I think I understand the respect issue. A lead mare will gain the respect of the herd with bites,kicks and a lot of ear pinning and threats. I don't advocate beating an unruly animal. But a couple of quick bites on the rump with a lead rope or the buggy whip will simulate what the lead animal does to get attention and get immeadiate respect to do as asked. That would be taken care of probably in one time. You have to be the leader to be respected.
I think I understand why you don't have respect. I don't advocate beating an animal but, the lead mare will put out many more ebites, kicks and chasing to get the respect of the herd.