The Horse Forum banner

1 - 20 of 22 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
47 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
So I was away from horses for about 10 years and this year I got involved with them again. I am overweight and out of condition and was scared to death of getting on horses for a bit but I have gotten over that and seem to be doing better.

So I am riding with a group and I borrow horses from some people. I wanted to buy one of the horses but was told I couldn't so I just kept borrowing. Well my friends husband died and now she can't handle 4 horses so I offer to take 2 and care for them. Brought them home, rode, had fun, decided to ask again if I could buy one of them. Now I can buy him! Take him for pre purchase exam and he fails. So I decide to just foster him and care for him and love him without purchase.

So everything was going along nice. Got their feet done, had all their health taken care of, took good care of them. Owner wants to use them for her grandkids visit. Sure no prob! Take them back to her. One of the horses got hurt and she doesn't think he should come back to my place. Okay I'll just take the other. Take him home, continue to care for him, bought him boots, put him on arthritis meds, take really good care of him!

I decided to go against the vet and just buy this guy anyway. I know he is older, has issues, needs meds, can't do everything I want in a horse, but gosh dang it! I love him!!! Taking care of a horse can do that! So I tell her I will purchase him but I need to make payments. The next week she says I can't buy him for various reasons! Okay fine I will just keep caring for him but I am heart hurt now!

A few weeks later I had to go on a trip for a few weeks and rather then the horse staying at my place and me having someone come take care of him she wants him back. Take him back, go on my trip, I get a call while in a meeting and it is urgent! Can you text? Nope can't text, you need to call me right away! I am thinking the WORST!!! Called and found out she wats to retire the horse now and I can't have him back. He is in pain, cow kicking people, can't keep up with other horses on a trail ride, all kinds of things!

Well if you would keep him on his medicine that I paid for he would be better! He doesn't get fed the right stuff at the place you keep him if he gets fed at all! Plus you use different tack and he just generally doesn't seem to care for you! I didn't say any of that but I thought it!

So I accepted the fact that she wanted him to retire and he wasn't coming back to me. When I get back I find out that she has been using him for riding with her family and other things NOT retiring him! No big deal! WHATEVER! Not my horse!

So then she convinced me to use the horses for a trail ride and to take them back home with me so we can do an event the next day. I could wash them at my house to prepare for the event. Good idea because i would rather clean them up at my place then the place they stay at! I showed up to get them and they were both stocked up in the hind legs, both had bites all over them, and both have swollen faces and terribly runny poo! I KNOW the one guy is allergic to tons of stuff at the ranch he is at, that is one of the reasons he came home with me and went on allergy meds! I was LIVID!!! They looked horrible and the one guy had only been there for like 2 weeks! Neither horse had had their feet done in MONTHS! The one horse has shoes on and now his heels are starting to contract because the shoes are constricting growth.

You know what..... they should just stay with you because it is better for them, I can't really afford the board and care for all 4 of these horses! THEN!!!........ Well I need them back after the event but you can pick them back up in a couple days.

Now she is trying to get me to take the horses back. I am not going to! I am sick of the back and forth! I feel guilty for leaving the horses to that fate of not being cared for and stuff. I am sorry my friend is having financial difficulties. I am sorry she seems to be loosing her mind. But I can't take the abuse anymore! I gave them back after the event and told her all the things wrong with them and that she needed to care for them! Now I am trying to figure out how to let her know I am not coming to pick them up again.

I am sad, I am irritated, I am feeling guilty, I am just plain fed up! Thanks for letting me rant!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,311 Posts
Wow, you are a more patient person than me!


If you really want these two horses, which is admirable given their issues, then I'd probably send her, in writing via text/email a specific offer with the dollar amount and say you'd be happy to have them with a formal bill of sale to transfer them into your name at $x, arriving permanently at your place on Y date. Otherwise, you'll not be taking care of them going forward.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
250 Posts
I know what it is like to fall in love with a horse. But my practical advise is to not buy this horse, it is a bad idea. Find a sound, well broke and trained horse to fall in love with. And you will have a horse that you can ride for years and years without the great expense of maintaining and medicating a horse you cannot ride. And welcome to the forum, you will always get horsey/human companionship here.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
48,585 Posts
I'm so sorry you got jerked around by your heartstrings. But, I agree with you that you must not allow this to continue. Leave the horses with this 'friend', but try to keep an eye on them, and if they are being seriously neglected, consider contacting Animal Control and reporting the abuse, . . . if it is serious enough for them to do something about it. Otherwise, you will have to accept the sad fact that many, many animals live with humans that offer them a very sub-par level of care. This is just how it is.



If you can , give yourself the gift of taking on the horse that is right for you, after shopping around with care. You deserve it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,260 Posts
I am with @AragoASB and @tinyliny. I know you love those horses, and have a lot invested, but you also need to do what’s best for you as you don’t own them. You gave them a better quality of life for a time, and you knew and loved them, and truly that can be enough.

A sound broke horse could give you many years, and if you shopped well you would love him too. You could have many adventures and save up some money for when it is him in need of arthritis meds or whatever age brings.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
47 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Thanks for all the positive thoughts! I am going to leave them but again I feel really bad! If she presses I will tell her the only way I will take the one is if he is signed over to me to own him. Then other one she will not part with because her grandkids come and ride him. When her husband died and I took both horses home with me, the family about had a cow! So I will let the family deal with the consequences of them not wanting to part with the horse. They live in another state and never came to visit anyway until the husband died.

She is an older woman and is not in the best mental health and I know that has SOMETHING to do with the situation but not everything and I just can't deal with it anymore! I am looking for a horse for myself now. I am waiting for the prison trained mustangs to go on auction in November and I hope to be able to afford to buy one of them!

I am glad I could come here and vent! It's hard to try and explain to non horse people!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
14,164 Posts
Everyone on this page is a whole nicer and more patient than I am. I'd have told her to get stuffed the first time she pulled her nonsense. I understand you have time and money invested in the horses and your "friend" (I'd also be cutting her loose because IMO she is not a friend) but there's a real hard boundary that keeps getting crossed here. I'm glad to see you're cutting your losses and moving on to a different horse(s). Find the one that's right for you and buy it and you can then do all the things you did for her horses, only they'll be for your horses and you'll get some return for the time & money. Run don't walk from this mess.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
619 Posts
It sounds like (I'm guessing here) maybe her side of it is her husband died, she's confused as to what to do.
She has four horses.
Can she care for two?
Could you adopt all four?
I assume you just want her two?
Me, I'd play hard ball. I'd maybe write down (brief notes) of choice(s)...her response (yes-no)...your response (yes-no).
That way you're prepared regardless of the outcome. As other's said...the worst scenario is what's going on NOW. You being jerked around, you paying money for horse(s) that aren't yours, etc.
It's certainly not working out and never will.
I would be assertive and say (in your way...she's YOUR "friend", you know her, etc)
"Here's the situation...these are the choices...what do you want to do".
Bottom line, it's an ultimatum. It's the final resolution to an ongoing problem and you're prepared for any outcome.
The hardball part is you play your trump card. "I'm getting a horse...I can adopt your two...I can properly care for them. If we do that they're signed over to me. They're no longer OUR horses, they're mine. If your answer is no, that's fine! No hard feelings. I will go elsewhere to get horse(s)."
Now the ball is in her court. Most times things happen for a reason, so if she says no it may be your blessing!

Sent from my SM-S205DL using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,925 Posts
I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's a difficult situation for all involved. I just wanted to add that if you do consider taking one of these horses back get a legal bill of sale. Take photos, make sure the check or cash is visible on the photos, put the bill of sale next to the horse and document that you are the legal owner of this particular horse. Your friend is having problems, seems like she is under pressure from family and may try to manipulate a "signed over" document.

Good luck with the auction, that seems like the better path to take.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,260 Posts
On a side note: I bought one of my horses at the auction. I guess since the movie came out right after that they became high priced! A couple of my friends went to buy one but they said they were up around 5 or 6k, and some higher.

Anyways, no biggie if you have the money. I think though that if I were to buy a broke mustang again I would go with a tip trainer. I personally would rather start one than deal with prior training, so I will just buy a young one from Palomino in November, but maybe the tip trainers are good.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
250 Posts
My trainer will not take on mules or mustangs because she says they are different form regular horses and not in a good way. That is all I know about it.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
13,661 Posts
I'm sorry you are being played like a fiddle... :|

Deal is up though...mentally you are prepared to walk away empty handed or with one or both of those animals...it is what it is going to be.
You know what they need and do well with, they were "yours" so no eye opening expenses to be caught off-guard about...
The owner on the other hand has had a eye-opener.
Put it in writing...
On your terms...
She plays by your rules and with your ball or you take all your toys and go home. :|

Either way you are horse searching.
She needs to unload 2 horses, those that you had at your home you are willing to take home and give a new healthy home and existence to.
If, IF you take them home they belong to you and you alone, not be borrowed by her grandchildren who come infrequently to ride, care for and pay the expenses of said animals...you don't want to hear it!
If you take on her animals knowing what you know and the limitations and costs associated with the animals this is what you are willing to pay for them...not a penny more.

Then leave it for her...
She either accepts your offer or you walk and she forever more is dealing with expenses of 4 horses when she can't truly afford them and knows it.
The animals will not be cared for as well, but they will be cared for if they are in a boarding situation because the barn can't not care for them and not be in trouble with law enforcement, period.
The level of care though is a different matter not of your concern...don't own it if you don't legally own the animal{s}...

I hope this works out whichever direction it heads toward for the best.
Either way, a horse is in your future and for that I offer Congratulations!!
:runninghorse2:...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
47 Posts
Discussion Starter #14
Alright I will update here....

I took the advice several of you gave. She called to find out when I would pick the horses up again. I told her flat out I wasn't coming. She didn't quite understand that?! I then told her I was looking at some horses from other people to purchase and she seemed more confused by that?! Don't I want the horse I have been fostering? UMMMM DUH! OF COURSE I WANT HIM BUT YOU TOLD ME HE CAN'T BE MINE!! I said I would not take him back unless she signed him over to me legally and finally! She said she would, no problem!! REALLY?! Okay lets do it NOW! She wrote up a bill of sale, signed it and I picked the horse up within the hour before her mind changed! I am having the brand inspector out today to change ownership to my name and get a lifetime brand inspection and transportation permit.

Now the not as good thing I did..... I did take the other horse back too just to foster and care for. My husband rides him and likes him. I felt bad about leaving him when I know she can't care for them. I would take all four if I thought it was best but she will go and care for the other 2 as best she can and without the financial burden of the other 2 she will be better able. I did tell her that I would not be doing the back and forth like I had been doing. He needs to stay in my care and not be subjected to moving so much. She said her family would not be coming back until June so it would be fine.

So I now have a nice little Hot Rod (horses name) and we are having fun strengthening our bond now that I don't have to worry he will be taken from me!

Thank you all for your help! I am super excited for my future adventures with him and love him soo much and am glad he is my forever horse!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
619 Posts
So you legally bought the one you really liked which is great, then you're foster caring for another one (I assume?). Maybe she will sell that one to you as well? Then everyone is happy, right?
Then you could work it out with her if her family would like to ride that horse in June?
If everyone is on good terms things can be worked out to everyone's satisfaction.

Sent from my SM-S205DL using Tapatalk
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
13,661 Posts
Congratulations on becoming a horse-owner!!!

The best is now starting as you will see...
Hot Rod isn't going anywhere and that now allows you to be and do all those special things for this animal...

You have a heart of generosity enormous in size.
You took on her other, as a foster....
You already put her on notice you were not doing this back & forth, moving and upsetting the horses existence because her family might show up for a horsey ride...stick to that!
You're right the upheaval is not good, for either horse to be bumped around, routine care upset...
So, when the family arrives and they want to ride...they can come ride "the foster" horse a time at your home...
She was told upfront if you take, this is how it is going to be...
Stand firm in your convictions as it is in the best interest of both horses not to have the upheaval.
Making it a bit harder to access the animal...:think:

In the meantime, offer for ownership of the animal again when she is not having to afford the care..
If she is not giving anything toward the care and upkeep it is abandonment..."fostering" or not in my mind.
A phone call of is he alive occasionally just doesn't cut it to me... :icon_rolleyes:
:runninghorse2:...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,824 Posts
I had a great little mustang. He lived to be in his 30's. He would do just about anything you asked, but if you 'cowboyed' him he would blow up. I have seen lots of nice mustangs. It is how they are treated and trained.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,824 Posts
I would not answer my phone in June. lol. If she has 2 other horses let her kids ride them. I would start dialogue again with you buying the horse from her. Point out how much easier it is for her to just keep 2 .
 
1 - 20 of 22 Posts
Top