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The Trail Less Traveled

5579 Views 61 Replies 11 Participants Last post by  horseylover1_1
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The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
The above poem by Robert Frost (no copyright infringement intended)I am using to start my new journal. I feel that it describes where I am at this point in my life. It's not the new year yet, but I feel that I'm at a point where I need to leave the past behind me.

A lot's changed for me in the past couple years. Just the past few months were very turbulent. My mom and her horse Belle are no longer a part of my life. She just moved stables a few days ago and that was pretty much the last connection I had with her. DH and I have been through the ringer recently, but God has been so good and provided every step of the way, and we are continuing to see new doors open.

I've let go of the dreams of showing and such. Being someone that's never been a ribbon winner, it's hard to let go of that need to feel like you must have something concrete that proves that you are a good rider and horseman. I realized that I wasn't wanting to show because it might be fun. I felt like I had to prove something, and to strangers no less that are for one reason or another advocated as authorities on horses, judging horse and rider teams whom perform (in a quite honest term) useless maneuvers in a ring. Kudos to those who do show, and I'm not meaning to demean you. But for me to show because of a strange need to prove myself, these are not the right reasons for me.

I will continue to practice dressage, but only for the purpose of improving my horse and myself. Also known as training level dressage :wink: I hope to get back to doing little jumps for fun, and setting up a small cross country course out in the desert. This will take some work, but it's only a half hour ride to my "gallop track" and it's such a nice section to set one up on.

Shan is doing well. Despite the colder nights, her arthritic symptoms have not returned. She is unfit, but so am I. If I can get two or three good rides in a week I will be very happy. I may have a connection with a trail riding business a street over from my boarding barn. That would be fun to get involved in. The barn is also getting new boarders in. The only other horse at the moment is one named "Peppi", he's a beautiful blue roan two year old stud colt. He's got a lot to learn about life, and how not to spook at things! Shan thinks he is 'oh so handsome', but just between us, he's a little young for her. I'm looking forward to maybe being able to help with his training, and riding with the other boarders soon to move in.

For those of you who don't know us, I have one horse. Shan (Cheyenne) is a BLM mustang/Tennessee walking horse cross (best guess) mare. She is currently 13 years old. I got her when she was 5, green on green. Did all the training myself, and she now rides English or western, jumps, bit of dressage, awesome trail horse, loads into any trailer, goes anywhere, rides alone or with others, ground drive, lunge, all that good stuff. She's my little star and I just love her to pieces. I can't wait to see what the years ahead hold in store for us.

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Thanks @gottatrot and @whisperbaby22 !! The little stinker sure has grown on me, despite having changed an innumerable amount of very, very messy diapers lol.

One other birth related thing I have been thinking about and wanting to comment on ... Most of what you see portrayed on TV (and some women are like this, it's true) is that once the baby is born the mother has a sudden rush of emotion and is crying and holding the baby and just overcome with love. For me, it wasn't like that. The midwife put her on my chest and I felt her squirm and make noise, and I basically thought "ok, she's alive, she's breathing," and laid back with my eyes closed and tried to come to the terms of everything that had just happened, that the pain had finally stopped, and that I was alive and I was breathing. I was in what I would call a state of shock, like one experiences after breaking a bone or concussing their head. And for several hours after, I felt drained emotionally ... monotone or neutral is how I would describe my feelings at that time. I certainly felt an instinct to protect and care for Aria immediately, but those overwhelming feelings of love and adoration took a day to begin happening, and then grew from there. After a few weeks once all the pain was gone, those emotions of love were overflowing. And now I can't hardly stand to listen to myself saying all that ridiculous baby talk/baby voice just to coax a smile out of her lol. My friend said she had a similar experience after her labor. Just basically "ok, she's alive, now leave me alone. I just want to rest now."

:gallop:

Got some new pictures of Shan today! I was glad to see her still in good health. She needs some extra nutrition to help that topline and other musculature (hence the smartpak), but weight wise she looks great I think. It's so hard being so far away and not being able to go and see for myself that she is doing well and being cared for. But the BO is awesome, she really is. She's even using one of her extra blankets to put on Shan for the winter because the light canvas one I had isn't appropriate for a midwestern winter. I honestly don't think I've ever had a BO this trustworthy, this nice, and this caring. God really does provide in the most amazing ways!

Here's the little fuzzbutt lol. In the picture with two horses, she's on the left.

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Aww! I can't believe I am just now catching up to your journal! It's in my subscriptions but it didn't pop up on the top for some reason.. I've not been on here much recently though. Anywho.

I enjoyed reading about Aria's "grand entrance" and you sound like such a trooper for not having any pain relief during your labor! I can't imagine! I'm sorry it was hard & painful but glad to hear that everyone is healthy and happy. When I found out how an epidural was administered, I was shocked with how many women choose to have one - especially making the decision beforehand. I can see where if you're in a lot of pain at the time of labor, you'd be willing to do just about anything to relieve it. But... to make the pre-meditated, conscious decision to put a huge needle in your spine is just frightening to me. I guess everyone is different. I am not a needle person, though...

I'm so happy that Shan is in good hands. Summer will be here before you know it. And OMG, that is SO sad about your barn owner's significant other. I'm glad she is OK, but wow.. it would be very hard to go on after that.
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