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Should I leave or stay

  • Leave and stop putting up with her?

    Votes: 4 80.0%
  • Stay and put up with it cuz i love the barn?

    Votes: 1 20.0%
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok well I board at this Stable and i love everything about it and everyone there exept for.... the owner...
Everything I do she has a negitive comment for it. Everything I say she has a negitive comment for it even if i am not even talkng to her....
I don't even pay her for board I pay my trainer tht has his own few pens with his horses and we have worked out a deal ( It's complacated and i don't feel like writing it all)
What should I do about this?
She has even gotten me in trubble for complete acidents or things i didn't do. Or things i did but they weren't really bad she just over reacts and makes it sound like it's alot worse than it is!
My parents have banned me from there for a wile and I don't kow what to do I miss my horses!
I am allowed to go back there in a few days but how do i face the owner??
ADVICE NEEDED!
 

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Before I offer any advice, I would like to ask why you parents banned you for going there for a while?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
haha ok Well me and my friend went into the owners house real quick to grab something ( we are usually welcome in there) and i guess we left some mud on he floor. So she told us to clean it up... so we did.
Than she tells my parents and makes it sound like i killed someone! She is going on how we like messed up her house which we didn't i swear! My parents are taking her story over mine like usual so yeah.
but the other thing that kind of bothers me is she never told my friends parents just mine. She has had this grudge on me ever since i left training with her to go to a trainer that acually knows what he's talking about. But i never was mean to her about it or said anything rude to her...
 

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haha ok Well me and my friend went into the owners house real quick to grab something ( we are usually welcome in there) and i guess we left some mud on he floor. So she told us to clean it up... so we did.
Than she tells my parents and makes it sound like i killed someone! She is going on how we like messed up her house which we didn't i swear! My parents are taking her story over mine like usual so yeah.
but the other thing that kind of bothers me is she never told my friends parents just mine. She has had this grudge on me ever since i left training with her to go to a trainer that acually knows what he's talking about. But i never was mean to her about it or said anything rude to her...
Have you tried telling your parents that? Maybe they just haven't heard the whole story?
 

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haha ok Well me and my friend went into the owners house real quick to grab something ( we are usually welcome in there) and i guess we left some mud on he floor. So she told us to clean it up... so we did.
Than she tells my parents and makes it sound like i killed someone! She is going on how we like messed up her house which we didn't i swear! My parents are taking her story over mine like usual so yeah.
but the other thing that kind of bothers me is she never told my friends parents just mine. She has had this grudge on me ever since i left training with her to go to a trainer that acually knows what he's talking about. But i never was mean to her about it or said anything rude to her...[/QUOTE]

These 2 things stuck out for me.

For the first, mud on the floor, if you haven't apologized, you need to. Not very respectful of someone's home.

The second, consider that perhaps she has overheard that this is what you think of her. Maybe a friend talking to a friend and she overheard. Just a thought.

I suggest you follow each rule to the letter, and be respectful at all times if you aren't already.

Good luck.
 

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I totally agree with Walkamile. Barn gossip has a way of getting around. YOu would be amazed. You need to apologize. take responsibility. If you want to stay there, then bow your head and toe the line. That's all there is to it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I have appoligized like 4 times she doesn't seem to ever forgive me....
and I really haven't said anything bad about her I just wanted to advance in riding and she isn't even a real instuctor so she can't be to hurt. We used to have a good relationship i mean i even worked with alot of her horses, broke one even. I just don't get it. And we cleaned it up really well, idk....
Plus why do you think she only told my parents and not my friends???
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
and borntorun i have really but they think i should just do whatever she says even if it's not fair just because she's letting me on her property. But i pay to be out there and i have NEVER abused that privlage or hurt the porperty in some way. and they don't beleive me about her over reacting and making it sound worse or adding untrue details. i try to be nice and respectful to her i buy her presents for christmas and her b-day i sweep the barn when no one else will, I keep my stuff in my own space and keep it organized i just don't know why she hates me...
 

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had the sameish thing happen....sorta.....my extrainer was like a surrogate mother to me, took me to al sorts of rodeos, hired me to help with her clinics and her moms business....i was part of the family. in return i mucked stalls, broke horses for her, and did things like house sit for them, babysit their kids...eventually she got more into rodeo, and my mare had just been retired from rodeo so i was showing her so i switched to my new trainer, she got really insulted and started spreading rumors about me and my mother, saying we were cruel to our horses, we cheated, we didnt really know how to ride we just bought really fancy horses (okay my colts $200, and he wasnt even a purebreed....) but she would be really civil and polite to our faces.... thankfully i didnt board at her house so i didnt have to deal with all that....

you just gotta kill em with kindness. she spread rumors aabout us and tried to stab us in the back, we invited her to our barn raising, i still talk to her daughter all the time...
 

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OP, I believe you! I've btdt! Some people in horse-related positions of authority/ownership just SUCK!

You sweep up to be nice, plus buy her b'day & xmas gifts & have apologized repeatedly WHEN there's nothing to apologize for in getting a better teacher, ad nauseum? I find this female to be one of those who suck, yes indeedy.

If she were decent, she'd work on her skills to win you back as a student, rather than make your time at the barn a living hell.

What to do? First off, talk to your parents, leaving nothing out about the history of her treatment of you & how you've been good to her regardless. Your parents are the more important relationships, & fact that they side with her is far more worrisome than her trip. It may not help, but you'll have tried to get through to the parents!

About her: like others said, leave or suck it up, because she's not about to change, EVER. Yet I don't expect you to suck it up as if it's the only reasonable choice; leaving has all of the validity in the world. It comes down to what YOU can handle; if she's sucking the joy out of your horse time, time to go!

I'm sure that you already know whether this is true or not. There's no point in staying if it's true.
 

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NOt meaning to sound harsh, but it really is true that if she owns the property, she calls the shots. Things ARENT fair. Wait a bit, stay quiet and things will likely settle down.
 

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OP didn't state how long this harassment has been going on, but the fact that owner's gotten b'day & xmas giftS (in the plural) suggests that it's been over a year. If it's gone on unabated for even 6 months, that's a loonng 6 months, or at least it would be for me. There's got to be some cut-off point, to call it quits. Now, I'd really like to know how long it's gone on - OP?
 

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If my trainer ever treated me like that I'd be out the door that instant and taking all my horses and CASH with me. She doesn't deserve your money if she's going to be like that.
 

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I am with you there SorrelHorse, but the OP is a minor, her parents are the ones with the cash.
 

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I'd move out and find somewheres else to go. Bunched panties and maybe possibly barn gossip seem to have set in and she clearly has made up her mind if she's "out to get you" so to speak. She probably has over heard you saying her training basically sucks or that she doesn't know what she's doing and that's fine if you think that but she takes in offensively. If it were me I would just move. I don't like the barn gossip/drama bs.
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I'd move out and find somewheres else to go. Bunched panties and maybe possibly barn gossip seem to have set in and she clearly has made up her mind if she's "out to get you" so to speak. She probably has over heard you saying her training basically sucks or that she doesn't know what she's doing and that's fine if you think that but she takes in offensively. If it were me I would just move. I don't like the barn gossip/drama bs.
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How would you take it if it were you?
 

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I would be offended too. I'm saying she's fine to think that but publicize it isn't right especially in her barn where it's most likely to get back to her. That's asking for trouble.

ETA if you did publicize this in her barn and that's the reason for bunched panties you asked for this situation
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