[Roman]

I noticed this in several different places with different people. One person has an opinion and others who disagree come and rain fire on that person. I have experienced it too. I've had my comments deleted because my opinion or advice didn't match up to whoever made the video, or I was called names because I didn't agree.

In the horse world, there are a billion opinions, advice, and methods. What works for someone else's horse may work for another person's horse but not yours. But that does not mean it is a bad method or piece of advice.

Sometimes, someone's opinion can be so plain and simple, and more than often people can misunderstand what happened so their advice isn't all that helpful.

Everybody has their own way of doing things whether we like it or not. Some advice or methods may be great while others seem silly.

I try to be neutral about all the methods, advice, and opinions. While I have my own and may not agree with others, I still respect their opinion because it is theirs.

I only hope that in return, they respect mine.

 

[squirrelfood]

I do however, have a large problem having respect for opinions that are harmful and dangerous. And I do seem to get a LOT of disrespect here for what IS my opinion.

 

[Roman]

I do however, have a large problem having respect for opinions that are harmful and dangerous. And I do seem to get a LOT of disrespect here for what IS my opinion.

Yes of course, what sounds dangerous and harmful it not okay. :wink: But we all know we just want that person to be safe.

 

[Incitatus32]

It's a trend I see growing in the horse world.... and that to me is scary. I know I was told by my showmanship trainer that I "ride horses wrong" and "whoever taught me how to ride obviously didn't need to be riding horses". She wasn't too pleased when I told her there was 10,001 ways to ride a horse. Saddened me because she's so one minded that she can't improve her instructing and I came to her to learn a different style and bring new ideas into MY training/riding.

My trainer who taught me to ride has multiple national championships under her belt, and adapts her lesson/training program to do whatever it takes. Even if it's unconventional or 'outside' methods that they normally don't use.

Squirrelfood, while I do agree with you I think that it's very difficult to determine harmful and dangerous in some cases. I say this because of the variety of ways things can be done and what the situation is.

 

[squirrelfood]

It's not all that difficult when you have spent your somewhat long life knowing what can, and usually does happen when you do certain things with a horse. Some things are very rarely anything BUT a disaster about to happen.

 

[Cordillera Cowboy]

Hello Roman. I know that I have disagreed with you on at least one occasion. I try to make it a point to be logical and non-confrontational when I disagree with anyone. I trust that you are confident enough in your own advice, opinions, or methods to rebut any argument I make with another given in the same spirit.

 

[tinyliny]

I cannot help but weight my respect for someone's opinion in favor of age and experience, which used to infuriate me when I was young and totally without experience.

 

[LynnF]

I tend to just keep my head down and let people do what they will, it`s not my place to judge somebody`s methods. In the end it`s their horse, and them who is going to have to deal with the outcome of said training methods. I try not to share my opinion unless somebody asks for it because nothing infuriates me more than when I am working with a horse and somebody sticks their nose in to tell me I am doing something `wrong`.

 

[Mulefeather]

I think some folks are disrespectful not based on WHAT is said, but HOW it is said. An old Winston Churchill quote reads "Tact is the ability to tell a man to go to Hell, and make him look forward to the trip."

If you lack tact, and respect for your fellow person, then your message is likely to get lost because that other person IMMEDIATELY becomes defensive. Think of the last person who was nasty to you for what you viewed as no real reason - would you be encouraged to listen to what this person had to say, even if they were a huge expert on something you desperately needed or wanted to learn? Most likely not.

My point being, that when you think you are being disrespected, look at how you are presenting your opinion. Some folks on here have a way of making it sound like their opinion is followed by the unspoken sentence of "And you are an idiot if you believe otherwise".

 

[Jessabel]

That should go without saying. Key word, should. :wink:

I try to let things slide as long as it's harmless. You kind of have to in the horse world. People are opinionated by default and you'll never get along with anyone if you let every disagreement bother you. I don't even agree with my closest barn friends all the time, but we're big girls and we're there for each other at the end of the day.

 

[Saddlebag]

There's an old adage, "what I said is not what you heard" which applies to what's been written as well. I had started a thread on HF and was amazed at how many people jumped in and voiced their opinions when it was clear they hadn't really read what I'd said but perhaps glanced at it. Then other voiced their opinions on those opinions.

 

[tinyliny]

There's an old adage, "what I said is not what you heard" which applies to what's been written as well. I had started a thread on HF and was amazed at how many people jumped in and voiced their opinions when it was clear they hadn't really read what I'd said but perhaps glanced at it. Then other voiced their opinions on those opinions.

but that is the nature of a "thread"; it weaves in and out and goes somewhere, not always in a straight line. you don't have "ownership" of a thread, once you start it. this can be hard for people to understand.

 

[squirrelfood]

True, but that's no good reason for poor reading skills.

 

[anndankev]

squirrelfood: I like you.

Roman: I like you, too.



P.S. Saddlebag and Tiny, I like you, too. And all the posters on page 1 also.

 

[Zexious]

I'll start by saying that I like to stay as respectful as possible, regardless as to whether an opinion falls in line with mine.

That said, there is a flip side to this as well.
If someone is going to post their opinion on a public forum or site (such as this one or youtube) it is naive to think that people won't present their own opinions. Furthermore, it is very easy to get offended over the internet, or blow things out of proportion, simply because there is no way to read facial expression or tone. Someone may read something as disrespectful when it is really just a difference in opinion. That's just the nature of the beast.

 

[tinyliny]

Amen , Z!

 

[frlsgirl]

I started a thread on another forum and at first I got a couple of answers but then the people that answered starting disagreeing with each other and 20 something responses later, they are still bickering amongst each other.

In response, one of the posters changed her tagline to "freeing worms from cans everywhere"

 

[jmike]

I think that it's very difficult to determine harmful and dangerous in some cases. I say this because of the variety of ways things can be done and what the situation is.

i wholeheartedly agree with this

something may or may not be dangerous because of the situation, or with who is doing it
it is extremely hard to guage someones ability to recognize and avoid danger
equally hard to guage a horses ability to recognize and avoid danger

what is potentially harmful or dangerous for one rider-pair, may be far from harmful or dangerous for another rider-pair

anyone here familiar with risk avoidance/risk mitigation?

 

[jaydee]

We all have opinions and sometimes we can be very passionate about them
We can all have bad days when things/people have a nasty way of annoying us far more than they normally would. Even when that one little voice in our heads tells us to walk away the other little voice tells us to get in there and give it all we've got
Sometimes replies to posts are worded badly because we don't read or interpret the post we're responding too correctly
I do have a pet peeve about threads being taken off track purely to create an argument that had nothing at all the do with an OP's question
We can never agree with everyone 100% of the time but a good member is someone that can disagree with you politely and informatively on one thread and then 'like' your posts on another thread
And just as no two people are the same neither are any two horses - so what works for one may not work for another and in the same way totally different methods can work on the same horse with equally good results

 

[horseluvr2524]

I tend to just keep my head down and let people do what they will, it`s not my place to judge somebody`s methods. In the end it`s their horse, and them who is going to have to deal with the outcome of said training methods. I try not to share my opinion unless somebody asks for it because nothing infuriates me more than when I am working with a horse and somebody sticks their nose in to tell me I am doing something `wrong`.

Exactly, this is what I try to do as well. In the case of the new boarder at my barn, I often see her on the ground trying to get her horse to do something, usually sidepass. The first time (I was riding in the arena while she was doing a bit of on line ground work) I very politely came up and asked what she was trying to do as there was quite a bit of miscommunication going on between her and the horse. I then offered a few different methods of getting what she wanted and the use of my training tools, then left it at that. I told her very bluntly to please tell me if I was getting in her way or being a bother, as I don't like others offering 'advice' (most people are not polite. I had an old BO tell me off for riding my horse in a halter. I had signed the liability release and it wasn't any of her business what I did with my horse) at times when it is unwelcome, I am busy, or have my own method and they just don't understand what I'm doing. Because I am a younger person people liked to tell me what to do all the time. I've made more progress with my horse in the past year away from those people than in the previous 3 years around those people.

This is why I'm always careful to offer advice in a friendly, suggestive, kind, helpful manner and not "tell" people (unless they are actually taking a lesson from me) what to do. I think it's important also to be able to recognize those who will actually listen to and consider your advice and those who only want to do things their way and never try anything new or different. With the latter, you're wasting your time as the helpful suggestions fall on deaf ears.

I am reminded of my short stint around mini rodeo queens/barrel racers: "You LIKE wearing a helmet?" Me: "Yes, yes I do." They couldn't fathom it. On top of that I hate hats! :lol: (now, let's not insinuate here and think that I am the type that yells at people for not wearing helmets. I'm not. They just couldn't figure out why I actually wanted to wear one!)