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18y/o 15.3hh purebred registered morgan mare trueblack with star, 12yo blood bay warmblood mare 17hh
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Discussion Starter · #21 ·
Gonna be blunt, and do not mean to offend.

You are a predictable paycheck. The longer she can keep you on basic beginner stuff, the more she will collect from you. You've shown her you are ready to move on, yet she won't "allow" it.
To me, it's pretty clear, you need your own horse (meaning you own it) and somewhere else to ride.
ok I appreciate the honesty thank you, and I would love to have my own horse I buy with my money but horses are very expensive
 

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ok I appreciate the honesty thank you, and I would love to have my own horse I buy with my money but horses are very expensive
Then, I'm sorry to say, you can't own a horse. Buying a horse is not the expensive part, the expensive part is paying every month for the maintenance, and affording the extra bills, specially in these following years when prices for everything are going up, expect a significant raise in cost for everything at least for the next year, probably the following year too.

If you can't afford to double monthly expenses of maintaining a horse right now (at least double, it might come to more), I wouldn't buy a horse.

Others have already told you, verbal contracts are worth nothing. You have paid extra, you have been given expectations but nothing written, if you can afford it in the new place, try to get something written before leaving to take the horse with you, but expect to get nothing, a hard life lesson, sorry .

If you cannot afford owning a horse, just move on, see all the extra expenses you have incurred in as paying for a part-lease or full-lease (keep in mind that in those situations paying vet bills usually come with the agreement, specially in a full-lease contract) and look for a part-lease or full-lease in the new place, but this time knowing you can't get fully attached to the horse and you can't consider it yours. Look at it from this point of view: riding different horses improves your horsemanship, and you get to appreciate the good qualities of more than one horse, and learn to deal with the drawbacks of more than one.

Sorry, but that's life, that's not what you want to hear, but it is the reality of what you are dealing with.
 

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I just feel like with the yard im at now my riding isn't progressing and I feel slightly embarrassed about it, like i've been riding constantly for over a year and on and off over the years so in total about 3-4 years, but my trainer wont let me do what I want to do and she wont let me go faster than trot, so I've taken it into my own hands and have been training myself, in two weeks training myself I've progressed more than in a year with my trainer. I'm now cantering and jumping around 2 feet, but with her she BARELY lets me do trot poles. I've tried bringing this issue to my trainers attention but whenever I bring it up she just changes the subject or says, "once the ground dries up", or "I dont think your ready" or things like that, even though the ground IS dries up, and I KNOW I'm ready. So what do I do?!
Yea I know I just couldn't handle it, riding is getting so boring because I'm not aloud to go past trot, and its just so repetitive everyday doing small bits of riding in circles me and my horses are getting bored.
I have invested alot of time (over 1 year) and hundreds of dollars into one for her feet, and the other we had a agreement where I help train her and she will be part mine witch I have been training her for many months.
Its more than vet bills, its very complicated to explain without me sounding spoiled. Basically had no time for her and was neglecting her and gave her to me, and there's also a form of contract so yea
I think there's a lot more to this story than we are being made aware of. Every story also has two sides. If you have truly been riding consistently for a year then there are reasons I'm sure why you are riding at the level you are at. If all you've done is ride 30 to 45 minutes once a week chances are you haven't gained the skills you think you have to progress the way you expect. We all progress at different rates depending on our goals and what we've been training for. Adding in rides here and there to come up with 3 or 4 years worth of riding isn't the same as riding 2 to 3 times a week for that amount of time. It sounds like you were given an opportunity to ride which your parents pay for and your trainer has taken you under her wing to give you more than they provided but it isn't enough so you are here looking for advice to accomplish what, I'm not sure of, as your parents are footing your bills and your trainer it sounds is being quite generous with her horses allowing you extra time without compensation. I highly doubt you've paid hundreds over the last year for vet/farrier bills from the way your threads have progressed. You also aren't "training" a horse at the level you say your instructor has you. Accusing your trainer of neglect is pretty serious. There's a big difference in not having time to ride one of many and truly neglecting an animal. I'd probably use the word entitled and wonder what your parents or trainer would say if they saw these posts.
 

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Discussion Starter · #24 ·
I think there's a lot more to this story than we are being made aware of. Every story also has two sides. If you have truly been riding consistently for a year then there are reasons I'm sure why you are riding at the level you are at. If all you've done is ride 30 to 45 minutes once a week chances are you haven't gained the skills you think you have to progress the way you expect. We all progress at different rates depending on our goals and what we've been training for. Adding in rides here and there to come up with 3 or 4 years worth of riding isn't the same as riding 2 to 3 times a week for that amount of time. It sounds like you were given an opportunity to ride which your parents pay for and your trainer has taken you under her wing to give you more than they provided but it isn't enough so you are here looking for advice to accomplish what, I'm not sure of, as your parents are footing your bills and your trainer it sounds is being quite generous with her horses allowing you extra time without compensation. I highly doubt you've paid hundreds over the last year for vet/farrier bills from the way your threads have progressed. You also aren't "training" a horse at the level you say your instructor has you. Accusing your trainer of neglect is pretty serious. There's a big difference in not having time to ride one of many and truly neglecting an animal. I'd probably use the word entitled and wonder what your parents or trainer would say if they saw these posts.
No I ride everyday a week two different horses for 2+ hours, trail rides, around the farm across the road, arena work, just a little of a lot of things. And we don't need to pay for farrier because I know how to rasp horses feet and what I cant do my trainer does, she very good farrier work and has been doing it for 30+ years. And the horse I'm "training" as you said had not been ridden in 7+ years and the last she was ridden was when she was 5 and still green, so yes I'am training her (she is 12) And the other horse that is mine is 18 but also had not been ridden in 6+ years and the last ride on her was a little kid who fell off so she was very spooky, when I started with her, her feet were extremely overgrown, her coat was packed with mud, her tail was tangled and her mane to, and she was hard to catch. And now with consistent work and 2+ hour rides almost everyday (she gets time off) and lots of basic ground work, anyone with riding experience of high spirited horses could ride her. And my parents don't give me any money to pay for her I pay with my own money that I work hard for, or if I don't have enough money I work it off by poo picking padocks, helping fix fences, just like random stuff around the farm.
 

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Discussion Starter · #25 ·
Then, I'm sorry to say, you can't own a horse. Buying a horse is not the expensive part, the expensive part is paying every month for the maintenance, and affording the extra bills, specially in these following years when prices for everything are going up, expect a significant raise in cost for everything at least for the next year, probably the following year too.

If you can't afford to double monthly expenses of maintaining a horse right now (at least double, it might come to more), I wouldn't buy a horse.

Others have already told you, verbal contracts are worth nothing. You have paid extra, you have been given expectations but nothing written, if you can afford it in the new place, try to get something written before leaving to take the horse with you, but expect to get nothing, a hard life lesson, sorry .

If you cannot afford owning a horse, just move on, see all the extra expenses you have incurred in as paying for a part-lease or full-lease (keep in mind that in those situations paying vet bills usually come with the agreement, specially in a full-lease contract) and look for a part-lease or full-lease in the new place, but this time knowing you can't get fully attached to the horse and you can't consider it yours. Look at it from this point of view: riding different horses improves your horsemanship, and you get to appreciate the good qualities of more than one horse, and learn to deal with the drawbacks of more than one.

Sorry, but that's life, that's not what you want to hear, but it is the reality of what you are dealing with.
I know the costs of owning a horse I've had one in the past but it had to be sold (outgrew and she was practically wild when we were told she was halter broke, with basic saddle training) after that my parents gave up on buying horses, and that's when I met my trainer. I would love for it to be as easy as "just moving on" but its so difficult because I met my heart horse at my trainers and If you met from horses in general, Horses are like my whole life, I love riding and training and even just hanging out with them.
 

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I know the costs of owning a horse I've had one in the past but it had to be sold (outgrew and she was practically wild when we were told she was halter broke, with basic saddle training) after that my parents gave up on buying horses, and that's when I met my trainer. I would love for it to be as easy as "just moving on" but its so difficult because I met my heart horse at my trainers and If you met from horses in general, Horses are like my whole life, I love riding and training and even just hanging out with them.
The bottom line is you're not really in a position to make a lot of choices that involve money. I'm assuming you're a minor and still in the care of your parents. You've found a place where you can ride two horses a day, and at least get to call them "yours" even though that doesn't sound entirely accurate.

You want to progress to doing more in lessons than your trainer is allowing, but a year of riding isn't that long. And it sounds like both of the horses that you ride aren't exactly reliable school horses that will pack you around at a nice canter (since you say you are the first one to have ridden either of them in years and that you're "training" one of them). You really need to learn how to ride on a well-schooled horse first and then you can take on the challenge of working with a less educated mount.

For now, I suggest you stay where you are and keep working hard and proving to your trainer that you are ready to canter. Let her know how determined you are...show her how determined you are. I remember being just like you when I was a kid taking lessons. I wanted to be like the other girls who were cantering and jumping and showing. I had cantered a few times in my lessons in the ring, and one day the barn owner allowed me to ride one of the school horses just for fun with the other girls...no lesson, no instructor there. I decided to canter out in the jump field and I may have even tried to go over a little cross-rail. The next thing I knew I was unable to stop the mare, had lost my balance and was nearly hanging off the side, and it wasn't until we reached the barn that she stopped and I slid off, my heart racing.

I learned my lesson. I wasn't as "ready" as I thought, and suddenly I knew why my trainer was forcing me to go slowly. She was an excellent trainer and eventually we cantered and jumped and I got my own horse (who was green and wild) and he and I learned a ton together and went on to be very successful in eventing. And through it all, I never stopped taking lessons. Even when I started teaching lessons, I was still taking lessons.

Sometimes you have to trust your trainer. Even when she's not letting you do what you want. There is most likely a reason...one that you may not realize yet. But definitely talk to her. Ask her what you need to be doing as a rider to prove that you're ready to canter. Then work on whatever she tells you. Work at it and show her how dedicated you are to being a great rider.
 

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Discussion Starter · #27 ·
The bottom line is you're not really in a position to make a lot of choices that involve money. I'm assuming you're a minor and still in the care of your parents. You've found a place where you can ride two horses a day, and at least get to call them "yours" even though that doesn't sound entirely accurate.

You want to progress to doing more in lessons than your trainer is allowing, but a year of riding isn't that long. And it sounds like both of the horses that you ride aren't exactly reliable school horses that will pack you around at a nice canter (since you say you are the first one to have ridden either of them in years and that you're "training" one of them). You really need to learn how to ride on a well-schooled horse first and then you can take on the challenge of working with a less educated mount.

For now, I suggest you stay where you are and keep working hard and proving to your trainer that you are ready to canter. Let her know how determined you are...show her how determined you are. I remember being just like you when I was a kid taking lessons. I wanted to be like the other girls who were cantering and jumping and showing. I had cantered a few times in my lessons in the ring, and one day the barn owner allowed me to ride one of the school horses just for fun with the other girls...no lesson, no instructor there. I decided to canter out in the jump field and I may have even tried to go over a little cross-rail. The next thing I knew I was unable to stop the mare, had lost my balance and was nearly hanging off the side, and it wasn't until we reached the barn that she stopped and I slid off, my heart racing.

I learned my lesson. I wasn't as "ready" as I thought, and suddenly I knew why my trainer was forcing me to go slowly. She was an excellent trainer and eventually we cantered and jumped and I got my own horse (who was green and wild) and he and I learned a ton together and went on to be very successful in eventing. And through it all, I never stopped taking lessons. Even when I started teaching lessons, I was still taking lessons.

Sometimes you have to trust your trainer. Even when she's not letting you do what you want. There is most likely a reason...one that you may not realize yet. But definitely talk to her. Ask her what you need to be doing as a rider to prove that you're ready to canter. Then work on whatever she tells you. Work at it and show her how dedicated you are to being a great rider.
I get what you mean and I know the way I'm telling this "story" is extremely confusing so I'm gonna just tell you exactly what happened and be straight forward with you. two years ago my parents bought me a wild mare that was supposedly halter trained and had been saddled before (big surprise she was neither, not even close)and as you would assume I was very disappointed, but that's when I met my trainer she got me riding a 26 year old percheron x qh, and she was very calm and laid back and a perfect horse to begin riding and learning on, I took it very slow in the beginning and stayed on the basics of walk and ground work, learning to lunge and to control a horse at the walk for 6-ish months before learning trot, which I also took very slow for maybe 6 months as well, until she introduced me to my horse now, Dancer who is a higher spirited horse that I also took slow with in the beginning she is a lot harder to control because shes younger than the other horse and she is more challenging. so I've been riding her for 7+ months and just recently I have started HELPING to train the horse I am part owner of, Lily. shes very green and yes I did say I was training her, but I am helping my trainer train her, but I kinda took on the main role of it and to try it myself, she obviously helps me with what I don't know or cant do, and I think I know why she taking things very slow with me, because I remind her of herself when she was young. She said that she was a lot like me when she was young "adventurous, young, and kinda stupid" she obviously didn't mean anything in a rude way she just ment "I'm young and still learning and dont have alot of experience" she had a really bad fall when she was younger and hurt herself badly and she doesn't want to see me in that position. I know this story is different from what I said before, but forget anything else I said, THIS is the true almost full story. Any other questions just ask, just pls try not to be rude about it 😂 thanks.
 

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I'm going to be blunt also.

You don't own any horses.

You share time and ride someone else's animals and have no real ownership that can be proven. If you chose to attempt to change barns/trainers you'll realize exactly how much control of this situation you really have. I'm sorry to put this in such rude terms but we have all seen circumstances like these before and they always end with a lot of tears and hurt feelings because nothing was put in legal terms so things are very hazy and uncertain between two parties. You need a written, signed bill of sale and a formal agreement before you can do anything. Sorry to be so rude but these situations are common and almost always end badly. Sorry.
 
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Discussion Starter · #29 ·
I'm going to be blunt also.

You don't own any horses.

You share time and ride someone else's animals and have no real ownership that can be proven. If you chose to attempt to change barns/trainers you'll realize exactly how much control of this situation you really have. I'm sorry to put this in such rude terms but we have all seen circumstances like these before and they always end with a lot of tears and hurt feelings because nothing was put in legal terms so things are very hazy and uncertain between two parties. You need a written, signed bill of sale and a formal agreement before you can do anything. Sorry to be so rude but these situations are common and almost always end badly. Sorry.
No I know, and I know your not trying to be rude your just stating facts. I know and I don't want to switch barns/trainers but I just feel like for the time I've been riding I'm behind everyone else at my age/ for the time riding. And I know I should get a bill of sale but I don't know how to ask my trainer for that I feel like shed refuse or something.
 

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No I know, and I know your not trying to be rude your just stating facts. I know and I don't want to switch barns/trainers but I just feel like for the time I've been riding I'm behind everyone else at my age/ for the time riding. And I know I should get a bill of sale but I don't know how to ask my trainer for that I feel like shed refuse or something.
Well, if she'd refuse a piece of paper (bill of sale), she'll refuse to let you take a horse.

If your trainer isn't moving you forward, I'd be compelled to ask what to do the improve. Exactly, what do I need to work on? I'm retired now but I spent years training people as a profession and each person I worked with was instructed in what was accomplished and what were remaining issues as part of a almost daily review. "You can't hit the target if you don't know what you're aiming at."
 

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Discussion Starter · #31 ·
Well, if she'd refuse a piece of paper (bill of sale), she'll refuse to let you take a horse.

If your trainer isn't moving you forward, I'd be compelled to ask what to do the improve. Exactly, what do I need to work on? I'm retired now but I spent years training people as a profession and each person I worked with was instructed in what was accomplished and what were remaining issues as part of a almost daily review. "You can't hit the target if you don't know what you're aiming at."
Ok thank you, I'll talk to my trainer and see what I should work on, see if It's something I'm doing wrong or she just wants it to go slow.
 
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