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What Should I Do?

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18y/o 15.3hh purebred registered morgan mare trueblack with star, 12yo blood bay warmblood mare 17hh
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have been wanting to switch yards for a while but my trainer owns "my" two horses I guess I could save up my money to move yards and to buy them but that wouldn't be for a while because horses and to move yards isn't cheap. I just feel like with the yard im at now my riding isn't progressing and I feel slightly embarrassed about it, like i've been riding constantly for over a year and on and off over the years so in total about 3-4 years, but my trainer wont let me do what I want to do and she wont let me go faster than trot, so I've taken it into my own hands and have been training myself, in two weeks training myself I've progressed more than in a year with my trainer. I'm now cantering and jumping around 2 feet, but with her she BARELY lets me do trot poles. I've tried bringing this issue to my trainers attention but whenever I bring it up she just changes the subject or says, "once the ground dries up", or "I dont think your ready" or things like that, even though the ground IS dries up, and I KNOW I'm ready. So what do I do?!
 

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I think you should switch yards. If you've seriously been riding for 3-4 years and she still won't let you get past trotting. I also wouldn't try to teach yourself how to jump without a trainer being there. Really you need to take lessons for that.
 
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I am a little confused. Either they are your horses which means you own them, or they are your trainers horses which means that she owns them.
 

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18y/o 15.3hh purebred registered morgan mare trueblack with star, 12yo blood bay warmblood mare 17hh
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I am a little confused. Either they are your horses which means you own them, or they are your trainers horses which means that she owns them.
I know its confusing, but one horse im part owner of and she wants her to stay there but I cant just keep going the way it is, and the other is mine but like not officially shes had that horse Its whole life but like I said, I just cant keep having it the way it is with my riding progressing so slowly.
 

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18y/o 15.3hh purebred registered morgan mare trueblack with star, 12yo blood bay warmblood mare 17hh
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I think you should switch yards. If you've seriously been riding for 3-4 years and she still won't let you get past trotting. I also wouldn't try to teach yourself how to jump without a trainer being there. Really you need to take lessons for that.
Yea I know I just couldn't handle it, riding is getting so boring because I'm not aloud to go past trot, and its just so repetitive everyday doing small bits of riding in circles me and my horses are getting bored.
 

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I've just broken a professional equine relationship. It is gut-wrenching, because a friendship was evolving. But the results have been so below my "standards" that I couldn't endure it any longer and so I had to "suck it up" and make the painful move. I have doubts about breaking this relationship, but it is one that involves essential care for my horse and daily, I grew more dissatisfied and worried. Deep down I have the confidence to carry on alone, but the act of severing the connection is very painful. I knew I had to act before the friendship became too cemented, as happened with my last professional of twenty five years. As the situation declined I deferred ending it because "he was such a nice guy", until I finally made a cowardly exit.

You have to do what you know is right. If we here on the forum can help give you the fortitude to take your positive step, then we have done our job as a community. You are the only one that can decide to move ahead.

Best of luck.
 

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I would buy out her ownership of the horse you are a part owner on, and then you can move on or not, but you can do whatever you want with that horse then.
 
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I feel you 😭 I was at my last lessons for a year and my trainer kept saying “when the weather clears up” “when the ground is dry” 😐 after a year of excuses I got sick of it and leased a horse, in my last couple of lessons I asked if I could learn the basics of canter. I spent my last lessons walking.
When I was there, there was a girl who had been there for 7 years and still not cantering, the teacher even put her on a horse far beyond her ability (an ex pacer who still paces)
Get out as soon as you can, if not you are just going to spend the next (who knows) not doing what you want

Have you paid for either of the horses?
 

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18y/o 15.3hh purebred registered morgan mare trueblack with star, 12yo blood bay warmblood mare 17hh
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I feel you 😭 I was at my last lessons for a year and my trainer kept saying “when the weather clears up” “when the ground is dry” 😐 after a year of excuses I got sick of it and leased a horse, in my last couple of lessons I asked if I could learn the basics of canter. I spent my last lessons walking.
When I was there, there was a girl who had been there for 7 years and still not cantering, the teacher even put her on a horse far beyond her ability (an ex pacer who still paces)
Get out as soon as you can, if not you are just going to spend the next (who knows) not doing what you want

Have you paid for either of the horses?
I have invested alot of time (over 1 year) and hundreds of dollars into one for her feet, and the other we had a agreement where I help train her and she will be part mine witch I have been training her for many months.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I've just broken a professional equine relationship. It is gut-wrenching, because a friendship was evolving. But the results have been so below my "standards" that I couldn't endure it any longer and so I had to "suck it up" and make the painful move. I have doubts about breaking this relationship, but it is one that involves essential care for my horse and daily, I grew more dissatisfied and worried. Deep down I have the confidence to carry on alone, but the act of severing the connection is very painful. I knew I had to act before the friendship became too cemented, as happened with my last professional of twenty five years. As the situation declined I deferred ending it because "he was such a nice guy", until I finally made a cowardly exit.

You have to do what you know is right. If we here on the forum can help give you the fortitude to take your positive step, then we have done our job as a community. You are the only one that can decide to move ahead.

Best of luck.
Thank you so much, this is why I love this community 😭. And I feel like it might be to late she is a close friend of mine, which will make it so much harder to tell her I want to move yards 😓. And I feel like moving yards is what is right but I just feel nervous to tell her because I've known her for a lot a lot of years.
 

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Thank you so much, this is why I love this community 😭. And I feel like it might be to late she is a close friend of mine, which will make it so much harder to tell her I want to move yards 😓. And I feel like moving yards is what is right but I just feel nervous to tell her because I've known her for a lot a lot of years.
It's probably one of the worst feelings in the world, parting ways with a friend. But it might be worse, living with an untenable situation. You'll make the right choice!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
It's probably one of the worst feelings in the world, parting ways with a friend. But it might be worse, living with an untenable situation. You'll make the right choice!
thank you, I really hope so
 

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I have invested alot of time (over 1 year) and hundreds of dollars into one for her feet, and the other we had a agreement where I help train her and she will be part mine witch I have been training her for many months.
Unless you have formally paid for them, have a part ownership contract or any receipts, legally there’s not a lot you can do. Unless she is offered for full sale and you are in a position to buy her.
Chipping in for vet bills does not constitute part ownership
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Unless you have formally paid for them, have a part ownership contract or any receipts, legally there’s not a lot you can do. Unless she is offered for full sale and you are in a position to buy her.
Chipping in for vet bills does not constitute part ownership
Its more than vet bills, its very complicated to explain without me sounding spoiled. Basically had no time for her and was neglecting her and gave her to me, and there's also a form of contract so yea
 

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Its more than vet bills, its very complicated to explain without me sounding spoiled. Basically had no time for her and was neglecting her and gave her to me, and there's also a form of contract so yea
What exactly is the contract? If it’s not an actual legally binding document it means nothing
Time and effort and rehabilitation to an animal doesn’t make it yours, as much as I hate it. If it was that way I’d have a million animals
 

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I would put this in the category of "mi casa es su casa" in other words enjoy what I have to offer hospitality wise while you are here but please leave behind what's mine when you decide it's time to go.

If there is no legally binding contract then the horse does not belong to you. I assume the legal age to enter a binding contract is also 18 so unless you have reached that age or your parents signed then the horse is not yours in any part.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I would put this in the category of "mi casa es su casa" in other words enjoy what I have to offer hospitality wise while you are here but please leave behind what's mine when you decide it's time to go.

If there is no legally binding contract then the horse does not belong to you. I assume the legal age to enter a binding contract is also 18 so unless you have reached that age or you'd parents signed then the horse is not yours in any part.
yes but like I said before the horse I fully own was neglected and ignored for a long time so she gave her to me because she doesn't have time for her, and the other one we have a verbal contract, I know most people think that a verbal contract isn't the best but its been working for us, and I don't want to just leave her because she is my heart horse
 

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Gonna be blunt, and do not mean to offend.

You are a predictable paycheck. The longer she can keep you on basic beginner stuff, the more she will collect from you. You've shown her you are ready to move on, yet she won't "allow" it.
To me, it's pretty clear, you need your own horse (meaning you own it) and somewhere else to ride.
 

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yes but like I said before the horse I fully own was neglected and ignored for a long time so she gave her to me because she doesn't have time for her, and the other one we have a verbal contract, I know most people think that a verbal contract isn't the best but its been working for us, and I don't want to just leave her because she is my heart horse
If she is fine about giving you a horse, you need a bill of sale and a real contract. Unfortunately people can be nasty, she could turn around and deny ever saying anything and take her horses back. If it’s written down, signed and dated then there is nothing she can do about it. Please get a contract, if she’s happy enough to give you a horse she will be happy enough to sign a contract.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
If she is fine about giving you a horse, you need a bill of sale and a real contract. Unfortunately people can be nasty, she could turn around and deny ever saying anything and take her horses back. If it’s written down, signed and dated then there is nothing she can do about it. Please get a contract, if she’s happy enough to give you a horse she will be happy enough to sign a contract.
Ok yes I suppose some people can be quite nasty sometimes
 
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