As many of you know, I've been back in the saddle for a little over a year, after 7 years off due to a car accident and traumatic brain injury. I'm finally back with my old trainer(not the one mentioned in posts about the "friend" stealing), and couldn't be happier.....except for one thing. Over the past few weeks, I have become terrified to ride. I had a hard fall April 14th, but got back on and went on to do my first ever show on the 17th, riding the same horse I fell off of. He was on trial, and my trainer and I both agreed he was a little too much horse for me. After the show on the 17th, I continued to ride the same horse for one more week before he went home, but could never bring myself to do more than walk around for 10 minutes and be done. Now, any time I'm at the barn, I make excuses as to why I can't ride. There are several beginner safe horses available to me, and even though I know they wouldn't throw anything at me that could cause a fall, I've been turning down the opportunities to ride them. These are VERY nice sale horses, from Trakehners to TBs, all of whom I know fairly well. My trainer has been great with my limitations, and understands my limits and fears very well, and I trust her to not put me on something I can't handle. We have a nice quiet 7 year old TB gelding(never raced) coming tomorrow for me to try for 2 weeks. I'm just worried that my nerves are going to get the better of me, and all of her hard work to set this up is going to be for nothing. I've had some bad experiences in the past year or so with some horses that were not a good fit for me, but no actual injuries resulted from that. I did give my mare back last month, after realizing she was NOT what was best for me, and my limited funds were best spent getting lessons and taking my time searcdhing for a suitable mount. I can't figure out WHY I'm suddenly afraid to have any physical contact with the horses. Even helping my trainer turn out and bring in scares me right now. WHAT can I do????? I'm starting to wonder if it's just my time to hang up the helmet and enjoy being a horse show pony mom to my almost 7 year old daughter. She fell off April 13th and broke her elbow, and I'm having a hard time telling her not to be scared when I can't take my own advice. Also any advice to build confidence with ground handling would be much appreciated. Cookies and milk to anyone who read this whole thing!