Yes YOU have a huge problem. I'm pretty sure that you aren't going to listen to the previous peoples advice, I'm not saying I disagree with them but please take this into consideration.
Rest your horse. Put him out for two weeks. Then if he his sound bring him back into slow work. If he is lame or sore in anyway do not ride him, call a vet. This is a living breathing animal that you are fully responsible for. Understand that he is pain and he cannot escape it. I'm sure you love your horse, and you just don't know better, but horses require knowledge, read some books in this two weeks off, ignorance is not an excuse regardless of your age.
Only jump your horse once a week. In general horses don't need more than that, and for you that will be plenty. Try not to jump on hard ground and use protection. If dressage is boring then don't do it I guess, just be a trail rider and go walking on trails. Whatever. But if you are planning on doing something that requires control, like jumping, then you have to work on control, and that is what dressage is about, control, balance etc.
Please find a knowledgeable instructor, please respect your horse and please help him. You might think we are over reacting, but we are not.
If you don't think you can "control" yourself, or you think that your "obsession" is too hard to handle then maybe you should not have a horse until you learn self control and how to be responsible. Maybe just restrict yourself to weekly lessons or something.