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Okay so im a go to gal for younger kids who need advice with horses, im not the greatest, but better then nothing(and free). Anyway I have a girl that needs help with her horse, she is coming by in the morning so I can help her with a few tips. She says her horse 'doesn't turn' and is very barn sour and she cant get it to do anything. From what she has told me it isn't a well trained horse(or at least a horse that doesn't respect her) and she is a beginner. She has a hillside area and her horse DOESNT LUNGE. One thing she said was I can sit on her in the field and let her eat, but when I try to get her to go or something she gets mad :-x she must not be willing to 'force' her horse to do anything, or she just doesn't know how.

So what on earth can I teach this girl? I want to inspire her, so heres what I was thinking I would show her what her horse can do if she commits to it, I was going to hop on my best horse, and run around the barrels without a headstall, also back her up and go sideways and all that stuff that might impress a beginner and tell her its a lot of hard work and it is going to take time but she can get there(a LOT of hard work).

The point to this is I want to teach her how to train a horse to be soft. I want to get on(I would start with ground exercises for softness of course) my 2 year old who has been ridden 2 times and show her how I would do this with an untrained horse(and honestly a very hard horse). I would also show her that she needs to do a lot of arena type work before she will be able to take her horse out on the trails. I want to show her just few basic things that will help her earn her horses respect.

I know this may not help her but she told me her parents are convinced there is nothing wrong with this horse, she said she wanted to have it trained but they told her she could handle it.

Anyway please don't nag me, a few simple suggestions would be nice though(nothing major). I was also gonna put a girl that helps me on one of my mares and show her how even without a halter that horse will follow me anywhere and the rider just has to sit there and do nothing because the horse trusts and respects me. I not going to let her ride one of the horses, maybe my friends old nag just to show her what I mean by soft and have her demonstrate for me so I can show her the proper way. Im worried that she will get hurt on her horse, I offered to help with the horse but the parents don't want the horse worked with so I told her I would just show her a few things.

I think teaching her to train the horse to be soft(and respect her) would be the best thing, nothing more I can really do without working with the horse in person. I also don't want to make her so confident that she goes home and gets on and expects to be able to do everything :? bad situation for everyone involved I think. Just wondering if my suggestion will help or hurt depending on how bad the horse really is, but if she is going to be riding it anyway(with or without my help) I guess it will help her.
 

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It might be better to take a look at how the girl and her horse "work" together and see if you think it is a horse issue or if the girl just doesn't know how to be assertive.

I know me, personally, would get kind of discouraged if someone "showed off" what their horse could do and I couldn't get mine to do anything! But that might just be me......I get discouraged easily and I admit that.

So I guess I would go at it from the perspective from assessing the situation and seeing how the two interact and then seeing if you can teach her how to be more assertive and ask the horse correctly. (Assuming the horse isn't used to getting it's way and won't get someone hurt.)

It's really hard to give advice over the internet because there are so many variables.
 

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I'd give her a copy of Clinton Anderson's lunging for respect. You can't teach a horse to be soft if it is the boss and has no respect!
 

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I would evaluate the horse, evaluate the girl and go from there. It does not really matter what your horse does, if she does not know how to gain her horses respect, ride a horse, or if the horse really is that bad and needs training nothing your horse does matters. She is most likely frustrated from lack of knowledge and needs to start with the basics on the ground with the horse.

Letting her lunge your horse, and ride your horse if she is capable, to get a feel for what it should be like may be more productive. Depending upon the age of the girl and her experience her horse may just be to much horse for her, in which case someone needs to talk to the parents. If the horse just needs manners then spend time teaching her how to gain control of her horses feet.
 

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I'm amazed at the number of parents who are apparently willing to let their kids go off on untrained, disrespectful horses. If she can't 'handle' it, then what happens? She gets hurt, perhaps seriously.

I think it's great you're going to help this girl, I'm just frankly shocked at how lackadaisical these people seem to be towards the welfare of their own kid.

I would say though, that riding your own horse awesomely probably won't help, it will, as other posters said, just magnify her own shortcomings. If you can get her on another horse that does know how to work then that's a good start in building her confidence.
 

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Before anything else the most important thing is how the two interact.

I would make it clear it's hard work. I would also make it clear sometimes it may be unpleasant ("forcing" the mare to do something she doesn't want to) but the end result is a better relationship, a happier horse, a happier rider, and more fun.

I would go to her and work with her and the horse together. I would NOT have her go to you unless you want to put her on the "old nag" you mentioned to putt around a little.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Here is where the situation is sticky, her parents do not want me over there AT ALL, they are all like if she cant handle the horse then maybe she shouldn't ride it, so she is very discouraged, which is why I wanted to show her all the cool things her horse can do with practice. Something gives me a bad impression about these people. I want her to come out here so that I can show her some things to do with her horse, but I dont want her riding mine because I don't want anyone getting mad at me. I was just going to show her how to do a few things to get her started.
 

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without her working with her own horse under the guidance of somebody knowledgeable, there is no way i see this ending well.
I know :? I told her I would come out but she said her parents didn't want anyone to. I know im knowledgeable enough to teach the horse, people are harder:lol:
 

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Yes teach her how to lounge for respect!!! Its surprising how few people actually know how to. Since learning I do it daily with my extremely disrespectful and spoiled mare. And her personality completely changed. Im a beginner and this has helped me and my horse so much! Sure for the first few days I was incredibly sore but now shes very soft and responsive
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Yes teach her how to lounge for respect!!! Its surprising how few people actually know how to. Since learning I do it daily with my extremely disrespectful and spoiled mare. And her personality completely changed. Im a beginner and this has helped me and my horse so much! Sure for the first few days I was incredibly sore but now shes very soft and responsive
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Yeah I told her to do this before I ever even suggested her coming out but she seems very hesitant, stating the horse WONT. maybe ill have her lunge a few of mine. I think she just doesn't want to make her horse do anything.
 

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Obviously the parents are ignorant of horses and went out and bought the 1st one that came along. I'm guessing that they are regretting the decision and want this girl to also get so discouraged that she gives up and they can get rid of it. This happens constantly in my area where parents give in to horse crazy little girls and buy without doing research into what owning entails, and without providing the kid with at least riding lessons.

They don't want you or anyone else on their property so you have to honor that. However, if the girl is allowed to hang out at your place with you all you can do is have her watch how you handles and work with your own. Explain why and how for everything you do, starting at the very bottom basics like leading, tying, grooming etc., then work up from there. Let her practice a bit but continue to correct her.

Lunging isn't going to be possible since her home area is hilly so you will have show her other methods of making a horse respect a human.
It's obvious she should have been started in riding lessons long before her parents bought her this horse but it sounds like this is not going to happen.
You may have to just back off from your ambition to help this girl and just do the little bit that you can do. Don't get your own hopes up too much.

Chances are that the parents will wake up and sell this horse anyway-they will become disgusted with having invested so much time and $$$$ in a project that this child can't handle.

Sad, but it happens all the time.:?
 

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... Something about this just screams Lawsuit waiting to happen.

I'd that the horse out of it's environment permently, if possible, and YOU work that horse for the next month or so. It hard for a beginner to learn anything on a horse that doesn't know what their doing. Plus, it gives the other owner and break and some time to "refresh" their attitude towards the horse. Invite her to watch your sessions and explain what your doing an why your doing it so she can take it in.
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Like SlideStop my brain instantly went to lawsuit. Have you considered what would happen if she was injured while under your tutelage and they sued you? Do you have liability insurance? I'm not trying to sound negative because I have helped kids out too, and know you are trying to do something nice for this kid, but these are things to consider, especially if you get a bad vibe from the parents. How old is the girl? Does she have permission to come get help (if she is a minor)? Are you a minor too?

Personally I would start with ground work (with your horses if need be), teaching her how to get horses respect from the ground first. I would also try to talk with the parents and get them on board. If they will not agree to allow you to help her then really not much you can do and she will not be able to make much progress I am afraid.
 

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Here is where the situation is sticky, her parents do not want me over there AT ALL, they are all like if she cant handle the horse then maybe she shouldn't ride it, so she is very discouraged, which is why I wanted to show her all the cool things her horse can do with practice. Something gives me a bad impression about these people. I want her to come out here so that I can show her some things to do with her horse, but I dont want her riding mine because I don't want anyone getting mad at me. I was just going to show her how to do a few things to get her started.
how old are you?
how old is the girl?

i am wondering why they wouldn't want you over there?
did they actually say "if she cant handle the horse then maybe she shouldn't ride it" ?
if you can get her out there without having problems with her parents, go for it.
if you can speak with the parents and teach the girl how to work her horse safely, go for it.

as a beginner myself, before i had lessons, my daughters new horse gave me all sorts of problems -- problem #1 was that i did not recognize bad behaviour for what it was ---- problem #2 was that i did not know how to go about correcting bad behaviour

so, i believe Yogiwick hit the nail on the head when he said you need to see how the horse/rider pair work together
 

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Here is where the situation is sticky, her parents do not want me over there AT ALL, they are all like if she cant handle the horse then maybe she shouldn't ride it, so she is very discouraged, which is why I wanted to show her all the cool things her horse can do with practice. Something gives me a bad impression about these people. I want her to come out here so that I can show her some things to do with her horse, but I dont want her riding mine because I don't want anyone getting mad at me. I was just going to show her how to do a few things to get her started.
I would invite the parents out too...if that's an option. One thing that bothers me more than anything is parents allowing their child to have something like a horse, but not enforcing the responsibility of it. SO MANY PEOPLE get involved in horses who think it's just like having a dog. Then, really good horses go to waste because their owners don't know how to communicate with it. I kind of agree with the parents...if she can't handle the horse, she shouldn't ride it. But if you look at it that way, she won't be able to ride ANY horse because even the best trained horse will be untouchable if there isn't proper communication.

I feel for ya. It's a tough spot to be in. Lots of outcomes here. Hopefully nobody (horse included)gets hurt or offended. Good luck!
 

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Without knowing what her horse is like there is no way I'd show the girl how to do anything. Working with your trained horses is a whole other ball game than one who may know nothing. Most of training is anticipating problems & preventing them from happening or being able to make quick corrections. That girl can't do that.
Your horses may lunge great, hers make scoot in & throw a kick.
 

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Something else going on there if they are that adamant about no one there...what I can't tell, but have a few thoughts, and none of them are good ones. Normal people would be glad to have someone help.

I'd waste no time on showing her what your horse can do. Your time with her may be very, very limited, so teach her how to lead, move horse, halter, basics that she can safely work on at home.

You may only get one chance to help her, so stick to that.

Might get her subscription to horse magazine? IF they will allow that.
 
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