[horses4life43]

I am in a whole lot of trouble! So when I got back home from college at the begginning of the month I spent the night with my boyfriend. Please no one judge me I've been judged enough for not waiting until marriage. Well long story short I think I'm preganant. I don't know what to do my mom will KILL me when she finds out and I'm not exaggerating. I don't know I could be wrong. I sure hope I am. Any advice?? Please!

 

[MN Tigerstripes]

Have you taken a pregnancy test? That's your first step at this point. You could just be late (I'm assuming that's why you're concerned) because of the stress over the holidays.

Wait, how long ago was this? The beginning of January? Or December? If it's January you may be able to get the morning after pill (it's effective up to 3 days I think)....

 

[my2geldings]

What makes you think you are (besides the obvious)?

Not much you can do. You'll have to to do a pregnancy test to know. Until then I'm not sure there is anything else you can do. Make sure you sit down and let your boyfriend know what's going on. I hope he is a supportive man.

 

[Spastic_Dove]

Breathe.
Just take a deep breath. If it has been less than 72 hours, go get yourself plan B.

You won't be able to tell right away, I think it takes 12 days to detect it? Im not sure. Get a pregnancy test at a clinic. They will do a urine analysis and if that is positive, a blood test and then you will know for sure. That is step one. Don't worry about anyone but yourself just yet.

 

[farmpony84]

Yikes. Take a test... and then do some soul searching... and then advice can be offered.....Not sure what else to say on this one.... accept... It happens. People fall in love and if you haven't seen each other in a while, I can see how you could easily get lost in the moment... especially a passionate one.

 

[horses4life43]

Sometime is december I cant remember the day I have it written down somewhere I'll find it I'm packing right now so yea..... And yea main reason is because I'm late. Ugh I hate myself! Yeesh and I was in the chat to see if I could find someone to talk to and some girl went off on me calling me stupid which I already know is true....

 

[horseoffire]

Take the test that is the only way you will be able to tell. If you want to talk you can pm me.

 

[horses4life43]

I did and it came back positive. Now I'm crying! I completley ruined my life I worked so hard to get into vet school. I really hope it's wrong.

 

[JustDressageIt]

Hey, your life is far from over!! There are many options that you can consider. My first bit of advice is to go to a Planned Parenthood clinic and talk with someone, or go to your GP and get it confirmed with a blood test. You need someone in your life who is going to be completely supportive of you and your decisions - whatever you decide. I do suggest you tell your boyfriend, I think (in my personal opinion) that he deserves to know - that's just me.
You have options. If you are pregnant, you have 3 "big" options: you can keep it, you can adopt it out, or you can abort. Nobody but you can decide which is the best for you and the baby. You cannot let anyone make you feel bad for considering ANY of the options - it is YOUR decision alone. It is early enough in your pregnancy to consider any of the options, in my very personal opinion.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this in the first place - it's a very scary thing to think you're pregnant when you're not planning for one. Your response is completely natural. Breathe, make yourself some tea, and realize that this is not the end of your life, it's simply a different path. No decision you make is the wrong one.
Allow yourself to cry, but don't think you're alone, because you're not.

 

[RusticWildFire]

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Now the next step is to start planning. For sure talk to your boyfriend and decide what the both of you want to do. And a second test wouldn't hurt. Sometimes they are wrong.

Your life is not ruined. You have options. Just remember babies really aren't the end of the world. They are a blessing. They are wonderful little bundles of joy. But you also have the option of adoption. There are SO many wonderful people out there waiting for a baby that would be more than thrilled to have the baby. We are here for you to vent to, listen to, talk to, whatever you need. Things will be okay. They may change, but your parents may be more accepting than you think. You never know. I've known people who thought the exact same thing and while they were disappointed at first, they eventually became accepting and actually overjoyed.

Also I meant to add in here but pressed submit too early, there is the option of abortion. As JDI said, it is your decision. There is no right or wrong. It's all about what is best for you. Just be sure you think it through thoroughly because whatever you decide is permanent. (Abortion, Adoption, etc.) Although you could decide to keep the baby and then give it up later.

Now I'm rambling though. Just trying to get it all out there.

*hugs* You aren't alone! It will be okay.

 

[horses4life43]

Thanks I'm going to wait until I go back to college to go to a doctor. I grew up in to small of a town someone would see me. I'm going back tomorrow so I'll call on the road and make an appointment. I already did tell my boyfriend. I love him so much I always knew he was the right one. He of course is happy as can be. Figures.... Thanks guys you all have been very helpful! *HUGS!!*

 

[horses4life43]

Rusticwildfire about my parents my mom is strict on waiting til marriage so we'll see...

 

[RusticWildFire]

I already did tell my boyfriend. I love him so much I always knew he was the right one. He of course is happy as can be. Figures....

That's great! That's a super-huge thing to have on your side. He can be your support

Good luck at the appointment. Just relax in the mean time. It's the best thing you can do.

 

[Walkamile]

I think JDI and RW gave you wonderful advice. Just breathe and yes, your boyfriend should be told. He needs to be with you through whatever decision is made.

Keeping you in my thoughts. It's not the end of your life, just seems like it right now.

 

[Wallaby]

Rusticwildfire about my parents my mom is strict on waiting til marriage so we'll see...

I obviously don't know your mom or anything, but could she be that strict because she made some mistakes when she was young and thinks that she can keep you from the same mistakes by being really strict about that sort of thing?
My best friend's mom was like that, very overprotective and extremely worried about my bff having sex before marriage and all that. Well it turned out that when her mom was younger, she had a crazy life. She did all sorts of things that when my bff told me, I was literally like :shock::shock::shock::shock::shock:. Her mom was so strict because she was terrified that her daughter might end up doing the same things as she did.
Your mom might be more supportive than you think. She might not, of course, but she just might.

*hugs* I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

 

[horses4life43]

Thanks again everyone!! He's actually here right now we went to a movie earlier. We saw did you hear about the Morgans it was good.

 

[horses4life43]

Wallaby- my mom is very strict n that I know a little about her past and her mom was strict on her too. I have told my. BFF only who's also my roommate.

 

[Honeysuga]

You guys aren't planning on slipping away into the "pregnancy protection program" now after seeing that movie are you???...hehe that was a joke btw, a bad one mind you, but hopefully a bit of humor in the situation....

From someone with a very recent personal experience with unplanned pregnancy, my advice to you is just make the best of the situation. I panicked and blamed myself and went into hysterics for days(though my situation was a little different...). No one deserves to go through that, it was not a mistake it was an accident.

And about your mother, you are in college, you are an adult.I am no one to judge your relationhip with her but this is my advice to you, on behalf of your own feelings. Even if it goes against her morals and rules, obviously premarital sex isn't against yours, you should let her know that you expect her to not judge you based on her own morals, that you are an adult. This is where tough love comes in, I know she is your mother, but you should not have to be ashamed just because she is against pre marital sex, you need to let her know that she needs to be there to support you, her child, and put her own feelings aside.

Depending on which route you go I would definitely be willing to give you some advice or even just talk to you a little more privately. Pm me if you would like to talk.

 

[horses4life43]

Okay I think I will because I don't really want to carry on and on here rather do it in a message. LOL that made me smile

 

[Honeysuga]

I am very happy that it did.