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So, kids, yea or nae?

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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
So, I am not going to talk about the "no breeding horses" bandwagon, rather the "no having kids" one.

When I was little I loved playing with baby dolls, but I was very mature for my age and even then, I knew that I didn't want kids.


I was diagnosed with cervical cancer over a year ago, and was told that I may never have kids depending on whether or not I would have to undergo severe treatment. Again, I was fine with this, though my family freaked out and told me I needed to have one now just in case, I just looked at every one like they were crazy and gave a curt no thank you and that was the end of it.

Now my boyfriend wants to have kids(not right away, but he definitely wants them and @ the very least 2) he has a large family and wants to "continue the bloodline" GAH! (He has very strong Scottish and Celt ancestry, the McGregor clan I think...)


Regardless what he wants, I think that that it would be irresponsible on my part with the way the economy is going, the state of the planet in general, and just my lack of want for a child, to have one. I think I am not financially able to give it what it needs, and will not be for at least 10 or so years until I am out of school, and then I want to be able to focus on my career. Plus, with the divorce rate today, it makes me hesitate because I grew up in a very broken and blended family and it was terrible, I don't want my progeny to have that same problem growing up.

So are there any of you out there like me? Not giving in to the baby craze? or do you think it is selfish not to bring another life to the planet?

Lets hear some opinions!
 

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I absolutely do not want kids. I'm 19 and engaged, getting married next October, and my fiance and I don't want kids at all. He's got 4 younger siblings all under the age of 6. We babysit them all weekend long, usually every weekend. And we about fall over dead at the thought of little munchkins running around. Esp. considering Pat and I had a hard enough time in school, and we don't want to have to deal with the school issues anymore. We have intricate plans for the future, such as a house built from scratch once we are older with unusual plans for the layout, etc. We'd rather enjoy spending time together, and with friends, and doing the things we love(computers, graphic design, and horses) rather than have to stress about work and kids and school. We're still young and our ideas MIGHT change, but we doubt it as of right now.
 

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Will definetely be having kids once I get married! I love kids, and hope to go towards working in the education "field".
 

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Discussion Starter #4
A lot of my friends are getting into education, mostly elementary.
 

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I want kids someday, but right now I can't support children. I am not engaged, but my boyfriend and I see ourselves getting married in the future. We both want children, but only once we are settled both financially and emotionally. I will not get divorced once I am married. I refuse...lol.

I want to have a couple kids and adopt some. I think that before I ever have kids I may foster. There is a huge need for foster parents, and I think it is something that people should do more often. I think that it is a perfectly logical thing not to have kids for personal reasons.
 

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I think it is really your personal decision. I wouldn't rush and have a kid just for the sake of having one any more than I would go to the store and buy a puppy on an impulse buy. At least you are smart enough to know that you are not in a financial situation to raise a kid, nor do you really have the desire.

My husband and I really want kids(4 at least), but we are waiting until we are financially able to give them every thing they need. We also want to have the farm up and running at that point so I can homeschool my kids until middle school at the earliest.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
irydehorses4lyfe, that sounds pretty much like me too.

My best friend went on the baby track right when we graduated and ow has a 5 month old little girl and had to drop out of college. This is her first boyfriend and though they are engaged they have only been together a year(including the 9 months of baby time!) Now she cannot find a job and childcare so she does not work, he is not in school but working overtime all of the time to take care of the three of them... I think it is sad they just would not wait.

There are only 4 girls in my graduating class(of eighty people) who have not had kids or are pregnant, 4 girls, including me! some people just start too young and never get a chance to really live like a young couple should IMO.
 

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I agree with you - I have never, and never will want children.
My entire family has been tellng me "you'll change your mind", but I know I will not. I don't think it is very responsible in today's world to bring more children into it, with the amounts of children going without. If I suddenly decided I wanted to raise one I would adopt, although I doubt I'll want any.
 

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Where is the "already have too many" option?

I have 4. No I'm not having anymore. I only wanted 2.

But aren't they adorable?

 

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I agree with you - I have never, and never will want children.
My entire family has been tellng me "you'll change your mind", but I know I will not. I don't think it is very responsible in today's world to bring more children into it, with the amounts of children going without. If I suddenly decided I wanted to raise one I would adopt, although I doubt I'll want any.

That's pretty nice to say on a forum where some members actually do have children.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Your munchkins are adorable!! What are their names? How old? Any future horsekiddies?

And remember anything posted here is strictly personal opinion. No need to be sensitive about any others opinions.

If you have kids you do it because it is your personal choice, those who do not have their personal choice too.

I asked for opinions here, and that is what are going to be posted, please do not make this into a personal insult if you have kids and someone else thinks that it is irresponsible to have them, it is their choice. At the same time so not bash anyone who has kids, that is their choice and I am sure the kidlets are loved and spoiled rotten!

This is not the kid bashing thread!
 

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Sorry it kind of felt like a personal attack on me. : (

I have 3 boys and a girl. Their names are Dillon, Rosalie, Logan and Luke.

I'm not going to sit here and lie and say that raising children is easy. At times I'm so overwhelmed I can't think straight. But I will say it is fulfilling. I had my first baby when I was a week shy of 19. For someone they might think that is worst thing that can happen. For me it was probably for the best.

I had quit school before I had even found out I was pregnant. I got a $15000 insurance settlement the day I turned 18. It took me 3 months to spend it. A month later I found out I was pregnant. I went back to school, I went to college and I tried to make something of my life.

I'm also not going to sit here and lie and say all of my children have the same biological father. My oldest are from an abusive relationship. Before we split up he had a visectomy. So I thought I was done. But then I met my husband. I realized that since he was young he would want kids of his own.

We agreed on one more child. After Logan was born I was scheduled to have my tubes tied but my doctor quit before I could have it done. It took me a few months to find another doctor. When I went in for the surgery consult I found out I was pregnant again. Which was a huge surprise because I had been using birth control.

I love my kids but I DO NOT condone having them young and when you aren't financially ready. It's been a long hard road for me and I would not wish it on anyone. BUT I would not take a second back because my kids are my world. As I say "It's hard to keep track of forty fingers and toes but it's their four little hearts that make mine whole".
 

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She was born Destiny. I had it legally changed last year to Rosalie. I love it too.
 

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I clicked yes - I think I'm ready now, but I already have one. I do plan to have one or two more some day.... Whenever it happens.

Those of you who say no, not in this world, and never... I know you've heard it a million times but... It is worth it, it is SO worth it. And is the world really all that bad?
 

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I'm not certain whether I want kids or not. Maybe later, much much later, in my late 30's or early 40's perhaps. I am not committed to having or not having them, obviously the first order of business would be to get a very good husband and I am one who will not have a relationship with a man that does not fit very high standards, I am content to live my life alone if I cannot find a suitable man. I would want to adopt or have my embryo in another woman, and only 1-2 kids. Adoption would be good because it is helping another child without adding more people into the population. Having an embryo in another woman would be nice because then I would be able to pass on my genes and the child would be more similar to me. I am fairly certain I do not want to get pregnant because of the physical toll of pregnancy and birth. I do not want to have some 3 ounce parasite inside me that limits my personal choices and upsets the chemical balance in my brain for 9 months. The embryo option was not available on the poll so I voted adoption.
 

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I want to have kids someday. I've always dreamed of being a mother, but I'm going to wait until I'm in my late 20's or early 30's, when I ready to settle down. I want to have a couple years to live without having to worry about taking care of kids and focusing on other things, like college (which I might be stuck in for a long time, depending on my career choice) and such. Than again, realty has an odd tendency to force my plans to change, so who knows.
 

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That's pretty nice to say on a forum where some members actually do have children.
Lots of people have children, it's really a personal choice. Heck, I'm someone's child. I have lots of cousins and family that have young children, and I love hanging out with them. However, I wouldn't personally feel right having kids.
Everyone has their own opinion, that's why we have discussion forums. :)
 

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I don't want kids. I don't like kids. I have zero patience and I like to be alone too much. I can say that right now, the idea of having kids completely turns me off but I don't know if I may change my mind someday. My brother has 3 and I adore them but I can only be around them for 2 or 3 hours before I am ready to get somewhere else. I prefer to be out by myself on a horse somewhere or in by myself reading a book or watching a movie. I despise noise and a crying child grates on my nerves. I don't know how you people with big families do it, I would go nuts. But everything comes on a spectrum. At one end are people like me that don't want kids at all and on the other end are people who love kids and want as many as they can have.
 
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