[horseluvr2524]

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The above poem by Robert Frost (no copyright infringement intended)I am using to start my new journal. I feel that it describes where I am at this point in my life. It's not the new year yet, but I feel that I'm at a point where I need to leave the past behind me.

A lot's changed for me in the past couple years. Just the past few months were very turbulent. My mom and her horse Belle are no longer a part of my life. She just moved stables a few days ago and that was pretty much the last connection I had with her. DH and I have been through the ringer recently, but God has been so good and provided every step of the way, and we are continuing to see new doors open.

I've let go of the dreams of showing and such. Being someone that's never been a ribbon winner, it's hard to let go of that need to feel like you must have something concrete that proves that you are a good rider and horseman. I realized that I wasn't wanting to show because it might be fun. I felt like I had to prove something, and to strangers no less that are for one reason or another advocated as authorities on horses, judging horse and rider teams whom perform (in a quite honest term) useless maneuvers in a ring. Kudos to those who do show, and I'm not meaning to demean you. But for me to show because of a strange need to prove myself, these are not the right reasons for me.

I will continue to practice dressage, but only for the purpose of improving my horse and myself. Also known as training level dressage :wink: I hope to get back to doing little jumps for fun, and setting up a small cross country course out in the desert. This will take some work, but it's only a half hour ride to my "gallop track" and it's such a nice section to set one up on.

Shan is doing well. Despite the colder nights, her arthritic symptoms have not returned. She is unfit, but so am I. If I can get two or three good rides in a week I will be very happy. I may have a connection with a trail riding business a street over from my boarding barn. That would be fun to get involved in. The barn is also getting new boarders in. The only other horse at the moment is one named "Peppi", he's a beautiful blue roan two year old stud colt. He's got a lot to learn about life, and how not to spook at things! Shan thinks he is 'oh so handsome', but just between us, he's a little young for her. I'm looking forward to maybe being able to help with his training, and riding with the other boarders soon to move in.

For those of you who don't know us, I have one horse. Shan (Cheyenne) is a BLM mustang/Tennessee walking horse cross (best guess) mare. She is currently 13 years old. I got her when she was 5, green on green. Did all the training myself, and she now rides English or western, jumps, bit of dressage, awesome trail horse, loads into any trailer, goes anywhere, rides alone or with others, ground drive, lunge, all that good stuff. She's my little star and I just love her to pieces. I can't wait to see what the years ahead hold in store for us.

 

[horseluvr2524]

I had some lovely replies to my first post, and they were lost to the "Great HF Update", where we all lost a bunch of posts over a certain time period. I'm sad about that, I really love the replies and support my lovely HF friends give.

So I'm really bad at journaling, because I wait SO long to update. A lot has happened.

I had one good ride on Shan before leaving for Christmas vacation. She got feisty and reared up (that little brat), since she hadn't been worked in so long she likes to find ways to act up.

I felt very strange over vacation, I thought I might be getting sick. Something didn't seem right. I had a feeling, came home, took a test... and found out that I am pregnant with our first child. My whole world turned upside down. It's not something we ever expected to happen, we never planned on it. But not keeping our little baby is NOT an option so... here we go!

We came back to a full barn of horses (just four stalls lol). The stud colt is gone. He was kind of risky, got out one day and nearly bred my mare through the fence. Yikes. The new boarders are as follows: A and her OTTB Pie, and two brothers with a mustang mare and gelding. A and I have become fast friends, and we go on a trail ride together every Monday. This is great because otherwise I don't have motivation to ride (my first trimester has been SUPER rough).

I noticed that Shan has been super careful with me ever since I got pregnant. She knew before I even knew. All the times where she would normally do an ornery protest in response to being asked to work after time off, she doesn't. She hasn't even been grinding her teeth (she's so opinionated lol!). I feel so safe with her, and she has really mellowed a lot over the past couple years. I feel that by the time our little tyke is ready to start riding, she will be a great babysitter horse.

A's horse Pie is a bit of a nervous guy. He also likes to crowhop when he wants to gallop and is told no. I'm a bit disappointed, because both Shan and I are dying to hit our desert gallop trail and carve it out. But I'm leery of riding out alone now, and A's horse probably won't be ready to try a canter for a while yet. If I wasn't pregnant, we probably would have switched horses and I would have galloped him out for her (I've acclimated a few OTTB's before). But since I am pregnant, I'm sticking with my steady eddie and avoiding unnecessary risk.

We have plans to move back to Ohio in April. We will be shipping Shan first, then heading to Virginia beach for a work vacation, then returning to where Shan will be at the family horse farm and finding our own place to stay. I'm excited to move out of the desert, and actually excited about the future. I'm so happy to be moving to where there is grass and leaves and trees and autumn and spring and summer and winter. Our baby will be able to play in the grass, and I will be able to try our DH's family's Walking horses. I'll get to hang out on the beach for a while this spring.

I feel so blessed and thankful for the opportunities we've been given. And I am so glad, and so thankful, that Shan will continue to be a constant part of my life. It is so cool that my own first horse, my first training project, first everything, will probably also be my child's first horse.

Ah, and don't worry, she's not too unpredictable to be a child's horse (especially a few years down the line). She knows how to figure people out. She has been nothing but gentle and careful with children and the inexperienced. But you get someone who knows what they are doing on her back, and she might test them a bit. Smart mustang.

 

[gottatrot]

Wow, congratulations on your big news!! I think Shan will be a great horse for your little one to learn on, and you will have a lot of fun teaching your kiddo how to ride.

 

[tinyliny]

Congratulations!!! you must be thrilled, and maybe a bit scared, too.
Hope you don't have too much trouble with morning sickness.

 

[whisperbaby22]

Yea, I think I started to follow this and I got lost in the shuffle. Now I will be able to follow posts as you are able to put them up, but you have a lot on your plate right now for sure.

 

[egrogan]

Congrats! Happy to find your journal and follow along.

 

[horseluvr2524]

Thank you everyone!
@tinyliny
I was really scared at first. I've always been afraid of child birth. But I thought about it, and thought about all the women that go through it, and how I have a high pain tolerance and have brushed off things that many women would have cried over. So I thought that 'if they can do it, so can I'. Now sometimes I might get a little bit scared, but mostly I'm excited.
The morning sickness has gotten a lot better, thanks! :grin:

Tonight's ride was awesome. A is becoming a fast friend and a huge support for me. She just had her first baby six months ago, so I've been able to ask questions, which has been comforting to me.

Shan was a bit spooky starting out, but so was Pi. She settled right down after a few minutes and I laughed and told A that she only spooks when she's got pent up energy. Kind of like a get out of work tactic, or maybe just to burn some of it off.

We got out at a decent time so were able to do the full trail loop. Pi was much better behaved this time. Shan got really excited and picked up a couple canter strides a few times, and Pi didn't go into a crowhopping fit. The trails were dusky just before sunset, and there wasn't any wildlife or people to be seen. It was very nice, just us and the horses and friendly chatter between us, while Shan and Pi took turns threatening to nip and flirting with each other.

With the exception of @gottatrot who I only rode with once, I have never had a riding buddy that I have enjoyed as much as A. I'm generally a quiet person until I get to know someone very well, but conversation between her and I just flows so easily. The quiet moments are comfortable and peaceful, but few and far between. Neither of us has an issue with a spontaneous change in gait, such as suddenly deciding to trot without warning. One reason I avoid rides with other people is because the etiquette of calling out "can we trot?" to the group every time gets old. So I enjoy riding with those who don't mind sudden change, and don't freak out when horses start acting like silly horses.

Unfortunately A is having some trouble with her western stirrups. She finds that after a period of time they cause her ankles to hurt and so she can't trot after that point. I have had similar problems with western saddles so I understand. I suggested putting a broom handle through them to turn them the way they need to be, but I'm not sure if that would help or not. A did go out and buy a used english saddle. It's a pretty nice one, not super expensive, but nice. She was missing a girth but I had an extra one laying around and gave it to her to use. I think she will like english better, once she gets comfortable with it.

I'm finding it fairly easy to sell off my excess equipment. Tonight one of the boarders asked me if I might sell my hoof boots to him, and if he could try them. I told him sure, and that I would sell him the set for $80 if he wanted them (being used and such). Then I could buy the hoof boots I really want (cavallos), so I hope they fit his horse. Not that Shan really needs hoof boots right now. She's not been tender on the rocks, and since I started doing my own trimming, it's easy to fix any chips of any overgrowth or such before they get worse.

That's about it for now. I'll probably post again next week. :wave:

 

[horseluvr2524]

It's been a while guys. I haven't posted because I haven't really done much with the horses. The next Monday ride was cancelled because A was trailering out with a friend she hadn't seen in a long time. The following Monday, I couldn't make it out because I had transportation problems.

The last week was pretty nutty. Had some issues with the other boarders (not A). A's horse Pi wasn't getting taken care of properly despite her paying for full board. So I gave her one of my slow feed nets and we worked out a schedule between us for feeding. I like it much better. She feeds on weekends for me when I can't really make it out easily, and I do the second feeding, turnout, and stall cleaning on weekdays.

This past Monday we did get together for a ride. But I didn't really ride. I'm just not feeling up to it as I've gotten further along in the pregnancy. So I asked A if she would help me out by riding Shan on Mondays. So we switched off, I would lunge and ground work one, while she rode the other.

I got to learn a few things about A's riding history from watching her, and noticed some fairly large holes in Pi's training. Shan showed me that A, while a good rider, has not learned how to reinforce her cues and gain body control over a horse that doesn't want to listen. My guess is she has mostly ridden the schoolmaster type that don't offer resistance. Working with Pi, I noticed that he does not like giving to pressure, on the ground or under saddle. While he will move out under saddle, he does NOT have a good stop, he doesn't turn well... in general he lacks training and control. And though he is soft when he does want to listen, he is more stubborn than Shan when he doesn't want to!

I started showing A some dressage on Shan, then had her get back on Pi and we did some exercises on getting him to relax. At anything faster than a walk, he likes to raise his head to evade the bit. And I don't mean that the problem is he won't travel "on the bit", he raises his head to the point where she doesn't have any control, he completely evades the bit. Unfortunately, she put a bigger bit on him to solve the stopping problem (I had her use one of my snaffles for the dressage exercises). As many have learned and know, a bigger bit does not guarantee a better stop. That comes with training. And it showed in what happened the next day.

Last night, I got a text from her. She had a bad fall on Pi. She was heading out to the trail, but it got windy and he started getting very excited. So she decided to turn around and head back and just work in the arena. At this point, he started bucking and bolted down the street. She just barely got him turned a ways down the street, then they ran into a tree as she fell down. Her entire side basically got slammed into the tree as she fell, with the weight and speed on impact. She can't put weight on it as of now. I told her not to worry about getting out to the barn, I can take care of the horses.

I felt so bad for her. We had a long text conversation, and while I apologized if I came across as a "know it all" as I was just trying to be helpful, I said that Pi really needed ground work and arena work to fix these problems he's got. I offered her use of Shan anytime she likes. I said that I think if she can learn to ride Shan well and get her to do what she wants, it will help her with Pi. While Shan can be lazy, she is super safe and a great trail horse. She should be a good confidence builder for A.

I think that if A had been able to gain body control over Pi that bolt would have ended much differently. But he seems to have learned that if he doesn't want to listen, he doesn't have to. He hasn't been taught the one rein stop, she can pull his head to her knee and he will still walk sideways.

I'm hoping that I can help her make some progress with him before I leave in April.

Sorry this post didn't have much to do with Shan or me. Neither of us are doing much these days lol!

 

[JoBlueQuarter]

Subbing!

I'm a little late finding this journal, but CONGRATS on your baby! Imagine all the fun you'll have teaching him/her to ride! ;-D

Nice to hear that you're having fun with A and Pi; sucks that Pi is acting up though. I'm guessing he's a young horse?

 

[Kalraii]

I think this is great! Subbing Shan is gorgeous. She looks really kind and smart. Congratulations on your little accident XD

 

[whisperbaby22]

When she fell, which bit was she using?

 

[whisperbaby22]

When she fell, which bit was she using?

 

[horseluvr2524]

When she fell, which bit was she using?

She was using her bit. I did recommend when we worked together the day before this happened that she use what she was familiar with on trails. Her bit is I believe a tom thumb with metal curb chain, though to be honest I hadn't given it more than a passing glance when out of Pi's mouth. Regardless, it's got a good shank on it and the curb chain, so she should be able to put a lot of pressure on his mouth. The fact he can run through that concerns me (he ignores this bit on a regular basis). In fact, she said that he "bolted faster than he ever did before". This happened before apparently? :frown_color:

However, he is an OTTB and if he was never properly reschooled after the track, bearing down on his mouth means more go than whoa to him. Some dressage teaching him cues to stop other than just rein should definitely be helpful.

Tom Thumb for those who don't know:

 

[horseluvr2524]

Subbing!

I'm a little late finding this journal, but CONGRATS on your baby! Imagine all the fun you'll have teaching him/her to ride! ;-D

Nice to hear that you're having fun with A and Pi; sucks that Pi is acting up though. I'm guessing he's a young horse?

I am super excited. I can't believe that my horse that was such a little devil in her younger years is now a confidence builder for someone else. I am so pleased and happy, I just know she is going to be awesome for my baby when the time comes to ride.

Pi is an ex-racehorse. I think he's in his teens. Not young, just seems to have a lot of holes in his training.

 

[horseluvr2524]

I think this is great! Subbing Shan is gorgeous. She looks really kind and smart. Congratulations on your little accident XD

Glad to have you join us! And thanks

Shan is totally amazing now, but she was a holy terror in her younger days. She did just about everything bad vice wise a horse could do! She outsmarted me a lot lol. But with a ton of time and patience, and lots of hours and miles training, she has turned into an incredible horse. Just wait till you see how awesome Katie is going to turn out in a few years.

 

[whisperbaby22]

It's hard when it is not your own horse. You are right when you say that there are holes in the training. And a tom thumb is not a bit that should be used by unskilled rider's. It has it's uses, and I have gone to a harsher bit when needed, then back to less harsh but I do it carefully. One of my favorite bits to use on a horse that takes off is a pelham. If the rider is not skilled with double reins just use the snaffle and keep the curb on a short rein laying on the horse's neck and used when needed. It may help in this case, but now that you are pregnant it's best to keep out of the way here.

 

[horseluvr2524]

Unfortunately it appears that my friend A doesn't know much about bits. I explained that shanked bits don't really allow for direct reining like snaffles do, she wasn't aware of that. I also explained about racehorses running into bit pressure, she didn't know that either. She is extremely nice, I like her a lot, and actually very teachable. She seems to want to learn what I have to offer. The problem is now I'm thinking that I have barely over a month to teach her, and I'm concerned it won't be enough time. I do think that she is fully capable of retraining Pi, with just a little tips and guidance. I'm more than willing to help out with instruction and ground work, but I'm sure not getting on Pi's back!

The pelham is a good suggestion @whisperbaby22 , thanks! It will probably be something to look into in the future, once she and Pi have mastered the snaffle in the arena.

In other news, she did visit the ER as she had a bad fever. Found out nothing was broken, so that's good, but she is very sore.

 

[horseluvr2524]

Today was a good day. I met up with A, who is feeling much better and walking normally. We set up to do some ground work with Pi.

First, I took out my baby Shan and gave her a twenty minute lunge. She is such a good girl, and boy does she make me laugh! After getting warmed up, I asked her to canter. She got real fired up and spent half a round galloping, which made me laugh at her, which then seemed to give her the idea to spin towards me and rear up playfully. She wasn't being aggressive, but playful. She was about ten feet away from me and just took a second pawing the air, and tossed her head as she came down, which made me laugh again. Then she stood still and awaited my directions.

Some people would be afraid if a horse reared in their direction on the lunge. Others would aggressively get after the horse, thinking it to be disrespectful. But you have to know the horse. You have to be able to read them. I know Shan, and I can read her like a book. We know each other very well. I'm not afraid of horse antics because of the liberty training I've done with her. So when she rears in play, and all of that power and joy and energy comes bursting forth in an explosion of emotion, all it does is fill me with wonder, awe, and joy. I can't even express how that feels in that moment. You just have to experience it for yourself. If you haven't tried liberty before, you should consider it.

Anyway, I got my silly playful girl and tied her up after lunging. A's 7 month old son was with her, in a playpen that was put in a safe location but also right next to the horse tie. As I began to help A with lunging and ground work, I watched Shan over there with the baby. She ADORED him. Ears pricked forward, head low, just calmly watching him. She kept an eye on him all the way until his dad came and picked him up. She really likes babies and kids. I'm surprised, but glad.

So Pi did really good on the lunge, and was sidepassing, moving haunches, leading well, etc. So my next idea was to ground drive him. We put her western saddle on him, a D ring snaffle, and I ran both the lunge lines through the stirrups. Then I started ground driving him. He picked it up fast. It was good because I was able to feel what A is dealing with on the rein when riding him. He can be a bit hard mouthed, and he doesn't seem to have been taught how to turn with his whole body when asked to turn instead of just his head. I worked on turning with him. He tried running out on me a couple times on a turn, but I was able to quickly convince him to move the direction I wanted by keeping pressure on the turning rein and using the opposite rein/lunge line against his body to encourage him to move away from it. That really seemed to help and he was soon moving well for me.

By the time all was said and done, his turns had vastly improved. His stops are pretty bad though. He liked to try to run through my hands. So I kept the pressure on until he stopped, and then I made him back up a couple steps. Then had him walk on and do something else, then stop and rinse and repeat. His stops were a lot better by the end, but they definitely need work.

Me trying to help A with ground driving was pretty funny. Performing an action is one thing, but explaining how to do that action is entirely another! Pregnancy brain wasn't helping, but I tried my best. She caught on and was doing well with him at quitting time. I told her that my opinion was that this would really help him if she did this once or twice a week. It's also good because it is giving her a feel for how the horse should look and feel when working, rather than letting them slop along, and I think this will help her with feel once she gets back in the saddle. She had him looking good at the end of the session and I was pretty happy with both.

Shan, while a star the rest of the time, is a devil to trim. SUCH a brat, and I'm not very fast either. It's only been four weeks since I last trimmed, so her hooves weren't too bad at all. But she makes it difficult. She likes to yank her foot away, and I've tried a variety of methods to make her stop, none of which have really helped. So I was only able to get the front two hooves done. I'll try to come back later this week and get the hinds and touch up the front again. I'm either going to have to teach DH how to trim, or just call my trimmer and have them come out for one last trim before I ship her out in April. I'm thinking the latter is going to be more feasible because poor DH has enough on his plate with his crazy work schedule.

That's about it for now. I wish I had video of that lunging session. It was so fun and just crazy hilarious. And the rear was beautiful. Something like that happens so very rarely, and I always feel like I've been given a gift when it does happen.

 

[horseylover1_1]

Definitely subbing! I LOVE your journal. You write so well, I felt like I was right there when you were describing your rides and groundwork sessions.

I'm glad you found a horse friend you get along well with. I haven't found that in years, unfortunately. I get along with everyone at the barn but they are more acquaintances than someone I could call a friend. Also so happy to hear that you're able to use your passion for training with someone that really wants to learn and can benefit from it. What you're doing with A could be exactly what she needs to enjoy a better relationship with Pi. Even when you move. Speaking of, whereabouts in Ohio are you moving to? I live a couple of hours from Cincinnati.

Cannot wait to read more about your training with both horses, the move, and of course the new baby!! Ahhhh so exciting!! Are you wanting a boy or girl?

 

[horseluvr2524]

Definitely subbing! I LOVE your journal. You write so well, I felt like I was right there when you were describing your rides and groundwork sessions.

I'm glad you found a horse friend you get along well with. I haven't found that in years, unfortunately. I get along with everyone at the barn but they are more acquaintances than someone I could call a friend. Also so happy to hear that you're able to use your passion for training with someone that really wants to learn and can benefit from it. What you're doing with A could be exactly what she needs to enjoy a better relationship with Pi. Even when you move. Speaking of, whereabouts in Ohio are you moving to? I live a couple of hours from Cincinnati.

Cannot wait to read more about your training with both horses, the move, and of course the new baby!! Ahhhh so exciting!! Are you wanting a boy or girl?

Aww, thanks! I don't hold a candle to those like @gottatrot or kalrai though when it comes to writing. Glad to hear you found it interesting though!

I want to help A and Pi as much as I can in what little time we have. I think the ground driving should help immensely. If she's been doing OK on that on her own, I may ask this coming Monday if she would like to try her hand at riding Shan again.

The area I'm moving to is fairly close to Dayton. That's very cool you live within a few hours, we should meet up sometime this year if possible.

I REALLY want a girl! I've still got my childhood breyer horse collection that I want to pass on to my child. I think a girl would enjoy it more. DH and I both think it's a girl, but we will find out for sure in May. But we will be overjoyed with and love the child whether it's boy or girl. I will admit that I'm daunted by the prospect of naming a human being. The fact that I will be deciding what the child is called for the rest of its life is a much heavier responsibility to me than even that of parenting.