got our 3 year old gelding back from a trainer on Sunday, he had a terrible rearing problem. Which the trainer said is fixed, keeping my fingers crossed that it is. Well my husband had to leave Sunday and got back home tonight. I've been spending a lot of time outside with him and our other horse. I'm trying to get over my fear of riding again. I've just been going out there and kind of hanging out with them, brushing them, running my hands all other them and talking to them ( no I'm not crazy...lol ! ) Our gelding follows me around almost the whole time I'm out there, and respects my space. He stops, goes and back up when I tell him to.Which before the trainer he could careless if I was out there with him and if he did follow me he had no respect for my space. Anyways to the point...already

My husband went out there with me when he got home and we feed them. After they finished eating, we went back out to brush them. Everything was good for awhile, then every time my husband approached our gelding, he took off trotting like he was scared and came to me. He's never done this before. Normally if he was moving away from my husband, I was the last person he came to. I'm confused. Is this good or bad ? What should I do ? I don't want ruin him and waste his training.

Our gelding was a rescue. We've had him 2 years now. My husband has always been more active his his riding. My husband green broke him, and me well I got him better. I fatted him up and doctored his wounds. My husband has always been fair but firm with him, he's never abused him. His trainers where both female. Any ideas ????
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personally, I'd not worry so much about it. How he behaves under saddle or on the leadline (when he's working) is more important that if he runs away from your husband. As long as he works for you husband, when asked to do so, and doesn't rear, the rest is gravy.
 

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Wow. This story says a LOT.
First of all, it sounds like your husband has his heart in the right place but he broke a young horse with (apparently) little experience. That is likely where the rearing problem started. I assume you are both very accomplished riders now because a 3 year old needs more training and riding by someone who is very accomplished.

Next you indicate you are afraid of riding (bad fall from the rearing horse?).

Third you just got the 3 year old back from the trainer.. rearing fixed...

and last this 3 year old walks away from your husband who wants to brush him.

Time for a reality check.

1.) Horses are NOT PETS. They are LIVESTOCK. They behave like horses. They are not your friends and they are NOT PETS. They are NOT DOGS.

2.) Rearing is an evasion. It is usually an evasion created by bad training, bad riding and a horse that cannot tolerate either thing. How did the trainer deal with the rearing? Who is going to ride this horse now? Who is the accomplished rider who can take a 3 year old and bring him along?

3.) You are afraid. Whatever you do, the next time you ride do not ride your OWN horses. Go to a barn where they teach riding and take lessons.. on a calm horse in a controlled environment. If you can gain confidence then you may be ready to ride your own horses. If you ride the "reformed" rearer and you are afraid I can just about bet he will rear again. They know when you are afraid and feed off that. Horses are very much into flight when they are tense and upset.. because being upset is what they are when something is about to eat them.

4.) If you or your husband wants to groom the horses, then put a halter and a lead on the horse you are grooming and tie him up and freaking groom him. Don't wait for the horse to walk away or anything. Have a plan to do a task then do it with purpose.

Don't expect them to be like dogs.. where they come to you and wag their tails and welcome being groomed. They are not dogs. They are livestock. You and they will do MUCH better if you treat them like horses. If you want a devoted buddy.. a family member.. get a good dog.

People talk about a "bond" with a horse. I have NO IDEA what that means. I have been around horses for years and while they do get to know you and you them.. and they do seem to become affectionate to you.. if one of them gets spooked they can and will kill you as quick as that. And not care after. That is how horses are. There is no Flicka. My Friend Fury was on TV. Mr Ed was on TV and the Black Stallion is fiction. This is not Disney.

When you go out to work with the horses (and your fear), put a halter on the horse you are working with. Have a purpose. If the purpose is to clean the horse's feet, tie the horse up, and clean his feet. If the purpose is to untangle the horse's tail, then tie him up and do that. If you can separate the horse you are working with, do that and then work just with that horse.

Going out and just hanging out with the horses like another herd member is NOT what you want to do.. it begs a dissolution of respect and hierarchy. It begs future injury to you.

If you want to hang out around the horses, get a chair and sit OUTSIDE the fence and just watch them. Do not feed them treats or fiddle with them.

Have a purpose. If you do not, you will end up hurt and forever wonder how your "friend" could hurt you. Well.. maybe because they are horses and that is how horses are.

GOOD LUCK!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Wow. This story says a LOT.
First of all, it sounds like your husband has his heart in the right place but he broke a young horse with (apparently) little experience. That is likely where the rearing problem started. I assume you are both very accomplished riders now because a 3 year old needs more training and riding by someone who is very accomplished.

Next you indicate you are afraid of riding (bad fall from the rearing horse?).

Third you just got the 3 year old back from the trainer.. rearing fixed...

and last this 3 year old walks away from your husband who wants to brush him.

Time for a reality check.

1.) Horses are NOT PETS. They are LIVESTOCK. They behave like horses. They are not your friends and they are NOT PETS. They are NOT DOGS.

2.) Rearing is an evasion. It is usually an evasion created by bad training, bad riding and a horse that cannot tolerate either thing. How did the trainer deal with the rearing? Who is going to ride this horse now? Who is the accomplished rider who can take a 3 year old and bring him along?

3.) You are afraid. Whatever you do, the next time you ride do not ride your OWN horses. Go to a barn where they teach riding and take lessons.. on a calm horse in a controlled environment. If you can gain confidence then you may be ready to ride your own horses. If you ride the "reformed" rearer and you are afraid I can just about bet he will rear again. They know when you are afraid and feed off that. Horses are very much into flight when they are tense and upset.. because being upset is what they are when something is about to eat them.

4.) If you or your husband wants to groom the horses, then put a halter and a lead on the horse you are grooming and tie him up and freaking groom him. Don't wait for the horse to walk away or anything. Have a plan to do a task then do it with purpose.

Don't expect them to be like dogs.. where they come to you and wag their tails and welcome being groomed. They are not dogs. They are livestock. You and they will do MUCH better if you treat them like horses. If you want a devoted buddy.. a family member.. get a good dog.

People talk about a "bond" with a horse. I have NO IDEA what that means. I have been around horses for years and while they do get to know you and you them.. and they do seem to become affectionate to you.. if one of them gets spooked they can and will kill you as quick as that. And not care after. That is how horses are. There is no Flicka. My Friend Fury was on TV. Mr Ed was on TV and the Black Stallion is fiction. This is not Disney.

When you go out to work with the horses (and your fear), put a halter on the horse you are working with. Have a purpose. If the purpose is to clean the horse's feet, tie the horse up, and clean his feet. If the purpose is to untangle the horse's tail, then tie him up and do that. If you can separate the horse you are working with, do that and then work just with that horse.

Going out and just hanging out with the horses like another herd member is NOT what you want to do.. it begs a dissolution of respect and hierarchy. It begs future injury to you.

If you want to hang out around the horses, get a chair and sit OUTSIDE the fence and just watch them. Do not feed them treats or fiddle with them.

Have a purpose. If you do not, you will end up hurt and forever wonder how your "friend" could hurt you. Well.. maybe because they are horses and that is how horses are.

GOOD LUCK!!!

My fear comes from a fall off another horse and from watching our gelding rear up. My husband experience with horses is w lot more than mine. He didn't do enough groundwork, even after I begged him. My husband now knows how important it actually is.

Yes I know he's not a pet. Yes I've messed up by treating him like one. So how do treat him like a horse and not a dog ? I want to fix my mistake, before its too late.

2.The first time he reared we hadn't had him long. He reared up and knocked his feed bucket out of my hand. I stood there and won't let him eat til I was ready. He never did it at feeding time again. All the other times have been due to us making him do something he didn't want to, it was never under saddle. He eventually reared under saddle. That's when he went to the trainer. He reared up 5 times over there. When he did they started spurring him and turning his head to the side. They said he only reared during the first week.

3. The ladies that trained our gelding is going to start giving me riding lessons.
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Green horse + Green Rider = Bad Color combination.
How to fix this? Well you won't like what I have to say.. and I will be kind. Remember first and foremost I have spent a LOT of time on horses and training horses. They are amazing creatures. They are beautiful creatures. The are dangerous creatures. Horses can kill you and not care.

Yes I know he's not a pet. Yes I've messed up by treating him like one. So how do treat him like a horse and not a dog ? I want to fix my mistake, before its too late.
It is too late with this 3 year old IMO. You are frightened. Really frightened and from the ground too. Fixing the mistakes are going to start with YOU. Your fear must be fixed.. and it almost sounds like you have some PTSD from this. IOW's I had horses rear and toss me off at the early stages of my horse experience and I was never afraid of them. I just brushed off and got on with it. Now I was not badly hurt and you may have been badly hurt.. so I am not saying your fear is unreasonable. Fear is NEVER unreasonable to the person experiencing it. However, if you are determined to ride and to ride competently then you need to get the fear past. It is something you may need counseling for to get yourself on the right path.

The 3 year old learned he could resist and rear. They made him stop at the trainer.. but what happens back home the first time he is asked to do something that confuses him? He is going to evade that question somehow. Rearing. Bucking. Spinning. Balking. How is that going to be dealt with? More time at the trainer? More money? Certainly treats and love are not going to do it. SELL HIM. TRADE HIM. GIVE HIM AWAY.

When you go out to your horses, have a purpose for going out there. If it is to feed them, then feed them. Be efficient. Don't talk to them. Just do it. No petting. No nothing. You just feed. If it is to groom them, then get the tools for that together and get a halter and lead. Take the horse you are going to groom out of the pasture and separate him into a paddock, tie him up and groom him. Won't tie? OK.. this is the first thing and you won't know how to fix that (part of the being green thing and we all were at one time). The horse just won if he won't tie. Your purpose got messed up. Put your grooming tools away, put the horse away and call someone and advertise the horse.

A green handler needs a horse that will stand tied, will ride out, has been there and done that and has learned all the respect stuff. That horse will teach you so much.. and probably not scare you. You need a seasoned and trained older horse. Get a 15 year old retired lesson horse. Even with a seasoned horse you will make enough mistakes and you will learn. Best to learn with one that has seen it than to learn with one who is seeing it for the first time!

This three year old horse is no different than a 3 year old cow. He is livestock. Maybe he has learned respect... but you have learned fear of him. Honestly.. go back to that trainer and find out if they can find a new place for him to live and let him go.

Meanwhile, find a good solid lesson facility with older horses that are campaigners. Go to that very safe environment and get your lessons and.. after between counseling and the lessons you overcome your fear then go out and buy an older horse that is from a lesson program.

I make these suggestions (and you still have free will so you can choose not take them and I won't be mad) in the interests of the 3 year old horse's future and your safety and well being.

I know you rescued this horse with your heart. Lots to be said for that.. but he is more than you should have around.

Now.. as to your behavior with your horses. First and foremost you need to view them differently. They have brains the size of walnuts and they have great capacity to remember. That is how we can train them. They also are large and not terribly bright and can kill you.

Their instinct is to run away when challenged or scared.. and if they can't run they will fight. They will run over your, run with you on their back, run out in the road in front of trucks, run through fences and off cliffs. If you are a good enough rider to stop them, then they will fight. They will rear or buck or fall down or kick or strike.

Training can fix this.. but training takes experience. You lack that experience (but you will get it if you stay in this game).

Hanging out with your horses in their paddocks petting them is not training. It is becoming a herd member and that is not what you want. What you want is to be the boss of all.. not a herd buddy. So don't do that. Only go and work with your horse if you have a purpose to do so. Otherwise, go take a walk with your dog or do something else.

Whatever you decide, remove the stuff Disney fills our heads with and STAY SAFE.

Good Luck (again). And I do mean that.
 

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The world needs a law: one must be demonstrably qualified to own a horse, especially an untrained horse whom one wishes to train. The horses are the ones who suffer for lack of such a law.
 

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The world needs a law: one must be demonstrably qualified to own a horse, especially an untrained horse whom one wishes to train. The horses are the ones who suffer for lack of such a law.
Wow.. There are too many laws now.That is whats wrong with today, make a law to fix to stupid is just moronic.
People need to have common sense.
If you dont know how to ride why in the world do you think you can train a horse? Let them get stomped. Maybe they will learn something.
First time someone gets bit or kicked they usually learn how to prevent it.
 

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Wow.. There are too many laws now.That is whats wrong with today, make a law to fix to stupid is just moronic.
People need to have common sense.
If you dont know how to ride why in the world do you think you can train a horse?
why do they think they can train a horse? um, cue Disney, and every other horse fiction out there, with magical bonds and horses that want to be ridden because they love their people so much, they can ride off into the sunset. Also factor in a society built on instant gratification, and the message to youth that "you cant fail if you just try". People are brainwashed into believing these things, its not their fault, its pretty hard to know any other way unless someone shows you, or you learn the hard way.

Let them get stomped. Maybe they will learn something.
First time someone gets bit or kicked they usually learn how to prevent it.
nice. I suppose the best way to teach a toddler fire is hot is to let them fall in it? OP, get some help. take some riding lessons, grab Clinton andersons groundwork DVD's and book. start with ground work and gaining respect. Ideally, when you feel more confident, get a good trainer to help you work with your boy.
 

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I blame it on the youtube generation where idiots make films using dead broke horses and make it look like they're solving their problems and it all looks so easy and common sense flies straight out of the window.
Well it isn't easy and lots of people do get hurt and the sooner everyone realizes that the better.
I'm sorry OP but a 3 year old horse that has a rearing problem is not the sort of thing a nervous person should be riding - the problem might be solved for an experienced rider but your fear and lack of experience is already getting in the way of its future success.
God only knows what sort of baggage these rescue horses carry with them and it can take years for mental scars to heal.
If you're going to try to deal with this then follow Elana's advice re. how your husband handles the horse - it might take a while but eventually he'll stop seeing him as the enemy and as someone he relies on
Get yourself some good lessons on a reliable horse but in the meantime the horse you have really should be getting worked by someone that can bring him on in the right way or he'll just regress.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Ok let me set it straight !!!! IM NOT TRYING TO TRAIN A HORSE !!!! I sent him to a qualified trainer. He came home on Sunday and is completely different horse. He stands still when I groom him. I don't have to tie him. He respects my space. My husband has ridden. He reins, listens to your feet, backs up when told to. As far as my knowledge of horse, yes it limited, but im trying. No of you where knowing everything about horses... you learned it, just like I'm. Dang...cut me so slack. You where once a beginner too !!
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point is.. Do not need a new law. If you want laws regarding everything you do, say, own etc.. go live in some other country. socialism communistic ideals giving the gov't power over personal choice.. IS Wrong.
has nothing to do with a toddler, and yep once they touch something Hot they have learned what the word Hot means. ( not go throw them in a fire )
 

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Perhaps your Hubby needs to go and take some lessons with you , and catch the horse up to groom him. Maybe after the horse learns some respect you can groom them without haltering them. I have some horses I can groom w/o halter and others that have got to be haltered. But it is much safer for a beginner to halter the horse while grooming. Also, walking around the pen with them is fine, but always watch the horse, if it was to spook,you could get hurt.
Is the best advice I can give you.
 

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Sorry if you were offended
If the horse is just nervous of your husband then all he can do is work on reassuring the horse that he's no threat to him and that can take time and it will take a lot of patience too. Unfortunately that's not something that can be taught over the internet
It will help your confidence if you ride a steady reliable horse for a while and that's the best advice anyone can give you
A young horse that's had a few weeks with a trainer is still a green horse and still has a lot to learn so having his education continued by someone who knows what they're doing will help him progress
Yes we were all beginners once - and I cant speak for anyone else here - I learnt to ride as a very young child but my first ponies were all very carefully chosen so they would be safe and help me to learn how to ride really well without the fears of them doing something dangerous.
For me the unbroken green horses came much further on down the line.
Hence my suggestion that you improve your riding on something sensible so you can then use that experience to keep this young horse on the right path
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I was just wanting to know how to treat my horse like a horse and not a pet ? What do they expected out of me as a leader? Yeah some lessons I've learned the hard way, I've been bucked, stepped on but I get back on and learn from it.
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This is going to sound in opposition here to some other posts - but the horses I have now are 'pets' in the sense of the word. I don't make a living out of them and they are a 'part of the family' so much so that we brought 3 of the stupid things with us from the UK
This is how it is with me though - even pets have to have boundaries and we all see that differently too I suppose, I don't allow even my small dogs on the sofas or beds, my large deerhound x pointer knows its not allowed to jump up or he'll knock me over and the little dogs know that running under my feet is likely to get them trodden on or me tripped up - so I establish rules that are clear, consistent and fair.
I don't want my horses to fear me but I do want them to know that if I say "NO' I mean that so sometimes they do get a slap or a harsh word to keep them in line.
If you care for your horse, make them need you and treat them with respect then the occasional punishment when called for wont hurt them or your relationship with them.
What you must remember though is you have to be consistent - its not fair to the horse to allow it shove at you with its nose one day and then punish it the next day because its knocked you flat.
That doesn't mean you cant get close up to them - if I stand in the stable my pinto who was a terrified wreck not so long ago will come and put her head by my shoulder and snuggle up if I invite her too - and your own body language offers that invitation. It has to be polite and on your terms.
I'm not sure what else you want to know - and this is just how I do things but it works for me and always has.
 

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OP, to treat the animal like a horse YOU must be mentally TOUGH. It means the horse does WHAT you want, WHEN you want, and if there is a hesitation, you find a way to MAKE it happen. We should not say "easy, honey darling precious horsey" as they trample us. Give that halter a snap and MOVE them off of you. They move one foot? make them put it back.

It is not as easy as that, but a start. Always remember we are predators, and they are PREY. Horses think everything is going to eat them, and we have to convince them otherwise, by being their leader, but that means NOT being afraid, and not talking down to them, and not rewarding them when they do not doing what we want, but teaching them what it IS we want.

Horses learn on the release, which is not the easiest concept, because it is backwards from us. When a horse does the correct thing, we have to have the timing to QUIT teaching right then, not ina little while.

We will TRY to help, but, as you can see, it is hard in real life, nearly impossible on the internet!

Nancy
 

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Having the trainer who worked with this horse spend some time demonstrating for you the way to deal with little problems that creep up in daily horse life, such as when you feed, lead and groom, will help you know how to deal with them. I mean, people can tell you about being firm and being a leader and all, but it's really easiest to just observe and mimic someone else. And, you don't necessarily want to approach the horse like he's an enemy that you have to be prepared to get before he gets you. But, rather to learn to see where the horse is "pushing" on you in a way that is not acceptable for one horse to push on another horse that is above him in the pecking order.

for some horses, very small amounts of such behavior, such as them gently resting their nose on you, or sniffing you or such , can be tolerated because the horse is not trying to see if he can then push even more over you. Some horses just aren't that aggressive. you can allow them a little leeway.

But others, they need you to be very clear with EVERYTHING that you do with them, that you are always in charge. If not, then little problems lead to bigger ones. So, you do not allow too much familiarity, you dont' hand feed, you never allow them to back sass if you ask them to go forward.

your horse? I'd ask the trainer, but I would suspect he may need more firmness. but again, having someone SHOW you how to behave with this horse would be much better than a bunch of people giving advice over the internet.
 
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