I don't know if I have any real advice, other than to say I know how you feel. I'm 5'6" 235lbs at the moment. I used to weigh 212 and at one point made it down to 189 when I was doing low-carb. Somehow I just can't keep the diet going like I should.
My current horse is probably about 1100 lbs, 14.3-15 hands. BUT she is also 18 years old and sometimes has some soundness issues, so if she's having an "off" day I really beat myself up. Then other times, she's like a fire-breathing dragon and she doesn't seem to notice me up there at all! What's been driving me crazy lately is I have this fantasy of getting a second horse. So I can rotate them and ride nearly every day and not feel guilty like I'm going to wear out my single horse. But all the horses around here are so small. I mean, you would be lucky if they are 14.3, 900 lbs.
So I don't know. A lot of people say they don't believe in the 20% rule. And there truly ARE a lot of folks that are normal-to larger sized riding small horses. Especially in the "real world." (A lot of western performance horses/riders fall into that category). In the real world, people swear I'm not too big to ride. And I see a lot of tall people (not necessarily overweight, but they are tall so they are on the heavier side just because of their frame) and they are riding horses where their legs hang below their bellies. When I got my mare, she was owned by a lady who is quite tall, over 6 feet. And I thought she looked a bit big on her because her legs hung below the belly. So when I first saw photos of ME on the same horse, I was scared I was going to look like a cow on her back. But I was surprised that I looked pretty well matched with her. I mean, I
wish I was thinner (and I'm working on it again) but I don't look as bad as I thought I would.
The wider the horse, the more they take up your leg as well. I had a stocky Mustang once that probably didn't make 14.3 but he was wide and I never looked oversized on him.
You know, if you love the horse, just go with it for a while and see how it works out. You might not be too big for him at all (and if you are, it will probably be apparent to you over time). But a heavier, considerate rider, might actually be kinder on a horse than a lighter rider that rides like a bat outta hell, if you know what I mean! I am always very aware of the footing and speed and only go faster than a walk if I feel like it is safe for my horse. I've seen a lot of smaller riders really not give a hoot about galloping a horse through rocks or poor footing. I think the rider
caring about their horse helps a lot.
I don't arena ride at all, I just ride trails. :smile: