[Unwoven]

So I seem to have run into a small problem.
See I have been riding for a good amount of time, I've ridden many types of horses, alot schoolies, alot not, green horses and not. I've never fallen off and I have no fear of it. But I am very careful and I stick on. I finally got my own horse, who is a challange for me but hes not too much horse for me and I can handle him myself. Im very confident in that.

someone I know..known as anna who has been riding schoolies for the same amount that i have part boarded a few times and all. But has bad luck finding a horse to stick too. seems to be bothered with me.

I have a coach who used to teach the both of us, but we had problems at the barn the owner was crazy and we all went seperate ways. Me having a horse, my coach continued to teach me at my new barn.. and anna hasnt made much time for horses focusing alot more on school and her family stuff but still claims she /needs/ to ride yet she never makes time. Shes a very picky person, she only wants the most expensive brands of things and wants horses to do things she dosent even know how to do yet. But thats not the issue!

So me and my coach are close, and my coach has asked me to come work at her new barn which she now owns with her blacksmith boyfriend. So liking the way i ride my coach has asked me to excersize her race colts, to help with their horses, andhelp break in these new horses she wants to use as schoolies and some ponies for pony rides. I love the idea, I have no problem doing it. I know I have to be careful but I'll be instructed by my coach and i'll just do what she says.

So my coach asked to ask anna to help as well incase she wants to and when anna finds out she kinda...snaps. Apparently she thinks that my coach should have asked her instead of me. When she hasnt been riding for a good few months... and she never finds the time to be with horses as much as she used to.

I've had just as much as experince as she has and even more now that i spend all my time with horses, people asking me to ride theirs and try them out. And having alot of experience. I dont understand why she thinks I can't do it. Shes said "no offense" but youve ridden mostly schoolies in your riding life..like so have I but our coach has SEEN me ride some difficult horses.

What do you think her deal is..? I could go on and on.. is she like jealous?

 

[my2geldings]

Apparently she thinks that my coach should have asked her instead of me. When she hasnt been riding for a good few months...

To leave my answer short. Yes. Yes she is jealous. She should be embrassing(that a word??) that you guys are going to be able to ride together and balance each other out with your riding experience. She should be honored that someone would come along and ask her to help with some youngsters.

It's a shame. There is a lot of that tension in the horse world and instead of using all this in a positive way, she is going to be making herself miserable. I know it's easier said than done, but don't let this get to you. You'll probably have to ignore most of what she does or even says but you sound on a much more mature playing field than she is.

...and it's thats the way her attitude is, I don't see her lasting very long because things are not going to be going her way, she's not going to be able to handle it. I would sit tight, let her play with her own fire and wait until she leaves completely(if she even starts in the first place).

Good luck!

 

[ptvintage]

Yes, I would say she is jealous. But to play devil's advocate, you aren't right either. Wanting to ride different horses, advance her skill and have nice things is not a crime. If you talk about or to her the same way you write on this forum, I can see why she'd be harboring resentment or jealousy. In her eyes, you could be gloating that you have a horse, and that everyone loves your riding, and she feels that the attention you get is unfair.

To be blunt- I don't see how this is even a problem. This doesn't really effect you. You said you know her, but not that you are friends, so if she's being nasty just don't talk to her. You have a nice thing going with your trainer, and if Anna wants to join you there, great, if not, oh well. Whether she is jealous or not really isn't relevant. I'm guessing you're fairly young, you should use this as an opportunity to act mature and just move on with your life. If Anna does decide to ride with you, greet her kindly and go about your business.

 

[my2geldings]

Yes, I would say she is jealous. But to play devil's advocate, you aren't right either. Wanting to ride different horses, advance her skill and have nice things is not a crime. If you talk about or to her the same way you write on this forum, I can see why she'd be harboring resentment or jealousy. In her eyes, you could be gloating that you have a horse, and that everyone loves your riding, and she feels that the attention you get is unfair.

To be blunt- I don't see how this is even a problem. This doesn't really effect you. You said you know her, but not that you are friends, so if she's being nasty just don't talk to her. You have a nice thing going with your trainer, and if Anna wants to join you there, great, if not, oh well. Whether she is jealous or not really isn't relevant. I'm guessing you're fairly young, you should use this as an opportunity to act mature and just move on with your life. If Anna does decide to ride with you, greet her kindly and go about your business.

A good post. I had no even seen that situation under that light at all. Glad you took the time to post. Definitely a different perspective.

 

[Unwoven]

Yes, I would say she is jealous. But to play devil's advocate, you aren't right either. Wanting to ride different horses, advance her skill and have nice things is not a crime. If you talk about or to her the same way you write on this forum, I can see why she'd be harboring resentment or jealousy. In her eyes, you could be gloating that you have a horse, and that everyone loves your riding, and she feels that the attention you get is unfair.

To be blunt- I don't see how this is even a problem. This doesn't really effect you. You said you know her, but not that you are friends, so if she's being nasty just don't talk to her. You have a nice thing going with your trainer, and if Anna wants to join you there, great, if not, oh well. Whether she is jealous or not really isn't relevant. I'm guessing you're fairly young, you should use this as an opportunity to act mature and just move on with your life. If Anna does decide to ride with you, greet her kindly and go about your business.

She kinda is a friend, and we've been through a lot together. And No I would never want to talk to her like that. My coach asked me to ask her if she wanted to come along to help. I only said

" Hey Coach is asking me to break in these certain horses for her, wanna come along?"

and she ..kinda.. pops. In my opinion its kinda her fault shes not getting involved. My coach and many other people give her offers, I've offered my horse to her to ride whenever she wants no charge and she wont take them. Shes very picky and.. if its not whats she wants exactly she wont take it.

I dunno I just dont want things to be awkward when we're both there.

 

[Beau Baby]

I don't knwo what her deal is but I've been in a situation{currently ongoing} with the same type of person. Been riding at the same stable for 2 years, she was there a few month's before me. So about a year ago she started being rude, told me I had no friends everyone hated me and called me a bitch and whatnot. Then a week later she said sorry and we were friends. But last year, around September, my instrcutor asked me to ride her young, green horse. The horse had maybe a month or two of riding put on her already.

This girl flipped and started talking **** about me again. She's just like the girl you describe. She's rich, spoiled, only wants the most expensive stuff. Although this girl has a horse. One that she treats badly but she still has one.

 

[Unwoven]

I don't knwo what her deal is but I've been in a situation{currently ongoing} with the same type of person. Been riding at the same stable for 2 years, she was there a few month's before me. So about a year ago she started being rude, told me I had no friends everyone hated me and called me a bitch and whatnot. Then a week later she said sorry and we were friends. But last year, around September, my instrcutor asked me to ride her young, green horse. The horse had maybe a month or two of riding put on her already.

This girl flipped and started talking **** about me again. She's just like the girl you describe. She's rich, spoiled, only wants the most expensive stuff. Although this girl has a horse. One that she treats badly but she still has one.

Yeah its really similar

Only this girls not rich, she can't always afford the expensive stuff which is why she can't get whatever she wants. She wont stand for the not so perfect brands. And she will end up not getting them at all. For me.. I dont care as long as it works and is good

 

[Beau Baby]

yeah. for me ad you it doesn't matter if its not a super expensive awesome brand. we don't need the $3000 saddles to ride as good as we do.

 

[HooverH]

M2G...it's embracing. :wink:

 

[ptvintage]

This isn't directed at the OP as it is at Beau Baby. It really irks me when people assume that just because someone has money they are either trying to compensate for their riding skills or are abusive to their horses. Bragging about how you don't need expensive equipment to ride as well as you do does not make you a better rider. All it you are trying to do is put yourself above them on the totem pole so to speak. "Oh such and such has brand X expensive saddle, but I'm still better! Look at me managing without fancy stuff!" If you want to be judged, go show, you can get the ego boost if you win.

Again- it is not a crime to want nice gear. Everyone has something they want, and they usually make it a goal to save for it. If someone worked hard or got lucky and has money to spend, good for them. Being rich and able to afford nice things is not a crime.

Abuse is in the eye of the beholder. People scream abuse far too often when it is not. In this age when parents go to jail for disciplining their children, people think that any discipline to a horse is abuse.

Back to the OP: Since you want to be friends with her, I'd say it's slightly trickier, but I believe my advice stays the same. Don't talk to her unless she wants to be nice. Tell your coach you asked her, but she didn't give you a clear answer, and that coach needs to follow up with her if she wants her. If Anna contacts you about riding, tell her to contact coach. Tell her you don't want to be involved in whatever they decide. If Anna contacts you about being friends again, great, but don't get involved with her riding. If she doesn't, then she's the one acting immature.

Also: it would only be awkward if you allow it to be. If she ends up there and you guys haven't made up, just be polite. Treat her how you would treat any random person that just happens to ride at the same barn, friendly enough to make pleasantries, but not discussing heated topics. If she tries to be rude to you, just smile and walk away.

 

[Beau Baby]

ptvintage i wasn't saying that she was acting that way to compensate and i wasn't saying i didn't need good equipment to ride. of course i need good stuff, it helps but i can deal with other stuff and maybe this girl wasn't doing these things because she was compensating but that could be a reason.