[Cheshire]

This is going to seem stupid to a lot of you but I feel like having an "arrrgh moment". Not looking for advice or anything, just want to be human and rant on a forum with like-minded people.

Ok so we've been having snow systems pass over us one after another, leaving feet of the white stuff in their wake. Another doozy is hitting us as we speak.

Temps have been in the negative range and so on. So I instructed our BO to give Lilly a little extra hay, seeing as she is outdoors and still doesn't have much of a winter coat on. I know this is something one shouldn't normally have to tell a BO, but as some of you may recall from my feeding thread earlier on, it is slightly different with her. She gives her horses sweet corn grain on colder nights to "warm them up", and no hay period. I know this is faulty reasoning but she is set in her ways and I'm not going to tell her how to feed her lot, as long as she does what I want in regards to Lilly.

So we have instructed her NO GRAIN, just the hay and cubes thank you! And what does my mother hear upon calling her the other night to check up on Lilly? That she is being given corn grain in the evening!

Mum reminded the BO that this was not supposed to happen, apparently the response was "well I didn't give her any today...". They couldn't talk longer and she was supposed to ring us back, but it hasn't happened. So you can bet I'll be getting in touch with her in the morning to set a few things straight.

All because we pay her to take care of our horse, does not mean she gets to willy-nilly decide what to feed her. How clearer can we be? "We do not want her to be fed grain." Do I have to carve a wooden sign and bolt it to her fence?

She may be our first horse but we are not stupid! I've done my research, I want her fed hay **** it. You stick to your old wivestales...I will stick to reason. Hay warms them up. Hay keeps them HEALTHY. NOT grain.

AURGH.

So. Yeah. I am frustrated and the fact that I haven't been able to see Lilly as often as I would due to the crappy weather is only making it worse (they are presently snowed-in down at the BO's place). I want to know I can trust this woman...we buy the bales and transport them ourselves. She's there all the time, it is not a difficult task to wear some gloves, break a flake, and toss it into Lilly's paddock.

I didn't even think to check under the tarp last I was there to see how much had been used. *headdesk*

Let me say this again -- AURGH. Some people!!

I'm sure she will do what we ask, but this little incident and aroused my wrath. For the second time, do not feed my horse grain all because you think it's good for them. We do not pay you to go behind our backs.

I need to know I can trust her!


She is great in all other respects, but....!!! :evil:

That is all.

 

[themacpack]

Frankly, I'd be looking for a new facility. If she can't be trusted to follow your instructions, she can't really be trusted with your horse, imo. (I know you weren't looking for feedback, but I couldn't help myself, lol)

 

[Cheshire]

I know, it's okay, it is the same advice I'd give to anyone else in the situation. I would very much like to move her to a different facility, but it's just not plausible for us right at this moment.

 

[Kashmere]

Wow that's not fun!
I'd definitely talk to her again!
This is unacceptable, seeing it is not her horse! :x

 

[Jessabel]

That must be really frustrating. I don't get why she would think that extra grain will do the trick instead of hay... that's kind of common knowledge among horse people. Good luck getting her to feed Lily like she's supposed to.

 

[Cheshire]

Yeah. It's unbelievably retarded. But not so surprising. Out here in the bl**dy desert a lot of people are old-fashioned...and a lot of them just feed cubes when there is hay readily and fairly cheaply available everywhere...because cubes are less messy. Yeah. Unsurprising.

My mother has decided that first she is going to talk to our vet to CONFIRM that feeding grain is not necessary so she can talk to her about this with the advice of an expert, since I don't think our BO is going to listen to us at any rate. Oh, this is our first horse! We must be completely clueless!

The parental unit then told me, "If the vet says to feed her the corn grain, then that's we'll do, and we won't say anything and (BO's name) will be none the wiser."

What the carp, mother. I'm like, "Well HOPEFULLY the vet will agree with us, else we shouldn't be paying her!" And mother's like, "Listen, you are NO expert, shut up, we're going to do what she says, blahblahblah." (Ok, she didn't actually tell me to shut it, but in so many words. :/)

Basically this means if our vet is weird about this as well and says it's fine for our BO to put Lilly on grain all because it's cold outside, and cut back on the hay, that's what mother's going along with. :shock::shock:

What the deuce! I've SHOWN her your replies, she has READ the books and the vet-approved nutrition articles I've dug up! No, I'm not an expert but I'm pretty darn well educated! And has she bothered to do any of this research herself? Heck no! How dare she tell me I'm just a clueless git!

*ahem*

Our vet will likely tell my mother what I've been saying to do all along, but in the case she doesn't...just whatever. I'll be at an out-of-state college in less than a year and she can have the frickin' horse all to herself to ruin however way she wants. Curse these people who won't give me an inch of credit! I guess I wrote all of your replies and all those articles and made up all that information MYSELF.

I feel better now. In any event Lilly will be moved to a new place around next month/Feb. This lady runs a big training barn and specialises in arabians, so the situation will change.

I just...it is SO frustrating when people won't listen to you. That is the point of this reply, I guess.

I have never, ever given anyone around me reason to doubt my advice...I don't make stuff up, I back it with research. And yet all because I am the youngest (20 for crying out loud) in this little circle of adults, that automatically means I don't know what the fling I am talking about. Figures.

 

[MN Tigerstripes]

That must be really frustrating. I don't get why she would think that extra grain will do the trick instead of hay... that's kind of common knowledge among horse people. Good luck getting her to feed Lily like she's supposed to.

This is a EXTREMELY common attitude among horse people. No one set is worse than the other in regards to this very common misconception. I don't hear a ton of it on here, but when I did my internship interviews I heard it a lot and from all types of people. I think it stems from the words "corn is a hot feed" which is about the energy levels. People don't really think about the fermentation process in the hindgut as producing heat to keep the horse warm, they think energy = warmth. *bangs head against wall*

Thankfully, more and more research has been done and is being done on horses and all of it is pointing to hay/forages are better all around for horses than grain. Someday I won't have to bite my tounge.. :lol:

 

[IceCreamsAndPonies]

Ehh, I'd be going nuts in this situation. I've got no advice that you haven't already been given, apart from stay stronge. I hope things work out for both you and your horse.

 

[Cheshire]

MN Tigerstripes - This is EXACTLY what our BO feels. Corn is a hot feed! It must keep them toasty-warm in subzero temps!

Icecream - Thank you! It is taking most of my resolve to not eat my pillow right now. But being able to come here and rant it about it really, really helps.

<3

 

[NorthernMama]

Do I have to carve a wooden sign and bolt it to her fence?

Might not be a bad idea. Remember she IS set in her ways and maybe daily reminder at your horse's place would be all she needs. If everything else is good, you may just be trying to break her of a habit she's had since childhood.

 

[Cheshire]

Well, I do appreciate that she actually TOLD us that has been feeding grain...despite the fact that we expressly said not to...but eh.

It's just...Lilly has been on cubes and grass hay for the past nine years of her life. She is healthy. According to her vet records, she has always been healthy. Why does this BO suddenly think she needs to change stuff.

I am protective over my horse, I admit. Hearing that someone is just doing what they wish with her despite our instructions, while I have not been able to see her for nearly a week...irks me. Am I overreacting? ach.

 

[NorthernMama]

You are not over-reacting. She is YOUR horse and YOU pay the BO. Unless there is some kind of odd contract that would give the BO complete care and control of your horse you are definitely in the right and the BO is out of line.

So, the difficulty becomes in maintaining a good relationship with your BO. Maybe you could even ask her if she would appreciate a flag (instead of a blatant sign) of some kind on your horse's stall as a reminder without her having to worry about what other people might or might not think. She may have done this completely by accident; doesn't make it right, but it means that there may be a solution to the problem.

 

[Cheshire]

Oh, it's not an accident. She just refuses to think that there just might be other ways of feeding a horse other than her own system. We told her early on, around when I posted the other thread, that we wanted no grain. She said yeah, ok. So we thought everything was hunky-dory. But now it is known that she has begun giving grain despite this because "the horses are cold." I guess the weather gives her an excuse to not keep her word.

It's a normal contract, nothing strange that would allow this. Just a battle of wills. In any event I am relieved Lilly is going to be moved, but in the meantime I trust our BO just a little bit less and want her out of there just a little bit quicker.

But like I said...if my mother gets her way and the vet turns out to be not as reliable as I thought, nothing's going to change. Lilly will still be moved...but in the meantime the BO will be allowed to give her grain, which I just think is wrong imo. I thought m'mam was smarter than this.

 

[whitetrashwarmblood]

I have worked with people at a stable who were like this. I even quit working there, and moved my horse because it got so bad. They don't respect the boarders wishes, along with other things.
It's either their way or the highway. We also had horses/ponies who didn't need grain, at all. Perfectly healthy without it. But she will completely ignore everyone else, and do it anyway. It got to the point where this lady would feed the ponies a FULL SCOOP of grain because she felt sorry for them when they watched her feed the other horses their grain. *slaps forehead*

If you have no way of moving your horse to a more trusted stable. The only thing you can do is complain, and a LOT of it. There's nothing that scares barn managers more than b!tchy boarders. A happy boarder = A happy barn manager. I'm not saying you have to be evil about it, but she needs to respect your wishes.

 

[themacpack]

Pure and simple, this is YOUR horse - YOU are the one who makes the decisions.

 

[MN Tigerstripes]

I hope your vet is a good one. Have you shown your mom the Heat Index of hay/fiber over that of protein/grain? Or even your barn owner? I know it's pretty pointless to try and change her mind, but maybe some actual literature would make her think a little bit.

Or I could be living in a dream world...

 

[AlmostThere]

Just to play devil's advocate, I'm sure the BO means well. She has probably been frustrated in the past by boarders who really don't know what is in their horse's best interests.

I am not saying you are wrong about the hay or are one of those ignorant boarders, however, in her mind you are wrong and she is doing right by your horse.

I'm glad you are moving Lilly, because this does seem like one of those differences in philosophy that probably can't be resolved. You believe your way is best for the horse, and she believes her way is best for the horse. It's not like she is being cheap or lazy or trying to rip you off.

You are better off at a barn where your feeding philosophies and the BO's feeding philosophies mesh better.

 

[Cheshire]

AlmostThere - yeah. She is not a bad person at all, heart of gold really. Just set in her ways. I guess I flew off the handle a bit. I've been stressing out about things and now it turns out I can't even count on our BO to do as we ask in regards to feeding? She has three other horses to look after and feed how she likes, why can't she just let it be with Lilly and let us...the owners...decide what to feed her, instead of continuing to go against our wishes.

In any event, we are are looking at two other places to move her. I am not particularly looking forward to having to tell our BO that we are moving out...honestly I like her a lot, but...I am, personally, not 100% comfortable with the situation as it is now. It can't be like that. After a small discussion this evening the parental unit seems to feel the same.

 

[sillybunny11486]

Its good you are looking for another stable. I brought my horse to college with me, because I would be to worried about her at home. My mom always listened to me when I came to horses, because she knew I did alot of research. By the time I was 16 I made most of the decisions about my horse, of course we always talked to our vet.

My mom trusted me about alot of things, because I went throught alot with my first horse. He had injuries all the time, some serious. He had a very hard time keeping weight. Your mom just needs some time to learn to trust you, that you know what you're doing with regards to your mare.

I give grain in small amounts once a day, to supplement hay, because its fortified. (12% Pellets only) You may want to look into a ration balancer supplement, since your mare is only getting hay.

 

[Cheshire]

She's getting hay and a ration of alfalfa cubes in the morning. She's been on this mixture for years and isn't suffering, lol. I assume we will need to start her on some sort of grain when she begins conditioning for endurance in the spring...more research is needed on that front. But at the present time she simply doesn't require it.

Man oh man, I wish I could take her to college with me!!