[buddy09]

so me and my bf went to a party with his whole family and all of their friends, I went and sat at the bar with his oldest brother, when i went back with our drinks my friend was hanging off of him and he wasn't doing anything about it! I got so mad and just sat at the bar all night, we've been going out for about a year and i didn't think we would do something like that.

(my bf is the one looking up at the wall the other two are his brothers)

He asked me what was wrong and i said what do you think? He said it was just a joke but i said whatever and left, he called me the next day and asked me to come over and i just said whatever and went, when i got there she was there and that ticked me off, but we went inside and he apologized to me. I dont know what i should do should i dump him or stay with him, what would you do if your bf did this?

 

[free_sprtd]

It really depends on how committed you are to him. Every relationship is tough, and there are always things to work though. If you don't feel like this relationship is worth working through, then move on, however, if you truly care about him and want him around for a long time...then maybe you should try and work it out. In my friend groups, we know not to take any hugs, tickling, or closeness seriously with eachother.... we're kind of like the show "friends" lol. I wouldn't give it a second thought if I saw it between my friend and boyfriend. It would be different if they were making out or something. Now, since you are still early in this relationship, it would be good to start building your communication. Talk to him about it in a mature way, tell him you felt it was disrespectful and that it hurt your feelings. Then ask him how he would feel if one of his friends or whoever started hanging on you. You should be able to have this conversation without an argument. You can also ask the friend what was up, but you don't want to sound like you're jealous(or upset) or anything...that could result in a tear in your friendship.

COMMUNICATION is the foundation in every relationship be it girlfriends, boyfriends, mom, dad, siblings, ect. Good luck!

 

[buddy09]

well i really like him and he likes me and i am pretty much one of his family now so i dont know, I would like to talk with him and her, i think he would be fine with not being around her but she is like my sister and she does get upset about things like this, but if it means she stays out of me and jesse's relationship it's fine if we have a tear in our friendship

 

[buddy09]

but it still annoys me

 

[free_sprtd]

I understand for sure..... as time goes on, you'll learn to not let the little things get to you so bad and as you build trust with him, it doesn't bug you as much. You're going to remove your friend from your life? I would really reconsider.... it might be nothing.... I am speaking from experience...I wiped my best from my life for 2 years and I regret it. We are friends again stronger than ever. Do you feel like they are flirting or that they like eachother?

 

[buddy09]

i feel like they like eachother because she is always at their house and they always hang out(when i say their i mean him and his brothers, they all live together) and i do trust him but this has kinda changed some things for us

 

[TralissaAndalusians]

I would be angry with the friend, more than the boyfriend. But still, he should have told her to back off.

 

[buddy09]

yeah i agree but im going to try and talk to her about it next time i see her

 

[buddy09]

what would other people do if it was their best friend(almost like a sister) doing this to your boyfriend??

 

[Kansasbarrelracer]

drop them both, harsh but true

 

[buddy09]

well i really love my bf and i no he loves me to but i cant drop him after a year, he is like a best friend to me. and he is the only bf i have had that listens to what i say and is a shoulder to cry on.

 

[EventersBabe]

Hmm.
that is a tough one because I haven't had that happen but if he apologized to you then give him the benefit of the doubt that it was a mistake it wont happen again.
First of all whhy in the heck was your friend hanging off your bf? Maybe she was drunk or somthing you need to realize the situation as well. If he truely cares for you then dont worry about it talk to him about it again and see what he says.
I wouldnt dump him unless he gives you a reason to not TRUST him.

 

[TralissaAndalusians]

I've had it happen, with just girls that my boyfriend knows. And it's mainly when I'm not there, as we're in an LDR. Apparently, he get's loads of girls coming up to him that he knows, flirting and dangling off him, and he just doesn't tell them to back off. These girls know I'm his girlfriend, and get jealous. He told me that if he fancied any of them, he wouldn't be with me. It's like, this one girl I absolutely DESPISE always messages him on Facebook, being flirty, well aware that I can see it all. And this other one, always ask's him to go with her to shop for a new party outfit, and sit outside the changes ones to see which ones HE likes best. He did this once, when he was with his mate, and knew I was upset and angry about it. This same girl, he went to her party instead of coming to see me, and she just constantly flirts with him. He winds her up, I've seen and heard him on the phone. I know he has no intention of flirting back or running off with them. I trust him, it's other girls I do not trust.

It can be hard telling someone to back off, and like I said, it's this girl you need a word with. Just tell her you don't mind them being friends, but what you saw the other night, you did not like at all, and ask her not to do it again. Also, talk to your boyfriend again, just tell him you don't mind him being friends, but if she does something like that again, it will really upset you and you don't want to get in a stupid argument over it.

It can be hard.

If it was my boyfriend, he wouldn't get angry over it, he's sensible and actually talks it through, reassures me that nothing will EVER happen, and let's me know that he loves me and only wants to be with me.

Sadly, not all guys are like this :/ It can be tough :/

Just tell him to put himself in your shoes. If he were to see a guy dangling off you, flirting, how would he feel. And let him know how it made you feel.

 

[buddy09]

alrighty i can try

 

[xLaurenOscarx]

if it was me id leave it.
once they weren'nt kissin or anything like that i wouldn't do anything.

 

[SmoothTrails]

TralissaAndalusians has very good advice. I would also explain that it would make you feel better if he at least told her to back off. My boyfriend (i had a thread about it) was really jealous of me for a while because he thought that I was not trying to get a guy at school to back off. He alwasy menntions me when a girl gets to flirty, adn I mention him if a guy gets too flirty. Trust and communication are huge!!! I'm in a LDR so I have really had to work on this with my boyfriend. He and I have been together for about a year and a half now, but we have been friends for over ten years.

 

[buddy09]

thats cool really hope we can get it worked out

 

[Annaland13]

You should ask your friend why she's being an idiot.

 

[buddy09]

could do that but talking to her might make it worse because then she might think im jealous that she was hangin off of him and not me

 

[Hope2B]

Buddy i know how much he means to you just like how cody means loads to me, if she ever did that to cody i would just go smack her cross the face and tell her to get away from my boy. Just tell her to stop doing that and talk to jesse bout it too.