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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hi everyone. My friend who is 11 just got her first horse, or I should say horses. Our instructers told her that a suitable first horse for her would be a horse older than 10... about 11 or 12, and must know the basics.

She went out and bought a 7 year old 16.2hh racehorse, that at that point had only been off the track for a week. She diddnt try him out, as he was lame but still bought him!

She got a 4 year old 15.1hh mare, that hadnt even been off for 5 DAYS. She tried her out and got bolted with, still bought the mare.

And a 17hh 5 year old, that was only a week off as well, rode him... was quite fine, bought him.

Then she was stuck... she couldnt train them, she'd only been riding for about two years, not that Im saying she cant ride, she really can. So her dad asked me to help train them, he offered to pay me, but I said I'd do it for free, because she's my friend. Dispationate (the 5 year old) I have made good progress with. In the 4 months theyve had him, my friend never rides him, cause she says he's too calm (??). He now walks, trots and canters, really calm, and we are working on circles and that kind of thing. The 7 year old is her main horse. She doesnt want to teach him to collect and extend, and that stuff. She doesnt want to teach him circles or even to stand still when being mounted!! All because she doesnt want him to become a "dressage snob"(???) She wants to jump him. Ive told her that dressage is the base of jumping, and that if she wants a nice calm show horse, she's going to have to get him calm and able to canter a circle. She wont listen... She said "I dont want him calm, he's a challenge cause he gallops alot". So Ive given up there, she doesnt let me work him anymore.

The mare she does ride sometimes. I have given up with her to. I spent an entire week getting her calm in walk, then trot, and finally in canter... a week each. She became so calm and nice, then the next time I went I rode Dispationate, and she rode the mare. I was working on his circles and walk - halt transitions, when she came blowing past me at an almost gallop! The rest of the ride the mare was a nightmare, wouldnt walk, tried to bolt and even reared! I told her if she wanted me to help her train them, then she is going to have to work with me,and help me, not just go galloping along.

I dont know what to do. I cant stop her riding them, they are hers! Ive talked to her dad, but nothings changed. Im going to talk to our instructers this weekend. Im going to keep working with Dispationate, but not the other two. Sorry about the length, cookies if you read it all!

Do you think I handled anything wrong? Or rode any of them wrong? Thanx
 

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No offence, but that person sounds stupid, irresponsible and probably shouldn't have a horse. She needs to be taught the basics. You cant let a horse gallop around uncontrolled. A good jumper NEEDS to be in control at all times. My mare can be very hot, and will go VERY fast if I ask. But, when I want her to be calm and slow, she'll do that too. Its nice, and its safe. If she gets into a situation where she's trying to handle the horse and it hurts her, where will she be then? Good behavior undersaddle leads to good behavior in other areas, too. If a horse realizes it can be out of control undersaddle, he may realize he can be out of control on the ground, or in a stall, a trailor, getting shod, or during a visit from a vet. Bad behavior in one thing can definitely lead to bad behavior all around. My mare is a CHAMPION jumper, hunter, eventer, dressage, western, and pleasure pony. She is an incredibly talented jumper and is ALWAYS under control. I control her speed, which helps me get her striding (a key element to jumping) and she listens.
Here's a vid of her:

Not one bit crazy AND she's collected! If a horse doesn't give to the bit, he may start fighting it and it could get difficult to control him. Also, walking while getting mounted leads to trotting while mounting, and soon taking off - VERY dangerous. I would think the parents would also have more sense than to buy their 11 year old kid three crazy OTTBs. If I were a parent, ESPECIALLY if my kid was young, unexperienced, AND getting their first horse, I would lean towards something sane. Especially if a trainer told me that would be safer.
 

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Another important aspect of jumping is a clear round... But if your horse rears, bucks and takes off, you'll either fall (disqualified), refuse (fault), or your horse will take the wrong jump, leaving you off course (disqualified)



Eliminated for DISOBEDIENT REARING. hmm.
 

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I say ignore the girl, and talk to her father. Tell HIM that if his daughter wants to show, she needs a reliable, intelligent mount (the mare, as it sounds) and needs to do it in a certain way...i.e. taking lessons from a reputable trainer and conditioning your horse effectively, not just aiming your horse at some solid object and telling him to giddyup. If he's not willing to hear it and get a control on his child, write up your critique of her and the horses (why shes not suited for these horses, why her horses aren't suited for jumping yet), have the father read and sign it, and then cut out. Then watch for her obituary.
 

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im sorry but i i had a kid i would never let her near an ex racehorse unless she really knew what she was doing and had the proper experience i think shes a bit in over her head here and your putting yourself in danger here, if shes on a horse and it takes off it could spook the horse your on putting you at risk and doing if for free for something as dangerous is never good.
 

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Dont Bring this down on yourself. Unless they start to get mis-treated or something, just have nothing to do with it. It is not your job to care for her horses.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thank you everyone.. Im trying to make her understand,and so Im just going to keep riding the 5 year old, and get them to look for an experienced trainer for the other two, whether she wants one or not. LoveTheSaddlebreds, thank you so much for posting those videos. I showed her the one of your mare, and that showed her that a horse can still be fun while being calm. And the jumping ones helped alot. She can jump, but not very well. She jumped our schoolmaster Bishop, utill he retired. So I showed her through those videos how dangerous her horse could be if she doesnt train him. I understand that she doesnt want to teach him the things like a half pass and piaffe, though I personally think it would benefit them both. But how will teaching him to collect and do a circle make him a "dressage snob"?
 

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This is definately a situation I hope I never, EVER have to get into. I almost did one time with my friends horse who is 6 yrs old and is an ex race horse, they bought him from an auction to save him from the glue factory. They were curious as to me trying to train him, I'm like, 'nope, sorry'. lol I really hope nothing serious happens to your friend, or you.
 

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Speaking like a father, your friend is a spoiled child and her parents are mostly to blame. I'm sure she wasn't capable of laying out the money to buy the horses, tack, and stabling, that had to come from her parents. If they are enabling their child to do as she pleases without obvious restraint, there is nothing you can do that will work. My advise would be to just sit back and let them hash it out. I would advise my daughter (meaning you in this case) not to get involved - you can't win. If she isn't listening to her instructors, she isn't going to listen to anyone and her parents are allowing her to get away with this behavior.
 

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Jeez, she sounds like a brat. This is really the parent's problem. They need to be the ones that disciplines the kid. Tell them your thoughts, and be blunt in your delivery. I'd go with the approach "Horse's are very dangerous and your daughter is reckless. Do you really want her in the hospital?".
 

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Its the riders attitude that makes a "dressage snob" as in any class of riding, not just one discipline.
Since her and the parents didnt listen to the instructor saying to get an older horse. I dont think they are going to listen to you now. I mean you did say that when you first talked to her father nothing changed. Even though he was willing to hire you. If it was me I would just stand back completely. Because even if you do finish the gelding she could just take him back and start to ride him and mess him/training up. Soon enough she is going to get her horse or herself hurt and wonder what went wrong...uh everything!

Its better to have the training and control of your horse then look like in idiot riding some crazy horse in the show ring. Ask her which kind of rider she wants to be. A presentable showman who can complete a course? Or a rider who just wants to gallop and jump randomness, if so take it to a field at your own risk. Because peolple like that put other riders in danger.
I hope everything works out for you and she opens her eyes. Good luck!
 

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travleinggyps: I love the horse in your avatar, is that yours?? If it is, you are one lucky chick! :D

As for the situation, I guess at this point I would do as iridehorses said. Just stay out of it. It's not worth you getting hurt over. I'm not saying the kid should be the one to get hurt instead, but if she thinks she can ride them and everything will be fine, than she needs to get scared a little bit. And as for the parents...what 'parents'? She might as well not have any because they are doing nothing that a normal, correct parent would, it sickens me more than ever. I think most 3 yr olds would know better not to ride a horse they see bucking and bolting, etc. What is wrong with this poor kids parents? I wish her the best of luck and I hope she stays safe. But don't get involved, it's just not worth it.
 

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I wanted to add this too: mention to the parents that if those horses end up injuring something because of her reckless riding, they could be looking at legal fee's.
 

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pechosgoldenchance- No its not mine, i wish tho! :D
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Thank you for your imput everyone...

Our instructers are going to see the horses today, and if they decide that they are to dangerous for her, her dad is going to either get a proffesional to train them, or sell them, because I cant go any further with them. So we'll see what they say. The 5 year old, Dispationate, they should keep because he really is a quiet, calm horse and I'm making good progress with him... but the other two, I dont think so. So do you guys think selling them would be the best, or getting a proffesional trainer?
 

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Only knowing what you tell us, I would sell them. The money they recoup plus what they were willing to spend on a trainer, should get them a nice horse but why does she need several horses?
 

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Discussion Starter #18
The 7 year old is her horse, the 5 year old is actually her step sisters horse, but she cant ride, so if I dont ride him, no1 will. The mare is her step mothers horse, but she also cant ride, so my friend rides her too.
 

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I'm sorry, and this is rather harsh, but these people have more money and "romantic ideas" then brains. Nothing you say will affect what they do so my suggestion would be to leave them alone and let them do as they please - which they are doing anyway.
 

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Don't know what to do?

This situation sounds better now.The original advice you gave your friend with the older horse still would be best .Maybe now they will see that.The first post you talked about how your friend would not even commit to having the horse stand for mounting.That is something that should be at the very foundation of your training .Black and white you don't move when I get on and you do not move when I get off.This is really important if this understanding is not installed,with the horses you are working with don't fall off because the horse will not stop.The other end on the positive side is true if they know this as you get off they will stop and wait.This is a real nice safety feature to have in there foundation.My guys you can get off at any speed not touch the reins and they will stop as you get off.This information I am giving is for you to help ,in the future.This point might be lost on your friend .But she is sure lucky she has you .
 
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