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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
As many of you know.....since day one Phoebe has been quite the stinker. She's FULL with attitude, likes to kick, pins her ears over everything, and just isn't a real personable horse. We don't let her get away with these things either and that's why it's most frustrating because she just ISN'T getting over it. We weaned her almost two months ago and she did quiet down a lot but still has bouts of MAJOR attitude. She is a pretty little thing, albeit petite, but has gorgeous movement and is very trainable/smart. I'm just afraid that her attitude and constantly wanting to challenge us is never going to 100% go away and she will always have that in there somewhere....especially when she's challenged back. She LOVES to argue and fight back. I don't know if I want to deal with that. I've never really had a huge connection with her. I bred Lindy to get a baby so that I would always have a piece of her. But, I'm not going to keep putting money into her every month if we don't mesh. On the other hand though......I think to myself well what if she does eventually stop this behavior completely and is a little angel and I missed out on a great little horse? I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

BUTTT getting to the rest of the story....the breeder has a half sister to my other filly Ruby. Who was actually raised with Ruby. Ruby's mother adopted this filly because she was abandoned by her mother. She has a VERY similar temprement personality to Ruby which I LOVE. They are so sweet, wouldn't hurt a fly, never act up/are mean, and just soooo much easier to deal with. She's offering me an even trade. She takes Phoebe and I take this other filly. I know that Phoebe will get a great home, this breeder trains horses for a living (and does a REALLY nice job) and will deal with her attitude WAYYY better than me. This filly doesn't have as much handling as mine at this point but Ruby didn't either when we loaded her in the trailer and we NEVER had a problem. She was born "broke" I swear. lol

This is the story of my filly Ruby, and the filly in question.

Mare adopting a rejected foal *NEW PICS*


and just for reference....here is Phoebe.





Filly in question...

Awkward weanling/gangly stage...



About 2 weeks ago...


PLEASE HELP!!! opinions! lol I feel like I'm betraying Phoebe sort of....but yet I don't know. UGH :cry:
 

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Well considering her age and her attitude now, I would assume if it continues she could get pretty dangerous. Have you consulted a trainer? Also, have you handled young horses before? I'm sure the last thing you want is to trade your current horse and get a perfect angel only to find that the horse attributed the same problems as your last one.
 
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yes I have owned multiple babies before and never had this problem before. She is handled by a trainer everyday to be turned out etc as she runs the place.
 

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Maybe your little problem needs a come to jesus meeting? Personally, I don't like to just hand off problems without really trying to deal with it. Our yearling was such a little snothead when we got him, I hated him. As a 2 year old, I -tried- to bathe him and desensitize him to the hose, and his hind leg grazed my hair. As a 3 year old, I didn't even give him the chance to act like an idiot. He got tied to the fence and sprayed until he quit fighting.

Maybe she just needs a very firm hand? As soon as I quit trying to be the nice guy to our 3 year old when he needed to have groundwork put on, he learned and knocked his behavior off. Sure, I probably scared the stupidity out of him, but now all of my friends ride him, and he's only 5.

When does she threaten to kick, etc? Maybe she just needs a while to mature, mentally.


I'm looking forward to others respones, subbing
 

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Personally, I would go through with the trade.

If your not clicking with Phoebe, and have the opportunity to get a filly you would click with, then why not?

I do think the other filly is flashier then Phoebe too. And I am a sucker for flash...
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
We have been getting after for her entire existence (6 1/2 months). It's getting old because she just doesn't get the picture. The SECOND she acts up I'm correcting her and firmly. I don't put up with her crap.

She will be fine and a cutie for a couple weeks and then revert back to being a witch. I don't get it....I have never had a horse be this bipolar. It doesn't make sense!

I'm just not sure I want to keep a horse that needs THIS much discipline ALL THE TIME....or that I feel like I can't rust depending on "what mood she's in". And it's not just because she's a mare/filly. People have told me that too....mares are my favorite and that's because I've always had good experiences with them.
 

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it sounds like your not clicking with phoebe. I bought a weanling years ago that I didn't click with. I fought with him for YEARS before finally selling him, and it still felt like giving up. He excelled with his owners, and is now jumping courses bareback and bridle less at 5. I honestly wish I had sold him sooner.

You have a great opportunity, to get a filly you really like and give your filly a home you trust. I would trade.
 

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Do you get on with every person you meet? Do you stay friends with everyone that you know? I doubt it, sometimes the fit just isn't right. Personally I would swap, but then I am easily swayed by a bit of chrome:lol:

My new resolution is not to feel guilty about, or live with horses that I just don't jell with. I have listed my filly for sale, I bred her to be my heart horse, my forever horse, I love her mother to pieces, her sire was also dear to my heart, but *whispers* I don't actually like her that much, looks and build wise she is everything I ordered, but I really don't like the way she is we don't get on, I get frustrated when working with her, which is unusual because I have endless patience normally, but we are just not communicating.

I'm getting to old for this hit, so I'm selling her, so yeah, the voice of age and experience says if you are not enjoying trying to unravel the puzzle of what makes her click let someone else try.
 

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This is why I always advise against people who want to breed their mare because they love her and want to, as you say, "keep and piece of her" or hope to get exactly what they want by starting from the beginning. It very often does not work out. Please don't take that as me harping on you for trying, I can understand the draw and until you've done it you can be kind of blind and deaf to other people telling you it may not work out.

I would take the trade if I were you. This is an opportunity for you to provide her with a good home that you trust and that will probably be able to give her what she needs. And you still get the opportunity to do most of the filly's training.
 

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First of all, at my age and in my current situation, I'd take the trade because I don't want to be endlessly bitten, kicked, and thrown. You also shouldn't keep a horse you do not like or cannot use if that horse can be rehomed safely.

However, she's a BABY, guys. I've had a few that were awful until they were mature enough to learn very much. I had a bay QH gelding that I got as a long yearling, and he was pretty much evil. He kicked me, he was scared of everything, and when I started him under saddle he would go between being very good to bolting and rearing. Eventually, I turned him out for a while to grow up. As a 4 year old, all that started to go away and he matured in to a real nice horse. He is 15 now, and I talked to his current owner last year. They told me he was one of the best trail horses they'd had. Sometimes they grow out of it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
First of all, at my age and in my current situation, I'd take the trade because I don't want to be endlessly bitten, kicked, and thrown. You also shouldn't keep a horse you do not like or cannot use if that horse can be rehomed safely.

However, she's a BABY, guys. I've had a few that were awful until they were mature enough to learn very much. I had a bay QH gelding that I got as a long yearling, and he was pretty much evil. He kicked me, he was scared of everything, and when I started him under saddle he would go between being very good to bolting and rearing. Eventually, I turned him out for a while to grow up. As a 4 year old, all that started to go away and he matured in to a real nice horse. He is 15 now, and I talked to his current owner last year. They told me he was one of the best trail horses they'd had. Sometimes they grow out of it.
Yeah...and that's what I'm afraid would happen. And I'd miss out on a really great little horse. bleh :-(
 

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Yeah, but I ate a lot of dirt over it. And some fence panels. I was a teenager, so I still sort of bounced. No way would I deal with it now. I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to do it. That's why I said I'd take the trade. She may work out wonderfully, but she will probably need professional training, or a very stubborn teenager, lol.
 

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Yeah...and that's what I'm afraid would happen. And I'd miss out on a really great little horse. bleh :-(
But would you have enjoyed the journey getting there. Doesn't sound like you will. I'd trade. Time with horses should be enjoyed. Work is work and it all has to be done, but it can be enjoyable with a horse and with another not so much. Enjoy the journey......trade.
 

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I think I'm going to do it guys!! I'm going to see the new filly on Saturday just to make sure! :)
good! I knew a filly that sounds a lot like your phoebe. she turned into a great horse, and her owner adored her, but it took blood, sweat, tears and a whole pile of determination(bruides, pulled tendons and whiplash) to get her there. I don't think thats a road you want to take.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
good! I knew a filly that sounds a lot like your phoebe. she turned into a great horse, and her owner adored her, but it took blood, sweat, tears and a whole pile of determination(bruides, pulled tendons and whiplash) to get her there. I don't think thats a road you want to take.
Not really.......lol
 

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I've said it before and I am sure I will again: IMO, life is too short to have a horse you don't like. Maybe she'll grow up into a lovely mare, maybe not. How much worse will you feel if three years from now you still don't have a horse you enjoy working with? Especially if there is the potential for you to get seriously injured because you two butt heats on a regular basis. It would be different if you were on a working farm and needed a horse to do a job, but when barn/horse time is supposed to be pleasure/fun/relaxing time as it is for me and most pleasure riders, it's just not worth it. You just have to make the best decision you can based on what you know and see now.

Take pictures to share on Saturday? :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
I've said it before and I am sure I will again: IMO, life is too short to have a horse you don't like. Maybe she'll grow up into a lovely mare, maybe not. How much worse will you feel if three years from now you still don't have a horse you enjoy working with? Especially if there is the potential for you to get seriously injured because you two butt heats on a regular basis. It would be different if you were on a working farm and needed a horse to do a job, but when barn/horse time is supposed to be pleasure/fun/relaxing time as it is for me and most pleasure riders, it's just not worth it. You just have to make the best decision you can based on what you know and see now.

Take pictures to share on Saturday? :)
EXACTLY!!

I will don't worry. :) :)
 
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