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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i posted this on a local forum today, and just dont have the strength to retype it, or to write anything else right now, so just copied and pasted. Please feel free to ask for more details. I just cant think that straight right now.

Hi all... well I am writing to you here from an incredibly low and broken down place. one of my horses died today, she broke her leg apparently running about, playing, and hit it against a lone wooden post I had planted for a fence I couldnt finish.

She was an adopted horse, and after years of putting everything I could into her... several hospitalisations due to the neglect she suffered before I got her... fattened her up, and she became my favourite. And now she's gone and it's all my fault.

I am finding so difficult to cope... but on top of that... I cannot even bear the thought of keeping my other horses anymore. I am so scared that somehow they come to harm through something I did too. It seems like it just isnt meant to be for me.

I need to find homes for them. I don't know what to do currently. I am just so broken.
 

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I didn't want to read and run, so big hugs to you.

Horses are accidents waiting for somewhere to happen, and they are so fragile for such big guys.

You are in shock, take a few days to adjust and stop with the what ifs, if you made a mistake, learn from it, and move on.
 

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Condolences for your loss & do not blame yourself, you gave that horse a good life. Give it some time before you make any decisions, strange things happen and we have to learn from it and move on.
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Horses are accidents waiting to happen. My horse broke his shoulder within 15 min of being put outside in the morning, no idea how. Was it to muddy that I shouldn't have put him out? Should I have fed hay outside to keep him from running? Should I have stayed and watched him? You will drive yourself crazy with what if's. You gave him a great life and you didn't let him suffer. That is a whole lot more than a lot of people would do, sad as that is, it is true.
Wait and see how you feel in a week or a month. You will be surprised that the rest of your horses will give you such joy that you won't be able to believe that you ever thought of getting rid of them. They won't hold an accident against you, and neither should you.
Sorry for your loss, It is a pain that your other horses will help heal.
 

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I agree with the others. This was a tragic accident, and I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't make any major decisions right now, about anything. When you've had time to grieve and process, and start thinking logically again, then you can decide what you want to do. My heart goes out to you.
 

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I hope you allow yourself a time to grieve before making a decision that will effect you and the horses for a long time. Go through your grievance then decide what is best for you and the horses when you can think about it rationally.

Sorry you are having to go through this and know that each of us as horse owners have to find ways on carrying on even with the threat of that happening to one of ours. You will find a way to see the path that is meant for you when the time is right.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I didn't want to read and run, so big hugs to you.

Horses are accidents waiting for somewhere to happen, and they are so fragile for such big guys.

You are in shock, take a few days to adjust and stop with the what ifs, if you made a mistake, learn from it, and move on.
Thanks Golden Horse. About six years ago my childhood horse/heart horse, and my sisters' two ponies died when the tree they were standing under was hit by lightning. That was a month or two after I moved out of my parents' for the first time, and the guilt about not being there, and not being able to do anything, took years to fade away.

Now, just as I've had to relocate again, it happens again. It's hard for me not to see something on this telling me I will always fail at this. I'm so scared now, for my other animals.
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks everyone else too, when I started writing my above reply, only Golden Horse had posted yet. Just shows what I mess I am.
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I'm very sorry. It's very hard to lose your friend.
 

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Your horse knew the post was there and it was up to her to avoid it. Are you sure that's what caused the fracture? Perhaps, considering her background, her bones may have been weakened. When there are mineral deficiencies the body will take it from the bones. It could have been from a kick from another horse. If the post has been dislodged it may have been a horse with an itchy bum.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I just heard an eye witness account of what happened. The horses were running/playing, she somehow knocked the fence post with a hind leg, it unbalanced her, and she fell forwards, breaking the radius of her front leg...
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
The post was upright, thick wood, and fast to the ground. Meant as one of the corner posts for the arena I wanted to build. I never, ever would have seen this coming. I don't know... I'm losing my nerve with horses... I loved her so so much.
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accidents happen I dont care if your horse is in a padded stall 24/7 they can and have broken their legs.
Blaming yourself and fearing for the safety of your other animals is not healthy.
These dire feelings about the saftey of your other horses have no basis in reality.
Remove the post and fill in the hole.
Death is a part of life just like birth . You have no control over when or where something is going to die as long as you take care of it properly you have no guilt to bear.
give yourself a break. Shalom
 

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Oh muumie, my heart breaks for you.

Please, do not blame yourself. You gave your beautiful girl a WONDERFUL life, after much hardship and pain. If I remember correctly, she was a very sad and broken little filly, and you gave her life. I also recall that she had many times where you weren't sure that she would make it to be useful, or even truely happy. Times when some may have just given up and put her down for lack of wanting to 'waste' their time on a 'broken' horse.

You, Muumie, did nothing wrong. Horses are horses...they will do as they please. She could have just as easily injured herself in another way. You did not know that the fence post would bring sadness or pain, you were innocent. You loved your mare and you gave her a second chance at life. You believed in her and you worked hard to help her. What more could a loyal horse ask for?

This was a tragic accident, and one that will remain with you forever. But do not let it's weight lie on your shoulders. Its too heavy of a burden for you to bear. Instead, remember the good times with your girl, and reflect on how happy she made you, and you made her. Her quality of life would have been nothing without you. It is only because of you that she even had a person who loved her to leave behind. Otherwise, who knows what she would have been? She was no looker as a yearling, but you saw her as the diamond in the rough that she was, and you hand picked her. She had so much to be grateful for. So much that many horses do not have. She had unconditional love!

I will be thinking of you this evening, and I'm sending Kenzie's and my love to you. May your beautiful mare run forever, pain free, where grass is unlimited, injury is unspoken of, and she can look down and watch over you, as your very own guardian horse.


Don't mourn for me
Dear owner, kind and true.
I know that you will miss me
As I will also think of you.
We shared so many secrets;
those you whispered in my ear.
I've kept those secrets for you
lest anyone would hear.
And in return you've kept me
from being turned out in the cold.
You've fed, watered, and cared for me
while we both grew old.
But God had called and needs me;
He says that it is time
I claim that sweet reward
in a kinder, green clime.
He promises sweeter clover,
clear water, rich and pure.
I'll never have to suffer
from wounds that humans cannot cure.
I'll romp and play all day
with others he has called hither.
I'll have so many new friends
that will scratch upon my wither.
I'll be watching out for you
when comes your judgment day
and together towards the pearly gates
we again will ride away!
 

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Muumi I'm so sorry.

The only "reasoning" I've found over the years is that it was just their day. It's going to come regardless of what we do or don't do, it's inevitable for us all.

Super huge hugs!
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So sorry for your tragic loss.

I agree with dbarabians, horses can find something to hurt themselves on. When we built our pastures to bring my horses home I explained it to my non-horse husband like this....

If you see something that you think they might hurt themselves on, then they will definitely hurt themselves. If you don't see anything that you think they will hurt themselves on, they will definitely hurt themselves. Ie they are going to hurt themselves.

Please don't blame yourself and give yourself some time to heal before you make any decisions.
 
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Prayers and hugs sent to you in this heartbreaking time - Today a horse rescue came to pick up hay I donated to the cause of several starved horses who never had a loving, caring owner like you. You have given so very much, and that lovely mare lived a horse's dream in your wonderful care. Time is merciful, and allow it to heal your pain. God Bless :)
 

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Eish angaaz! I am so sorry to read this and grieve with you your loss.
 
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