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Discussion Starter #1
So quick pity party warning for anyways wanting to throw hate... you’ve been warned

So basically I am in highschool so my year is already really busy. I’m a junior and I’m in a lot of advanced classes. But on weekends I always have time to ride.. just not the motivation. I started losing motivation when my horse passed away in February. I didn’t compeltely lose it tho. I still rode all summer until my heart horse got really sick. She is off work for an unknown time right now. I have another horse who needs to be worked with a lot in her riding as she wasn’t trained properly. And I got her started and made progress and than I just lost motivation. I have been working on and off with her for months now but I can’t seem to find the want to ride. With my main horse sick and after losing my otherone. My parents are upset with me that I don’t wanna ride anymore. Even tho I do, I just can’t make myself.

Can anyone offer any advice as to how to get motivation back? I really miss riding but I can’t seem to bring myself to it!

Thank you all
 

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My mare had to be suddenly put to rest between by senior year and first year of college. I left for college, and rode my other horse once per break. It wasn't until two years after my mare had been put to sleep when I started asking when I could move my other horse near my college with me, and within a month, the move was made. Now, I ride two to three times a week, train horses for others, and I even bought my own training project.

Riding is supposed to be fun, and if it isn't fun or motivating right now, give it a bit of a break.

If you miss it and want to, quit being whiny about not being motivated and get out to the barn. I'm guessing you stay up late finishing your homework and spending time on extracurriculars/friends, but get out to the barn on the weekends. Don't give yourself time to find a reason not to go, JUST GO!

Schedule a weekend lesson, so you can't miss it. Find a new goal you want to reach with your horse and work to reach it. If you have any interest in competing, plan a weekend that you are showing and use all the other weekends leading up to it to practice and prepare. If you have made any new friends at school, invite them out to meet your horse and go for a short ride. If you have any friends with horses, plan a trail ride or some arena games to do on a weekend day.
 

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I can't make you get your motivation back, but... maybe you should consider selling the horse that needs work? Maybe all of that work on top of your school is just too much. Then you could just enjoy hanging out with your other horse.

If my daughter suddenly wanted to stop riding her horse, I'd be annoyed, because we pay so much in boarding, supplements, health care, etc. If my daughter had TWO horses and decided she didn't like riding any more, she'd definitely have to get rid of one of them. If it's not a financial burden, though, or if you are paying for them, then I'm not sure they have a right to get upset because you don't want to ride right now. You can't force wanting to ride.

I would say, though, maybe you could just back off riding altogether for a couple of weeks to a month, to create a no-pressure situation for yourself, and then re-evaluate how you feel. Maybe you would find that you miss riding and want to go back. Maybe you would feel relieved because you didn't HAVE to ride during that time. Explain to your parents how you feel and tell them you want to temporarily stop riding, but after that time you will come to a decision to either start riding, or sell one horse, or something that they would be open to.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
I can't make you get your motivation back, but... maybe you should consider selling the horse that needs work? Maybe all of that work on top of your school is just too much. Then you could just enjoy hanging out with your other horse.

If my daughter suddenly wanted to stop riding her horse, I'd be annoyed, because we pay so much in boarding, supplements, health care, etc. If my daughter had TWO horses and decided she didn't like riding any more, she'd definitely have to get rid of one of them. If it's not a financial burden, though, or if you are paying for them, then I'm not sure they have a right to get upset because you don't want to ride right now. You can't force wanting to ride.

I would say, though, maybe you could just back off riding altogether for a couple of weeks to a month, to create a no-pressure situation for yourself, and then re-evaluate how you feel. Maybe you would find that you miss riding and want to go back. Maybe you would feel relieved because you didn't HAVE to ride during that time. Explain to your parents how you feel and tell them you want to temporarily stop riding, but after that time you will come to a decision to either start riding, or sell one horse, or something that they would be open to.

They are just upset that I’m not acting myself. I guess more worried for me than upset that I’m not riding bevsuse i loved it so much. I keep my horses at my house and my older horse has to have another horse. Which is why we got star in the first place. Financially we are completely fine as I pay for everything for them. I thank you and everyone else replying for your help. It’s gicing me some ideas. I think I’ll have a friend come out with me this weekend to motivate me to ride star. Maybe once I get back on her I’ll be able to enjoy it again. Thank you all so much
 

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Of course you're not acting "yourself"! You lost a beloved companion in February, and another one has been ill! That's a lot of grief & stress to work through, on top of starting a new school year with AP classes and everything else that high school entails. I agree that training a horse on top of all that may just be too much - I'd recommend taking a break from riding, or doing some "fun" riding that doesn't require you to be "on" so much as training does.

There is nothing wrong with taking a break (from any activity) to de-stress and decompress. Take a few weeks off. Go on a relaxed trail ride or two. Go to the barn & just groom your fave horse for an hour. Go to a local horse show and just watch. Go to the tack store and window shop, whatever. Maybe after the dust of a new school year settles you'll feel less exhausted and ready to come back.

It sounds like there's a lot of big emotions in your life - and just because you're a teen, doesn't make those emotions any less valid. It may take some time to process and think about what you really love about riding & horses.
 

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You need motivation to ride? That's really strange, to me it would be like I need motivation to sleep or eat, lol.
 
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One thing I observed with riding was that the people who had horses of their own often lost interest way before those that didn't.

As a child at the riding school we spent all day there and worked very hard all year. Our 'reward' was a thirty minute extra added onto an hour's ride we paid for.

When I started running the stables I gave out more free rides and found that the children were way less enthusiastic about working.

No one can motivate you, that is down to you. Sorry you have lost a good horse and another is off work but does the third deserve you deserting it?

A lssson you have to learn if you have animals is that if you have livestock you sure as heck have dead stock.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I would like to thank everyone who was kind for their help. I’m glad to say I have found some motivation again. And to everyone who was rude.... please don’t reply if you are going to be rude to me. This whole year has been extremely hard for me. I was more as looking for other people’s stories from maybe if they lost some motivation. I never deserted my horses. I still went out with them and worked them. I just couldn’t bring myself to get into the saddle. So please instead of being rude and calling me a bad owner think about what I have been through. Thank you again to everyone who actually tried helping. I’m so happy I’ve found a way to help myself again and I hope we can go far now.
 

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I would like to thank everyone who was kind for their help. I’m glad to say I have found some motivation again. And to everyone who was rude.... please don’t reply if you are going to be rude to me. This whole year has been extremely hard for me. I was more as looking for other people’s stories from maybe if they lost some motivation. I never deserted my horses. I still went out with them and worked them. I just couldn’t bring myself to get into the saddle. So please instead of being rude and calling me a bad owner think about what I have been through. Thank you again to everyone who actually tried helping. I’m so happy I’ve found a way to help myself again and I hope we can go far now.
I don't think anyone called you a bad owner, more so just giving their sides to their story, which is what you asked for. I'm glad you found motivation, and high school is a tough time. just relax and ride:)
 

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I can't find the rudeness. Not anywhere. H m m . ..



I think people sometimes forget what it's like to be in High School, coming to the end of your mandatory education. Lots to think about , lots of pressure. I'm not sure how anyone can help you become more motivated. If you were my daughter, I'd be wanting you to simplify your life, perhaps sell a horse (certainly not take on a project for training), and think on your next step in life, be it more education, a job, some other kind of job training, or travel, or ? But, not just a continuation of what you used to do.


You aren't the "old you" , anymore, so expecting things to go on unchanged is setting yourself up for disappointment. Sometimes it takes longer for parents to cue into the changes that their teens are experiencing. The loving parent is always a step or two behind the growth of their beloved children.
 

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Of course you're not acting "yourself"! You lost a beloved companion in February, and another one has been ill! That's a lot of grief & stress to work through...
You might be going through some depression, which is normal after a death. Sometimes parents don't understand that a person can grieve over the loss of a pet the same way they do a person. My first horse died when I was around your age. My mom thought I should be able to get over it in about a day or two, but for me everything looked gray and seemed bleak for more than three months after my horse died. That is a natural reaction and there is nothing unhealthy about it. Combine that with the stress of another horse being sick, and it can really add up. So go easy on yourself, try to find things that make you feel peaceful so you can process, and give yourself time to heal. It sounds like you love riding so feeling unmotivated right now might just be the lack of interest in things they normally enjoy that many people feel when depressed.

I'm middle aged now, but when my horse died about a year ago I was able to allow myself to be depressed and ended up processing through things faster. But if it had taken a while, I would be been OK with that since you never know how long it will take.
 

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I work full-time with 2+hrs a day in commute and occasional evening/weekend work, cart my 14yr old to sports practice before & after school and attend evening games while making sure he gets enough sleep & healthy food, try to keep my house from becoming disgusting, make sure the yard gets mowed, and somehow also find time to eat and sleep and have clean laundry. That leaves zero motivation to go out in 100°F while carrying my heavy western saddle from house to barn, to groom a sweaty horse, heft said heavy saddle up, put on my breathable-but-still-hot helmet, ride a heat-radiating horse under the unrelenting Texas sun, and then attempt to cool him back down without passing out from heat exhaustion myself. I haven't ridden since May, and probably won't bother until October.

Life goes through stages. My current stage is seeing my horses grazing in my pasture and calling that enough.
 
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