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Need to Convince my Dad that Star is the Right Horse

3K views 25 replies 18 participants last post by  Risingdream 
#1 ·
After losing my on farm lease horse, Mercedes, because of barn drama, and than continuing on to two more unsuccessful barns(one in which $650 of tack was stolen from me) I have looked for the past 7 months for the right horse. My Dad has already agreed:

1. That I CAN long-term off farm full lease the horse of my choosing
2. Board this horse at a barn of my choosing within budget ($600/mo)
3. This horse CAN be green, untrained, etc as long as either a trainer can train the horse or the horse is sutible to be trained by myself with the assistance of a trainer.

In June I found the perfect horse(Star), every time I would see her photos or videos my stomach would lurch and I would shake and I felt in such a way it's indescribable. She is the one, I know she is. The only problem is that she's in PA, AKA, 9 hrs from me. The trailering would cost $500, which I have enough to cover myself and she already has insurance which I can cover the cost of. The lease would not be changed at all asides from not meeting her before the start of the lease, but, there is a month long trial offered in which the return shipping would be paid by the owners. She's everything I'm looking for, and all the terms of the lease, etc are workable and feasible. If she was the same horse in MA(45 min from me) I would be leasing her now, so the actual horse, the financial feasibility, etc IS NOT THE ISSUE. It's the pure location, but, I believe some things are worth fighting for, and I want t ask you guys if there is anything you know of that might change his mind. Thanks! if you have any questions or clarifications please ask!
 
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#5 ·
What the others said.

When I was looking for a horse to buy, I found one that was 'the one'. He looked so sweet in the photos, sounded great, and I was so excited to meet him. Went to see him and even though I wasn't able to ride him then, I took him on trial. Picked him up a week later, already madly in love and convinced that this was it. Got on him and it was evident from the moment my bum hit the saddle that he wasn't right. Turns out he'd never properly been broken in, even though he'd been sold to a beginner rider who'd never ended up riding him. He was a nice horse, and I could have worked with him, but he wasn't right even though I was deadset convinced at first that he was the one.
 
#6 ·
Yep, you should make the trip and meet (and ride) the horse before you make up your mind. Take it from us old folks who've been around the block a time or two....you won't know until you try and you might as well do that at the owner's barn rather than have the horse travel to you and then you decide on day one or two you've made a mistake. Keep the horse in mind and go meet him where he is.
 
#8 ·
To be honest there are a few red flags that jump out at me. First is, if the horse is great, why is she still available? Not many off farm leases would last three months if they're a good horse.

Second is, why would any sane owner lease a horse to someone they haven't met and haven't seen ride? To me that sounds really fishy and probably not the sort of owners I'd want a contract with.

And finally it sounds a little desperate, one month trial and owner pays return shipping? And who would lease a horse that far away? A good owner with a good horse would want to check up fairly regularly.

I'd be careful with this.

I once saw this picture of an Anglo Arab mare for sale and she was amazing. Unbroken but right age, height, looks, movement and cheap. A month or so later the ad was still up so I bought her.

Never had a horse with more trouble and issues. From before I first met her I had in my mind that she was something she wasn't. It was based on a few words in an advert and a couple pictures. Judge a horse based on how it performs in person not on how it is in your head.
 
#9 ·
You're convinced based on nothing but pictures and videos that she's 'the one'. 9 hours away, to boot.

I'd be very suspicious that it's a scam, especially since they're supposedly willing and eager to send the horse so far away to an obvious youngster.

My bet is that even if you could get your father to go along with this scheme, you're going to wind up without your hard earned money and no horse. If it's too good to be true, it is.

There are plenty of good horses in your area; you don't need to be pining after an animal so far away who may not even belong to the people trying to lease it out. Photos and video are stolen all the time by scammers.
 
#10 ·
Hi guys! To respond to everyones replys so far:
They are not desperate to sell her, I just (having started multiple mini businesses throughout my life) are quite eunterpunurial and made a deal with them

They are a very well trusted barn and they are known in the local horse community

I cant travel to them, a trial is the only way

and if I dont hve her go on trial, Ill forver wonder if she was truly the one


The owners are in no way eager or desperate and are even a bit hesitant, but, they said that if we would agree on our end they would allow a trial.

Thanks for all your replys!
 
#11 ·
Speed Racer has some great points that I hadn't thought of, and it reminds me of the obvious scam I almost fell for back when I was a young, hopeful teen.

Contacted a lady about a 10 year old Friesian gelding. He was fully dressage trained, could jump 6 foot, beginner friendly and came with all his gear. (I was young and dumb, obviously). Then, it turned out he was in New Zealand, but the owner 'liked the sound of me' and would pay the transport fees to get him to Australia. All I had to do was transfer the purchase price (a mere $1500!) and she'd send him over!

Can I ask how old you are, risingdream? What exactly is this 'deal' you made with them that would make them trust a young girl they've never met with their horse? No matter how much of an 'entrepreneur' you are, I can't think of what you must have done.

How do you know that they are a well-trusted barn?

Forever wondering is much better than a) getting her and being disappointed or b) being scammed.
 
#12 ·
I had a similar situation when I wanted to buy another horse. I had been eyeballing this mare for quite a while but she was out of state. I went to look at another horse locally but her conformation was horrible and I certainly was not looking to start out with major vet bills. I finally called the owner of the out of state mare and we talked for a couple of hours. The horse had been advertised for quite a while. From the pictures and videos she looked beautiful and the price was right. I still couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with this horse that no one had snatched up yet. The owner told me that a lot of people had called but she was being picky as to who she went to. Her intention was to keep this horse but she had recently been diagnosed with a couple of illnesses that were not going to go away and her riding was going to be limited. She was getting inquiries from people that she felt weren't suited. I went up their, tried her out, rode her sire and had her vetted. All of this while still not having a clue how I was going to get her home. Well, everything worked out and she's mine. I did send her a down payment before I went up there. Every logical piece of my brain said don't do it but it just felt right so I took the chance. There have been people who have gotten burned doing stuff like this and there have been people who had it work out. The leaf never falls from a tree in the exact same way so it's up to you (and your dad) if this should be pursued.
Honestly, I wouldn't lease a horse out so far away, but to each his own. If I were looking for a lease horse I would stay closer to home in my search just because it's more practical.
 
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#13 ·
There are a whole ton of barns that seem well-loved on the Internet. As you are so far away, I highly doubt you actually know many people who know this farm.

There is a horse dealer masquerading as a lesson and show barn (now she actually has an auction) near me in NJ that's got 4.5 stars. It's owners are two of the shadiest people I've ever had the displeasure of interacting with. They sure seem nice on paper though!
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#14 ·
I totally understand that pull on the heart strings, the "oh that's my horse" feeling, been there, done that, had a month in hospital that finally convinced me that this horse was in fact a disaster and NOT the love of my life.

The love of my life turned out to be the very sensible, very boring horse that my trainer found me, 10 minutes away from the barn.

Sorry, just do not do this, it is ill advised and has high odds on being a wreck.
 
#15 ·
Your best bet is to try to convince him to go on a road trip with you, have fun, enjoy your time together, and have a look at the horse. And let him assess the situation right there and then. Good luck.

P.S. I would not lease a horse long distance like this. For starters, I would not trust the owners who would lease their horse on those conditions.
 
#16 ·
You are unbelievably lucky to have such a supportive father who is willing and able to allow you to indulge in horses.
You do not love this horse, you love the IDEA of this horse.
And I get it, who here HASN'T drooled over the 'perfect' horse from afar, we all have.
But seriously, 9 hours away is just too far for a lease horse. I wouldn't trust the fact that the owners would send such a 'great' horse so far away.
Would you send your horse that far if you ever leased it out? Wouldn't you want it where you can occasionally check on it?
And if you pay the $500 to bring her down, what if she doesn't work out? You will have to pay to send her back too.
I don't think your dad is being unreasonable to want to look for something closer. Sorry.
 
#17 ·
If she's so great and they love her so much, why would they send her 9 hours away to someone they have NEVER met?

All you have to do is read some of the lease stories on here to know that leases can end in a total nightmare- one poster recently had a horse returned to her covered in blood and terrified as it stepped out of the trailer, when months before she'd put a calm, well-trained and easy-loading horse on the trailer!

Ask yourself- if I had a wonderful, amazing horse, would I just turn it over to a total stranger because they sounded nice on the phone? With both my geldings, the answer would have been NO WAY, EVER.

You have not fallen in love with a real horse- you've fallen in love with your IDEA of a perfect horse via pictures and videos. It's an infatuation you've built up in your head, and there are so many red flags surrounding this that I'd join your dad in running for the hills.

Those "gotta have it!" moments are easy to come by, but they rarely pan out. Every person here has drooled over the "perfect" horse that's a huge distance away. In some ways, the distance makes them even more tempting, because now they're a "forbidden fruit".

The perfect horse is the one that suits you, clicks with your personality and riding style, and is what you need to accomplish what you'd like to do, safely and soundly. The good thing is, horses are easy to love. You fell in love with this one, and you will fall in love with the one you actually end up taking home.
 
#18 ·
I think you should also go out and try several different horses first. There are hundreds of beautiful horses you can fall in love with online, and they are not all suitable. Trying a variety of horses will give you something to compare to.

:gallop:
 
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#19 ·
I agree with the others. Something doesn't sound right with this. I would NEVER lease or sell a horse to someone I didn't know without making sure that the horse and rider were a good match. Why is it not possible to go and try the horse? I am thinking that this "great deal" would fall through quickly if you told them that you will arrive with a trailer, try the horse first, and bring it back with you.
 
#20 ·
You need to try her before you bring her to your location. The cost of a trip is nothing compared to the costs that could rapidly pile up if she is not the right fit.

We've all had those "love at first sight" moments with horses - sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't and then other times it is the plain unassuming horse you don't think much of at first glance who becomes an excellent partner. But you won't know until you meet the horse in person and ride it.
 
#22 ·
No, I'm fairly positive the horse she's talking about in that thread is the same one she's talking about here. In that horse's ad, her barn name is "Star" so I would likely assume these threads are talking about all of one horse. I really hope she starts replying to all this. I'd like to see if she's actually reading the responses she gets before going and creating multiple new threads with what amounts to close to the same subject.
 
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