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The Lost Old Hat

An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favourite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of the vestibule.

When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door, and took him to a pew where he had to sit and listen to the entire sermon on the ten commandments.

After church, the man met the preacher in the vestibule doorway, shook his hand vigorously, and told him, "I want to thank you, preacher, for saving my soul today. I came to church to steal a hat and after hearing your sermon on the ten commandments, I decided against it."

The preacher said, "You mean the commandment 'I shall not steal' changed your mind?"

The old man replied, "No, the one about adultery did. As soon as you said that, I remembered where I left my old hat!"

The Fallen Parishioners

An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery. During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit!"

Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word "fallen" instead. From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen." This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93.

Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor. The priest was quite concerned, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about having fallen!"

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code word to the new priest.

But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know why you're laughing; your wife fell three times last week!"
 

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The last one was really cute. Thanks for sharing :)
 

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You're welcome :lol:
 
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